Posy and Vick ask me a thousand questions over dinner. Eventually I weave a story out of it, something along the lines of being lost, but the only person that doesn't comment is Rory. He hasn't said a single word and won't even look at me. I try making conversation with him, but he would just shrug, or shake his head. When he gets up to do the dishes, I can feel him looking at my back. The scars show faintly through the shirt if you look long enough, and I can sense his eyes on me. I clench my fists, and tighten my jaw, then get up with my plate and Ma's.
My back screams in protest because of the sudden movement, but I bit the inside of my cheek and ignore it the best I can. I put my plate into the freezing water next to him and scrub. He keeps his gaze away from mine. We work in silence until Vick, Ma and Posy disappear into the back rooms to get ready for bed. "You okay?" I ask quietly. "You haven't said anything all night."
My brother sighs and glances up at me, and I can see in his steely eyes that something's bothering the kid. He opens his mouth to say something but stops himself. "Gale, you promised you'd be careful," he mutters so quietly only I can hear it. I wince, clenching my jaw and taking a deep breath.
"You know?"
"Gale, I saw it," his voice cracks a little as he says the sentence I was hoping he never would. "All of it." We both stand in silence for a while and he finally says, "I don't think I've ever been more scared. I mean, hearing you-" he stops himself. Finishing his work, then walking away.
Damn it. Rory should have never seen that. I was praying that none of them saw it. I guess it's better him than Vick or Posy, but he should have not seen it. I can't believe he saw it. I can't. I'm leaning against the counter with a white-knuckled grip.
A soft hand gently touches my shoulder, and the lashes there flare up in up in terrible pain. I groan, jerking away. Ma moves her hand and leans against the sink facing me. "How do they feel?" she asks quietly.
"They hurt. A lot," I grumble.
"It'll get better in time. You didn't deserve that many, you were just trying to feed your family-"
"It's alright, Ma. This is what they do to people like me," I sigh. She rests her hand on my bicep and gives it a reassuring squeeze.
"Gale Vincent Hawthorne, you listen to me," she says sternly but gently at the same time. "I am so proud of you. You have taken on so much responsibility and you've done a great job handling it. You're strong and determined and a hard-worker and so sweet with those kids, Gale, you didn't know Thread was there and you deserved a little more of a chance. Okay?"
"Ma, I screwed up, I can't afford to screw up like that!" I vent.
"Gale, all of us are okay, you're alive-"
"Ma, Rory saw all of it."
She goes silent, covering her mouth with her hand. I look over her shoulder and see my thirteen year old brother staring a Ma and I. Tears are in his eyes and he's fighting to keep them in. He grabs his coat and storms out into the dark. I call after him, chasing him as fast as I can. "Rory! Rory! Slow down, please!" He stops at the mines, then turns around to face me. "It's all over now, alright?"
"Gale, you realize how terrifying it is watch to the strongest person you know scream? To watch the hell beaten out of them? It's awful."
I pull him into my arms, and he just buries his face in my chest. Thank God he doesn't touch my back. I realize this is the first time I've really seen Rory cry since I told him Dad wouldn't be coming home. I stroke his back and within the minute he's calmed down, and starts walking home with me.
"Listen, I'm just fine. I know it looks bad, but they feel so much better now. I can actually stand it, okay. It's all okay." He just nods, leaning into me, and we walk home in the dark together.