Pearl and Diamond's Evolution Gags
Diamond was sitting on his couch, watching TV with Bē and enjoying his favourite anime, Taurina Omega. A half-empty plate of sesame-flavoured mochi was still on the table. Next to it, there were several more plates, already emptied of their various delicacies. Bē picked up the plate with the remaining snacks and poured them down his throat.
Diamond, on the other hand, was looking queasy.
Ping pong! The doorbell rang. Diamond went to get it, and found Pearl at the door, Perahiko perching on his shoulder. The ever exuberant Pearl pulled out a flier from his pocket and showed it to his friend. Diamond uncreased it as best he could and scanned it quickly. His eyes lit up.
"A Laugh-a-lot competition next week!" announced Pearl. "Let's start practising now!"
"OK... but... I think I had too many mochi," complained Diamond.
"I still expect you to practice," said Pearl. He was determined to enter next week's contest and he was desperate this time to win.
"Do we have to? I'm not feeling too well..." said Diamond, leading Pearl into the living room. He switched off the TV and sat down, clutching his stomach. To be fair, Diamond shared Pearl's desire to win the contest, but he knew his limitations.
"Yes we have to," Pearl insisted. "Stand up," he said, whacking him in the face. "Let's try the evolution gags."
Diamond thought it advisable to stand up and give it ago, fighting his queasiness and bracing himself for a few more slaps and thumps as would invariably ensue before the practice was over. He straightened his clothes and stood into position next to Pearl.
"Talking about Pokémon evolutions..." started Pearl, looking bright and cheerful.
"Yes, Pokémon evolutions," echoed Diamond, making an effort to look blank.
"What does Bulbasaur evolve into?" asked Pearl.
"Bulbasaur?" Diamond looked up for a moment with a dopey expression. "I don't know," he replied.
"Bulbasaur evolves into Ivysaur," said Pearl, raising a finger as if to make a point.
"Ivysaur?" asked Diamond idly.
"Yes. And what does Ivysaur evolve into?" asked Pearl, as if there was some secret he was about to let out.
"I don't know," replied Diamond. "Ivysaur tummy?" he said, tilting his head in an appeal for sympathy.
"THAT'S NOT THE LINE!" yelled Pearl, turning to scream into his face.
"But I do have a sore tummy."
"Stop eating so much!" said Pearl, whacking him on the head.
"Ow!" he said, cringing. "Now Ivysaur head!" He rubbed his scalp to soothe the pain.
Diamond took a moment out to regain his composure. He faced Diamond, gently put his arms on his friend's shoulders and looked him in the eye, sort of like a big brother would look at his kid brother when he was about to give him some not-so-welcome advice.
"Dia," he said, "I mean, Diamond."
Diamond stared back blankly while rubbing his tummy.
"We need to win this contest. It could be our lucky break."
"Yeah, it could be," replied Diamond meekly.
"So are we going to be serious about it?"
Diamond nodded, resolving not to let his friend down in spite of his discomfort.
"Shall we try the next one?" said Pearl. It was more an order than a request.
They regained their well-trained poses once more.
"Talking about Pokémon evolutions..." started Pearl, looking bright and cheerful.
"Yes, Pokémon evolutions," echoed Diamond, staring vacantly.
"What does Caterpie evolve into?" asked Pearl.
"Caterpie? I don't know," replied Diamond.
"Caterpie evolves into Metapod," said Pearl, raising a finger as if to make a point.
"Metapod?" asked Diamond blankly.
"Yes. And what does Metapod evolve into?" asked Pearl.
"Ah, I know that one!" announced Diamond. "It's Butterfree!"
"That's not the line!" yelled Pearl.
"Oh... Was it Buttermilk?" asked Diamond.
"No!"
"Butternut?"
"NO!"
"Butter scone?"
"Why does everything have to do with food?" screamed Pearl. He whacked Diamond again, this time harder.
"Ouch! That's assault and buttery!"
At that point, Pearl was starting to get angry. "Diamond! Your comeback lines are not the lines we're meant to be practising!"
Diamond scratched his head. "Yes, but people laugh at them," he said.
"That's not the point!" Pearl shouted with not a little frustration. "Let's practice the script!"
Pearl sighed and forced himself to calm down and resume his original pose.
"Talking about Pokémon evolutions..." started Pearl, forcing a smile while gritting his teeth.
"Yes, Pokémon evolutions," echoed Diamond, looking dumb.
"What does Shinx evolve into?" asked Pearl.
"Shinx? I don't know," replied Diamond idiotically.
"Shinx evolves into Luxio," said Pearl, raising a finger as if to make a point.
"Luxio?" asked Diamond blankly.
"Yes. And what does Luxio evolve into?" asked Pearl.
"If it lucks out, it will evolve into a Luxray!" said Diamond.
"Yes," said Diamond, pretending to look even happier, "and that would be its lucksy day!"
Pearl stopped forcing his smile and looked serious. After a moment's thought, he asked Diamond, "Well, we did it right."
"Yes, We did!" replied Diamond. "How do you think that one will go down?"
The two boys stared at each other, then both shook their heads.
"That one needs a little work," admitted Pearl.
"At least I feel better now," said Diamond. "Would you like me to make us something to eat?"
Pearl groaned.
A/N: My first Pokémon Special fanfic... please let me know what you think!