"Tell me when the world is ending, you won't be there still pretending
I was just someone you would love to love, but never love"
A levy can only take so much before it breaks.
The tiniest fragment of a smile, that's all it took in the end. The levy flies apart and Robbie finds his feet carrying him on unfamiliar tides. Tori's smirk splinters into a grin as she catches site of Robbie, and gee she's pretty he thinks.
Thumb between his teeth, Robbie tramples through the halls and toward where Tori is standing beside her locker. Before he knows it, Robbie has come to a halt right in front of her, bathed in the light of his favorite smile. It's not even that he's operating under the delusion that she quirks her lips in a special way for him. No, he knows Tori happily dishes out sunshine to anybody that looks even the slightest bit upset. That's kind of the reason he loves it though. With Tori he's not a freak or a nerd to be pitied, he's just somebody she smiles at.
All the while Robbie's mind is wandering; words are coming to life on the tip of his tongue. When they sail off his lips, Robbie is almost as shocked as Tori. Almost.
"I uh, I love you."
When he realizes what he's said, Robbie's eyes fly to the ground and he refuses to meet Tori's gaze. When he tries to chain his fingers together, he can't even do that right. One of his fingernails catches under another, and he can already feel a bruise beginning to form. Robbie's limbs feel all loose and disjointed, and he decides it's pretty fucking apt. His whole world is about to get wonky. Really wonky.
"Robbie-" His name slips off Tori's lips. There's this look on her face, a crooked line more specifically. It's nothing but bad news, and Robbie wants more than anything to smooth it out and say he was just kidding.
He doesn't though. In the instant that Robbie feels something coil in his chest, the pavement feels him turn heel and run. He struggles to run in a straight line, forcing himself not to let his disappointment spill over until he's sitting inside of a beaten up old convertible. Rex is already waiting for him of course, a sneer on his wooden lips.
"Coward." The puppet hisses, lying limply next to Robbie. It's the perfect epitaph to this sad affair, so Robbie remains silent as he cranks his car into gear.
Peeling out of the parking lot, Robbie just feels numb. Only when Hollywood Arts hangs in the horizon, does Robbie feel his heart giving it's occasional sad little lurches again. During a red light, Robbie's eyes stray to a dangling trinket hanging from his rear view mirror. Within its glass walls is a picture of the whole gang.
Robbie remembers the tale behind it well. The picture had been taken right after they'd finished building Cat's muffin float. Despite the struggles, they'd all been so proud of themselves. Robbie recalls Sikowitz buzzing around and snapping what felt like a thousand pictures. He especially recalls Tori hanging off his shoulder for the best fifteen minutes of his life. She'd insisted on getting pictures together, but Robbie's never seen any of them so he doubts she bothered to get them printed.
"It's green man, hurry up and go." Rex's nasal voice pries Robbie away from his memories. Forcing his car into gear, Robbie is actually thankful for Rex's intrusion as they head toward the horizon.
"You didn't think it would be that easy, did you dummy?" Rex spits, roaring with laughter at the site that confronts Robbie the next morning.
Robbie brings his palm to his brow and rubs away a bead of sweat. Standing at the opposite end of the hallway, it's not just a brunette girl with perfect golden skin. It's not just Tori Vega. It's the shards of his unattainable dream. Tori's speaking to Cat in hushed tones and every once in a while, Robbie catches her eyes lingering on him. They're all soft and glassy. Vulnerable in a way that makes Robbie wonder why he didn't stay and listen to her.
When Cat ducks out of sight, Tori flashes a watery smile in his direction, the edges of her lips barely shifting. Robbie's heart gives a particularly hard kick as he does it, but he forces himself to sink into the crowd. It hurts when he sees Tori's sad little smile dip even further, but Robbie knows cutting himself off from the infection is the best course of action. Besides, she'd only cut herself trying repair the jagged edges of what he's turned himself into.
He doesn't see Tori for the rest of the day after that, purposely keeping to the parts of Hollywood Arts that Tori hasn't ever really ventured into. It's not that bad he supposes. The burnouts are too busy laughing at nothing to ask many questions. Their emerald haze curls around Robbie, but he doesn't fall into its embrace. He's got way too much homework this week to spend any time at all soaring over the clouds.
By the time Friday crashes over him, Robbie's grown weary of ducking Tori's coffee orbs and lingering at the fringes of society. Briefly, he considers a fake ID and a new identity in Northridge. Robbie's pretty sure Sikowitz knows a guy, too. One time, he had found the man's wallet after class. It had been full of licenses that did not say Erwin Sikowitz on them in that particular instance.
"No way, Wayne's World 2 was the best." A droning voice argues, pulling Robbie out of his thoughts and into a state of irritation. He's really not interested in hearing about whether Wayne's World 2 is better than the original or not again. It's been the central topic of discussion within this foggy realm since his arrival several days ago.
"I need money!" A manic voice shrieks, registering at a pitch just above car alarm. As the voice's owner begins to babble, Robbie's filled with a very specific brand of confusion. Geez, he almost feels as though he's heard this very same story in the past six hours. While the crazed lunatic continues to babble, Robbie's eyes slowly widen. As the harrowing tale near its conclusion, Robbie's irises blow wide apart at the realization that he might be in the presence of Cat's mythical brother.
"Is your last name Valentine?" Robbie squeaks, wedging his question into a brief passage of silence.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Comes the indignant response to Robbie's question. Yup, this guy is definitely a Valentine. As the words continue to erupt forth, Robbie can only shake his head. Even with the absence of a mane of rust colored hair, this guy reminds him entirely too much of Cat.
"Nothing! Just I…I'm Robbie. You need money right?" Robbie stammers, extending an arm uneasily. A tense moment hangs in the air as Steve regards him without budging an inch. His mouth is drawn into a thin, unfriendly line and Robbie's got the smallest urge to just cut his losses and run. If the things Cat's said about her brother are even remotely true, that would probably be the smartest course of action.
"Steve…and yeah, I need money. What's it to you?" Is the eventual stone-faced response. It's calm and measured, everything that Steve's initial ramblings hadn't been. Unconsciously, Robbie grips Rex tighter and feels the puppet's disapproval reverberate off his chest.
"So, how do you feel about black afro wigs?" Robbie answers uneasily, screwing his arms even tighter around his body. He knows asking a Valentine for help might not be the brightest idea he's ever come up with, but it's either that or growing roots in the shadows by this point.
The prospect of having Cat's brother carry out this plan for him is slightly less unappealing than spending the rest of his life hearing about Wayne's World.
Cat's brother, loves the black Afro wigs.
During one of the fifteen-minute blocks Tori is chasing Steve, Cat tells him so. In fact, he's apparently growing his hair out with the intent of getting a perm in the future. Robbie wonders how long that plan will last before another thought knocks it out of Steve's head.
For almost two weeks, Robbie finds himself living within those blocks. Fifteen minutes is the average amount of time it usually takes Steve to shake Tori from his trail. Tori, it turns out can be easily fooled by matching clothes and a cheap wig because she hasn't questioned a thing yet. Every time Robbie ducks out of sight and sees Tori's brown swirls dart in Steve's direction he feels a little worse about the whole thing though. He'd expected her to chase him for a day, two at the most. It's bordering on four weeks now though, almost a month.
And then 31 days into the ordeal, Tori catches Steve.
Robbie's not aware of this fact at first, but when Steve hauls him by the neck towards the Janitor's closet, the truth begins to unravel. As the heavy door slams behind them, Robbie can see the serious look in Steve's eyes. It's not unlike the first day they had met. That's what makes Robbie realize something's happened though; this look hasn't appeared on Steve's face since then.
"Robbie, I gotta quit man. She caught me." Steve mumbles, his thick eyebrows meeting just above his nose. Steve dips his gaze, and as he pulls a thick mop of curls from his head, the shadows swallow his features for a moment.
"W-why? You can still run. Just run faster." Robbie pleads, shaking his head and refusing to take hold of the wig Steve is jabbing in his direction. Steve blinks in his direction at this and frowns even more deeply. Robbie wishes he wouldn't do that, it makes Robbie feel even worse about going through with something ridiculous like this in the first place.
"She is way too sad, man. She's chasing you for a reason. I think you've just gotta let her catch you." Robbie struggles to fathom sage advice like that coming from Steve's lips, but it just happened.
And then Steve's ducking his head and disappearing with a sigh. Robbie's eyes fall to the wig Steve dropped near the door on his way out. Screwing his eyes shut, Robbie tries not to think about the bad feeling tearing up his chest. Time seems to pass slowly in the janitor's closet, and Robbie wonders just what in the hell he's going to do now. Tori's probably more rabid than ever in her quest to talk things out. The last time she'd caught him in her gaze, Robbie had noticed the frenzy within Tori's coffee colored orbs. Ignoring Rex's thoughts on the matter, Robbie dismisses it as an obsessive curiosity and nothing more.
"What the hell are you doing in here?" Robbie throws his hands over his eyes as a wide block of light sears his retina. Even temporarily blinded, Robbie recognizes the voice though. Blinking back his vision when he hears the door shut again, Robbie finds himself in a confined space with the devil herself.
"Uh, hey Jade. How's…er, how are you?" He mumbles, slinking into a corner and as far away from Jade as possible. Her shoulders are rising and falling in a way that carves jagged lines in the limited light of the Janitor's closet.
Jade stares at him for a long time, ages actually. Taking note of her deep breaths, Robbie recognizes one of her anger management techniques when he sees it. Multiplying his own irritation at being found in here by an atomic bomb, Robbie realizes just how much anger is swirling around within Jade at this moment. Taking that into account, he's actually kind of impressed that she's keeping a lid on it.
"I uh, do you want to make some money?" Robbie asks, approximately twelve minutes later. Jade has tossed aside her bag and is now eating a burrito. Robbie's taken it as a sign of peace, or at least grudging acceptance of his presence.
"I'm not interested in doing that with you." Jade snarls, arms falling across her chest like concrete. Robbie pushes a hard, rattling laugh out at the idea, because it's just that ludicrous. Robbie's so terrified by Jade that he's not even sure if his equipment would be up for any kind of interaction with her.
"Uh, no. Not that." Robbie retorts, adamantly shaking his head. The venom on Jade's lips dries up, and interest clambers onto her reluctant features. As the words come to life on Robbie's lips, he can scarcely believe what he's saying. Jade's lips push into a hard smile as Robbie hauls her into the tangled mess that his life has become.
What kind of person sets Jade West on the person they love?
The next four days seem to limp by, wounded by Jade's constant shrieks at Tori. The moments of peace that follow in the wake of those outbursts are a tainted kind of peace. Tori's silent, but deathly so. It's during these times that Robbie steals a glance at her. Tori's coffee colored orbs are always darkened during these moments, her brow creased above her nose. Robbie wants more than anything to smooth out those lines, but he knows doing so will only bring about the conversation that he's so desperately avoiding. He'll continue living this cursed half-life just to hold onto the delusion that Tori will eventually fall in love with him.
The fifth day is the worst though, like a bullet has been put in the week's ambition. The hours just barely pass by, and more than once Robbie catches Tori's sad little smile from the corner of his eye. By the time Robbie's sitting in his rusted out excuse for a car, the weather reflects his mood. Drops of rain tumble from the sky like boulders, and Robbie's vaguely thankful that he'd managed to pull to soft-top to his car in the morning for once.
It's Friday, so Robbie finds himself straying from his usual path home. He veers into a place that he only feels a cold detachment towards. As Robbie rolls to a halt, his father's towering home looms high over the horizon at the end of a dead end street. This frown that's never too far from his lips etches itself deeply into his lips as he knocks on the door. Robbie makes several hours of small talk that's just barely skin deep with his father. Eventually, the man excuses himself when his phone goes off and Robbie finds himself hurtling down the highway again.
When he arrives home, for some inexplicable reason, Robbie's eyes flick to the bushes that line the garden. The branches at the edge are crushed, and Robbie's sure they weren't like that this morning. Swallowing the fear that's so desperately trying to climb into his throat, Robbie digs himself out of his seat and into the pouring rain. His feet pound against the sodden surface of the lawn a little faster than he'd like, if he's honest.
When he hauls the remaining healthy limbs of his mother's favorite bush aside, Robbie's heart gives a particularly painful clench at the site behind their veil. He screws his eyes shut for a second, before trying the blink away the image that's been burnt into his eyes. The girl's chestnut hair is spilling all over her just barely moving shoulders. She's soaked to the bone and her skins lost that golden hue that Robbie loves about her.
"Tori, what are you doing here?" The words leave Robbie's lips hesitantly, and his hand flies out so fast he hasn't even noticed what he's done until Tori's flesh is beneath his fingertips. She doesn't fly in opposite direction like he's expecting. She doesn't even lift her head to meet Robbie's gaze.
"Tori, ignoring me right now isn't very mature. It's freezing out…here." Robbie shoots for certainty, but his voice dribbles into the air with all of the authority of a wet noodle. Rattling his hand of Tori's ice cold shoulder, Robbie feels the panic within him beginning to build. By the time his finger get tangled in Tori's loose curls, Robbie's in a right state. She's not moving. His hands are entwined within her hair, and Tori isn't moving an inch. Something is wrong.
"Tori, you have to get up." Robbie's voice scratches and catches in his throat as he tries in vain to drag her upright. He can't believe that this has happened just because of his stupid little feelings.
Tori's limbs are like lead when Robbie cradles her against his torso and stands upright. As twigs crackle beneath his feet, Robbie tries not to peer down at her to often. Tori's makeup is running down her cheeks, and the kohl rivers only make him feel worse. The fifteen steps that it takes Robbie to reach the front door comprise the longest journey of his life.
Bumping the door open with his hip, relief washes of Robbie as he realizes that somebody else might be home. Dragging his gaze over the living room, Robbie catches sight of his older sister Cassandra. Her gaunt frame is draped over the kitchen counter and she's reading a thick looking textbook. Robbie really hopes they've already covered enough in his sister's nursing degree for her to be of some assistance. He's trying to pry some words out of his throat when Cassandra catches sight of the girl in his arms and begins to stomps forward.
"Robbie, what in the actual fuck?" Cassandra's voice bounces off the walls and Robbie struggles against the urge to fly in the direction of his car. The hospital's only 45 minutes away. Robbie thinks his sister might yell at him for that long, judging by the way that she's rubbing circles into her temples. Robbie's only seen Cassandra enact this action a handful of times before. None of those times ended in anything but misery.
"I-I don't know. I found her in the bushes…p-please help sis." Robbie's desperation bleeds into his voice, and apparently it's enough to snuff out the anger blazing within Cassandra. The glare on his sister's face fades into the past and her eyebrows upturn in concern. No longer attacking the ground with each step, she rushes over to where Robbie is standing.
"Little brother…" Cassandra sighs, catching the left side of her bottom lip between her teeth and forging ahead. Robbie's waiting for the explosion, but his sister remains calm as she stoops down to inspect Tori's condition. Cassandra grazes the back of her palm over Tori's brow and apparently that's enough.
"Take her and lay her down on your bed, I'll handle the rest." Cassandra announces, back straightening in an instant. Robbie's mouth opens and closes, protests against his sister's order coming to life on his lips. He can think of a million good reasons to take Tori somewhere else, anywhere else. But when the time comes for these reasons to leave Robbie's tongue, only silence seeps through his lips.
"Now!" Cassandra's voice flashes across the room and jars Robbie into action. Like a wind up toy, he takes stunted little steps towards his bed. When he leans down to place Tori on his comforter, Robbie's shocked to realize her arms have locked behind his neck. Tori's elbows are resting just barely on his shoulders, and Robbie wonders how he hadn't noticed sooner.
"Alright, good job. In case she wakes up, what's this ones name?" Cassandra asks, the edges of her voice softening again. Blinking away his lamentations over being so foolish, Robbie spirals in the direction of his sister's voice. Feeling as though he's unraveling, Robbie manages to squeeze out one word before lapsing into silence again.
"Tori." He utters, reattaching himself from Tori's grip and standing upright. A small whimper bristles through her lips and a slight crease works it's way onto her brow. Robbie's ridiculous heart decides that whimper was clearly meant for him and gives a little flip. Cassandra catches the grimace that Robbie uses to chase the feeling away. Shortly after, her thin eyebrows fall over her eyes and she gives a slight tut.
"Okay, now go and get in the shower. I don't want two patients." Cassandra closes the distance between herself and Robbie, hanging an arm over his shoulder as she speaks.
When Cassandra curls her arm around Robbie's arm and gives him a reassuring little rattle, he guesses that it's her way of telling him everything will be okay. Dragging a deep breath into his lungs, Robbie nods his head slowly, because it will be. It's got to be okay. Ignoring the faint rattle of his heart, Robbie turns away from his room and heads toward a sanctuary of steam and soap. He's got one foot into the pristine white room, when Cassandra's voice rumbles along the floorboards.
"Ah, the famous Tori Vega…"
First new thing I've posted in a while. It's a little out there, what with Tori chasing Robbie so relentlessly. If she feels a little too persistant, remember that Robbie is the narrator. So you know, he might be reading a little too far into some things and not enough into others...
I'm trying out writing in 3rd person, because Tell Your Story Walking is just about the raddest thing ever, and made me want you give it a crack. So, er...yeah.
The conclusion to this little fic will be up in the next few days. Review away my pretties!