Title: Too Much
Summary: What might've happened after the last scene of Serena & Blair at the end of 4x04.
Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl
Serena looked up to see a tearful Blair in her doorway. She said nothing as Blair made her way over to the bed & collapsed into her arms in tears.
Serena began smoothing Blair's hair back from her face. Once Blair's sobs seem to have quieted, Serena spoke softly, "B? What happened?"
Blair was finally able to catch her breath, & she lifted herself to sit up next to Serena on the bed.
"Eva left," Blair said softly.
Serena looked at her, surprised, "She left?"
Blair nodded as silent tears continued to slide down her cheeks.
"She left, & Chuck blames me. I never meant for Eva to leave, S. I just wanted...I don't know what I wanted...but it wasn't this."
Serena looked at her best friend sympathetically, "I know you didn't, B. You're manipulative & scheming, but you'd never intentionally hurt someone you care about."
Blair let out a humorless laugh, "Try telling that to Chuck. He was so angry, S., so angry & so hurt. I tried to apologize & explain, but he wouldn't listen. He accused me of wanting him to be miserable, then he 'declared war' on me, whatever that means."
Serena was quiet for a few moments before she said, "B., I know you said you didn't want her to leave, but what were you hoping would happen? Do you...do you want Chuck back? Do you still love him?"
A set of fresh tears started to fall down Blair's cheeks. She took a deep breath before answering, "He told me at the train station that he destroyed the only thing he ever loved. I told him that it'd take more than him to destroy me & that I didn't love him anymore. The truth is that I don't because I can't, S. Losing him all but destroyed me. I don't think I could survive it a second time. I told him once that I loved him so much, it consumed me. And that's exactly what it almost did."
Serena scooted closer to her best friend & put her arm around her shoulders. Blair fell into her embrace & laid her head on Serena's shoulder.
"He told me I was just upset that someone changed him, & it wasn't me. I overheard him telling Eva not to go because 'everyone leaves.' He told me he wanted to be the kind of person someone could love. I loved him so much, S., almost at the cost of myself. I never tried to change him because I loved & accepted him for who he was. And I only left because I didn't see any way I could stay."
Serena tightened her arm around Blair's shoulders, "I know, B."
Blair sat up & faced Serena as she burst into sobs, "Why wasn't it enough? Why wasn't I enough? All I ever did was love him."
She collapsed back into Serena's arms, sobbing uncontrollably. Serena did the only thing she could think of. She held her best friend, giving whatever comfort & strength she could offer, & she shed a few silent tears for her friend's lost love.