Kaiba vs. the Secretary

By Elderwolves

A/n: This story features me and a good friend of mine, plus one disgruntled Seto Kaiba. First fanfiction so be nice with the reviews! Not much else to say really, but enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing; if I did Cherry might stop watching due to drastic changes.

I adjusted my new Kaiba Corp. I.D. badge, and looked into the lady's room mirror. Everything was perfect, every detail of the suit was faultless and I with not a single hair out of place. The secretary directly below Seto Kaiba had recently been put on maternity leave, and needed a temporary replacement. My mission: become that replacement. It was fairly easy to forge the right "credentials" to obtain the position. Shame that I'm actually here for a different reason.

"Time to get to work." I say to myself as I exit. My smile broadens as I near the office of my new boss. I knocked on the door and entered at his command. "Good afternoon, Mr. Kaiba. I am the secretary you sent for." I said, complete with traditional Japanese bow. "Very well, your office is over there, Ms. Bannister." He thumbed over to a cubicle just inside the room. "Your first task is to organize my schedule for tomorrow, you may go." I bowed again and left for 'my' office. As I set myself down into my chair, hidden from Kaiba's line of sight, I feel my devil horns begin to grow again. Just in time for a maniacal grin to steal across my face.

Today has been long and laborious, but very productive. And I would know. With the exception of duels, he takes his secretary everywhere he travels; sort of like a manager. But the best was yet to come, I think to myself. "Mr. Kaiba, we have time for you to take a 15 minute restroom break." I say respectfully. I meant it, too. He will spend the whole day in the bathroom if you let him. He doesn't even GO most of the time! He sits in there to arrange his deck and think! I know that too cuz' I made the mistake of asking him why he took so long (I thought he fell in and drowned).

So he went to the restroom and locked the door (those fangirls are getting BOLD!). Now I had 15 minutes to spare. I hummed a merry tune under my new gas mask as I wheeled in the tank of sleeping gases, and turned the nozzle. I paused as I walked out of the room, and tossed a few timed flash grenades near the bathroom door to temporarily blind him when he came out. There were no windows or air ducts in there, so all I had to do was lock, bolt, and barricade the door. Believe it or not, all of that was necessary to capture the illustrious Seto Kaiba.

"So glad to be out of that suit." I was walking down the street with a rope slung over my shoulder. Attached to it was a huge cart with what appeared to be a gigantic cake decorated in 'Kingdom Hearts' style, with a small Cloud figurine brandishing a bright, unlit yellow candle like a sword. I grunted as I ploughed along. "Good thing, too. I wouldn't want to get it all sweaty with all the work I'm doing. Yeesh, you're one heavy cake!"

I had finally reached my destination a short while later. I rang the doorbell and waited. My sight was soon greeted with a short, blonde head. Cherry took one look at me, then made to shut the door again. "No, WAIT! I come in peace and bearing a gift." She gave me a suspicious look but came out anyway. I led her to the side of the house where I'd left the cart. "Whoa, what's this?" She exclaimed as I lit the candle and pulled out the stepladder. "Happy birthday, Cherry! Make a wish." She blew it out. "Ooh, ooh, I know this one! Stay up there, it's time for your present!" Running up to the cake, I unclasped the top, and pulled it clean off to reveal the concrete structure inside. Seto Kaiba was tied up and gagged sitting in his make-shift cage. He was scowling up at the both of us with his trademark death glare in place. A shrill squeal was all the warning I had before I heard something hit the ground behind me.

After I woke Cherry up and checked her over for any injuries, I let her know that Kaiba was all hers for the day, but to let him go tomorrow due to the fact that he had an important meeting the next day (something about a duel devise on wheels?) that he was required to attend. She agreed to my terms and Kaiba's terrified eyes where the last thing I saw before I went home. Good thing that Mr. Kaiba had contracted a 'cold' and had had to go home early today. I sang a happy tune as I walked. The job was hard, and I was glad that I would probably be fired tomorrow, that way I can return to my actual job that I love.

Kaiba was surprisingly calm when he came in the next day. I was sitting there; waiting for the fireworks to come so I could leave already (dueling is fun, just not the business side of it), when he dropped a whole boat load of work onto my desk and turned toward his office. "Um… what's this?" He looked back, "The notes for the next meeting, study them tonight and be here by five tomorrow morning." My smile fell. "WHY?" Now he was glaring at me. "Because that is your job? Or have you forgotten?" I blinked. "But I kidnapped you!" "So?" "I gave you to my friend as a frickin' BIRTHDAY PRESENT!" " …And?" "And I'm not even a real secretary, I'm a archeologist with covert-ops training, for Luna's sake!" He looked scarily happy to hear that. "Good, that will serve me well." I went pale. "Aren't you angry because I gave you to Cherry for the day?" He turned and started walking toward his office again. Just when I thought he wouldn't answer, I barely heard him mumble. "Actually… she has pretty good cake." I felt my body hit the floor, even as my soul started to escape out of my mouth.

Apparently he liked the idea of having a secretary who can sneak into opposing businesses in disguise, steal their secrets, find ancient artifacts (Egyptian or otherwise), kidnap without leaving a trace, and keep all of his appointments straight more than he liked a regular secretary. Not to mention he heard me talking to a coworker about building a "Fangirl Defense System". He's working me to a metaphorical death, and on top of that but Cherry is also making me take secret photos of him while he works. I'm currently being held at a job against my will, please send help. And if you get this Cherry, you owe me one. BIG TIME!

a/n: Yeah, a lot of horizontal breaks right? Sorry. If you don't review, I'm kidnapping Joey next!