Disclaimer; I don't own Doctor Who, or Harry Potter (Unfortunaly)
Plot; Rory had a encounter he'll never forget.
Characters; Rory Williams, the Doctor (11th), Amy Pond, Voldermort, Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, Snape.
Warnings; Innuendoes, mild swearing, mild slash.
The Doctor bounced around the TARDIS murmuring words to himself and pushing buttons. He pulled a leaver and listened to the landing signal.
"Where are we?" Amy asked, the Doctor shrugged.
"I don't know – I've never been here before" Amy and Rory exchanged a look. "So lets go find out" The Doctor bounced around the TARDIS then out the door with Rory and Amy on his tail.
""AVA- " The Doctor jumped as he looked at the tall white skinned man holding outwhat looked like a twig to a boy with round spectacles and a lighting scar. Who in return was holding a twig to the White skinned man.
"Who the hell are you?" the spectacled boy asked the Doctor who looked at Rory then Amy,
"And what the hell are you wearing?" A white haired boy said looking at the Doctor's bowtie.
"A bowtie, bowties are cool" The white haired boy and the spectacled boy exchanged a look as if saying 'they most defiantly are not'. The Doctor turned his nose up at them "What'd you know you're just teenagers" they both raised a eyebrow at each other as the Doctor got his sonic screwdriver out his pocket.
"Where are we?" Amy asked
"Hogwarts, well alright not Hogwarts just outside Hogwarts" the spectacled boy said as he played with his twig.
"Hogwarts what's Hogwarts?" The Doctor asked as he scanned each of the men in turn.
"A school for Witchcraft and Wizardry" The Doctor snorted.
"Magic isn't real" all the men exchanged a look;
"Really" the spectacled boy said looking at the white haired boy.
"Tarantallegra" the white haired boy said pointing his own twig at the Doctor. The Doctor frowned then looked down, his legs where uncontrollably dancing
"What have you done?" the Doctor asked as he began jiving. Amy and Rory stood with their hands over their mouths biting back laughter, the Doctor whined slightly as he started the Charleston.
"Nothing, because magic isn't real" the spectacled boy was laughing
"I never thought I'd ever say this Malfoy but good one" The white haired boy – now known as Malfoy chuckled
"Thanks Potter"
"Er hello, in the middle of a killing here" the White skinned man said waving his twig in Potter's direction.
The Doctor frowned as Malfoy stopped him dancing and got back to where he was meant to be.
"Why are you killing him – what's he done?" The white skinned man sighed and turned to the Doctor holding his twig and playing with it.
"Alright about fourteen years ago –"
"Fifteen" Potter corrected him,
"Oh alright, about fifteen years ago, I was the most powerful wizard ever. I killed his parents"
"Oh no" Amy said, Potter nodded
"I know"
"Anyway..." they all looked back at the white skinned man "...I went to kill him, then he beat me, he drained all my powers as such"
"I was one" Potter said grinning. The Doctor nodded as he looked at the White skinned man.
"About a year ago maybe two – is it two?" Potter nodded
"It is two" The white skinned man nodded
"Well I came back, reborn as such. Now I'm getting my revenge. Alright everyone up-to date?" Everyone nodded "Any more questions?" Amy, Rory and the Doctor looked at each other, shaking their heads.
"I have a question?" Rory said, the white skinned man nodded and pointed to him "Why don't you have a nose?"
"Good question Rory the roman, why don't you have a nose?" the white skinned man sighed.
"Oh it was no nose or no body" Potter and Malfoy looked at each other again, then resisted laughter.
"You could share Rory's nose, his is massive" Rory rolled his eyes
"Thanks Doctor" the Doctor snickered lightly
"He has a point you could've shared" the white skinned man said as he held out his wand.
"Alright enough of the nose jokes" The white skinned man laughed.
"I know how you feel – all over Facebook people are taking the piss, alright I don't have a nose but who cares" Rory half chuckled
"Yeah all I get is big nose jokes, doesn't help him – The Doctor always calling me the Nose" The Doctor looked at Amy.
"I thought it was funny" Amy shrugged as Potter and Malfoy laughed quietly. The Doctor got his sonic screwdriver out again and scanned around the white skinned man.
"That's your wand?" Malfoy said the Doctor frowned.
"This is a screwdriver" the Doctor said holding it up "I do have a wand – I am not showing you it though" Malfoy and Potter looked at each other then began laughing. They got disapproving looks off a black haired man who'd appeared from the shadows.
"Alright so introduce yourself?" The Doctor said smiling.
"Draco Malfoy" Malfoy said grinning
"The chosen one" Potter said "But people usually just call me Harry" the Doctor nodded again.
"Severus Snape – professor at Hogwarts School" The Doctor nodded and looked at the white skinned man.
"The Dark Lord, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, Tom Riddle or Voldermort, you take your pick" The Doctor almost chuckled
"Alright I'm the Doctor, the Nose is Rory and the Legs is Amy" they all nodded
"I don't mean to speak out of term but you are unbelievably gorgeous" Malfoy said, Amy blushed
"Thank you" Malfoy blushed then
"I wasn't talking about you – him" Rory pointed at his chest and half gawped.
"I knew it, I knew you were gay" The Doctor said, Malfoy frowned
"It's the hair Malfoy big give away" Harry said, Voldermort and Severus nodded
"He's right Draco" Malfoy sighed and shrugged slightly.
"Anyway can I get on with this killing?" The Doctor shook his head
"No, no you cannot" The Doctor said walking up to Voldermort and pointing his screwdriver at him, Voldermort looked at him then raised his wand. "Yours is bigger than mine" The Doctor said lamely
"Lets not go there" Voldermort said causing Malfoy and Harry to burst out laughing again.
"Boys" Amy said flatly, obviously annoyed about how much testosterone was currently around her and embarrassed about the mistake with Malfoy.
"Jeez doesn't she sound like Hermione" The Doctor looked at Harry with a confused expression.
Harry laughed and shook his head.
"Hermione? Your girlfriend?" Amy asked Harry who snorted
"No, for about five reasons, one I'm taken –" he winked at Malfoy "Two, she's with Ron – who'd not let me keep my testicles if I made a move on her, three she's Hermione! Four she would never go for me and Five... um"
"She'd slap you if you even tried, and believe me she hurts!" Malfoy said rubbing his cheek. Amy nodded in approval.
"I like her" The Doctor said. They all laughed as Voldermort sighed and sat on a nearby stone.
"Look all I want to do is kill Harry, I'll go then" The Doctor sighed
"No, look Voldy, killing is a addictive thing, you do it once you can't stop" Voldermort scowled him.
"Don't call me Voldy" he said standing and holding his wand to the Doctor's Adam apple, the Doctor gulped.
"Wand, wand I need a wand" he squealed quickly. Harry threw the Doctor his wand.
"Say, Expelliarmus" the Doctor nodded and held the wand to Voldermort.
"Expelliarmus" The Doctor squealed then flew backwards, Harry and Malfoy rolled their eyes
"Other way around Doctor" the Doctor murmured something..
"You with you white hair and you with your circle glasses oh shush" Rory and Amy laughed as Harry frowned.
"No need to mock the glasses" Malfoy smiled
"I think your glasses are sexy" Amy sighed
"Is there any man in here who is straight" the Doctor looked at Amy then flushed, Rory smiled at her as Voldermort and Snape exchanged a stare. Amy rolled her eyes as the TARDIS sounded like it was taking off.
"Oh no, no, no, no" the Doctor said running towards the TARDIS.
"I'm sorry we've got to go." Rory said as the Doctor ran out, they went to go into the TARDIS as the Doctor turned back around.
"Oh, Voldy" he took a few steps towards Voldermort. "Got your nose..."