-man: The nonsense speaker
Allen x Suicidal!Oc.
You have been warned. Sadness may occur.
Inspired by vocaloid song nonsense speaker by hatsune miku.
DISCLAMER: I DON'T OWN VOCALOID OR -MAN.
Let's begin.
"Inside my heart, my feelings stay,
But one by one, I'll kill them all.
The way I smile, throughout the days
Is just a mask to hide my tears."
I was in my bathroom after a mission with Allen and Lenalee. Allen was being a little flirty with Lenalee. I kept smiling, no matter what I must be happy for my friends, even if it tore me apart inside. The little knife I held was slit across my skin near my wrist. I watched as blood came down in a sluggish manner.
"I swallow the pain; the scars still grow,
It hurts, it hurts, but I won't tell.
For I knew along, that no one would,
ever, notice, my pain."
Kanda would always give me a confused look. I would always assure him I was fine. The scars and cuts kept growing every day. Some of the finders started to talk behind my back, but I'm pretty sure it was just my imagination. I was eating at the table with Lavi , who for once, was reading a giant book.
"Lavi! Yuki-Kun!" Allen and Lenalee called out to us. They plopped down next to us.
"Good morning Lenalee, allen." I said with a smile.
"Lenalee-chan your looking great today." Allen said with a smile. An invisible arrow went through my heart.
"I agree." I said with a smile. Lenalee gave us a smile back. Lavi gave me a knowing look. I finished my food and left to my room after saying bye to everyone.
"Your words you speak explicitly,
are like a poison, killing me.
I wonder if you'll ever see
My heart's been torn up silently?"
3rd person point of view.
"That idiot has no clue what those words do to yuki." Lavi thought a little angry. Kanda was giving the moyashi a death glare. He cared for the kid like a little sister. No one knew why though.
Allen and Lenalee continued talking as if nothing had happened. Lavi had noticed, lavi noticed the bloody bandages on Yuki's wrist.
"Yuu noticed it too, no wonder he's pissed at moyashi." Lavi thought. He gave a sigh and closed his book. He got up and went to the library. Allen gave Kanda a scared look when he noticed the tall Japanese teen give him the glare that promised his life would end.
Yuki p.o.v.
"My light is dimming, what a crime,
for it won't return, regardless of time.
If all I say is just a fib then I'm,
I'm a lie."
"You need to move that table in your room if you keep getting caught on it." The nurse matron said.
"Yeah I know. I'll make sure I move it soon, thank you for the bandages." I said leaving. My wrists were giving a dull sense of pain. My eyes had dark circles under them. I was passed by Komui who seemed surprised to see me this way.
"Yuki-chan are you okay?" Komui asked putting a hand on my shoulder. I smiled and gave him a nod. He released me and I made my way back up to my room. I was alone the whole day.
"During the day, I'm all alone,
You're gone, you're gone, but that's alright.
You leave me with, a message in my heart,
of the scars that will not ever heal."
Allen and Lenalee were out shopping. I looked out the window the dropped looked so inviting. But hell why should I kill myself over one guy? I closed the window. It took a couple hours but I meditated with my weapon innocence.
"Sode-no-sirayuki." I said to the pure white kantana that had a white ribbon flowing out of it.
"I guess I am useless most of the time huh?" I said as tears went down my face. It was dinner time when I came out of my room. It didn't look like I was crying at all. In fact I looked happy.
"Yuki-kun." Allen said. His voice was right next to my ear causing me to jump.
"Y-Yes? Whats up Allen?" I asked.
"Do you know why Bakanda's giving me death glares?" Allen asked me.
I gave small chuckle.
"I dunno." I said simply as I walked away. Allen gave me a smile and joined me in walking to the cafeteria for some dinner.
"Your face is showing a smile at me,
It's nothing new for my eyes to see.
To forgive you, that just can't be
For this is my hearts' final plea."
"I don't think I could ever forgive him if he ever figures out what he's doing to my mind and heart, but its mostly me that putting on the stress." I thought.
"It hurts inside." I mumbled. Opps I let that slide.
"Hmm?" Allen asked not having heard the exact words.
"I said I was hungry." I said sheepishly. Allen gave me a smile again.
"Your funny you know that?" Allen said chuckling.
"That's me a clown that only hides from the world." I thought sadly that fall from my window looking even more inviting. I laughed.
"I hear the words, "it hurts inside"
I wonder how I'd let that slide?
"I" feel like a "clown" who can only hide from the world,
Haha... haha..."
It was after dinner that I was standing on the railing from my window. A finder had come up to me and told me to cheer up. I had just blinked at him and told him I was fine. He called me a liar. My heart had skipped a beat. I smiled and sadly said that I was truly fine, I had then proceeded to walk to my room.
The wind billowed around me.
"At this
moment,
I left.
Liar.
How am I?
Liar.
How come?"
Even though no one had ever screamed their words at me it still started killing me silently. It started when I was a little kid and it still continued even at the black order. I had always cut myself, Kanda had gotten me to stop a few years ago before Allen came to the order. I began shortly after Allen came.
"The words you're screaming violently,
Their purpose only killing me.
Forgiving you I cannot see,
How can I even be me?"
I heard someone banging on my door.
"Yuki! Open up!" It was Allen. I gave a sigh and told him to go away. Sadly he's kinda hard headed. He kept banging on the door. I ignored him and jumped. I looked at the sky as I fell. I smiled a true smile.
"If this is want you really want,
Just end my life, end of this taunt.
For if all I say is a fib then I'm,
I'm a lie.
That's just that..."
"Crown belt." I heard someone say. I was pulled up by a white substance that held me gently but firmly. I was brought into an embrace. My half glazed over eyes looked at the person. Tears that weren't mine landed on my face.
"Please never do that again." The owner of the voice whispered into my hair.
"Allen?" I thought with curiosity. Allen brought his mouth crashing on mine. I kissed him back.
"You idiot." I said quietly after the kiss. Allen just smiled and held me close.
END.