Written in 1998, but never posted. One of the few fics from that era to survive the great spontaneous floppy disc erasure of 2001.
000
You left me.
I never expected that. You weren't supposed to leave me. You were always around, always there when I needed you, and when I didn't. Now you're gone. Not gone, exactly, but you might as well be.
Frozen. Lifeless. It's funny, all the times I wanted you to shut up and be quiet, and now here you are, quiet and still, and I don't like it at all.
I want to see you moving around, pacing, telling stupid jokes like you always did. I want to hear you talking non-stop about everything and nothing. There's so much I never got to know about you. And now there's so much I never will.
But there's something I did know. You never told me, but I knew. You loved me. You thought you were being cryptic, but you weren't. I knew. You loved me, and it scared me. I wanted to let myself love you back, but I couldn't. The trouble is, love doesn't take commands. It's a lot like you. So here I am, telling you this.
I did love you. I do love you.
Maybe one day Stephen can find a way to revive you. Or someone can. And then, maybe, we can talk about things. But for now I have to say good-bye. My ship is waiting. Until I see you again. If I do. But for now . . .
Good-bye, Marcus.