RE-INTRODUCING MYSELF: Shwmae my lovely Booshies. I used to be an avid Boosh fanfic writer and reader but it's been a seriously long time since I wrote Mighty Boosh fanfics! I'm afraid I've been out of the fandom a tragically long time. However, I had an idea and have been compelled to do a bit of a double dip back into the fandom. (Double Dips are unpopular around a dinner table, I'm hoping this will be more favourable).

PREAMBLE: So, I like my fairytales to have a classic feel. I've disliked this trend towards sisterly or motherly love being worthy of the idea of "true love" AND I went to see Noel Fielding yesterday (and so re-watched The Mighty Boosh until 4am). These two things combined have made me write this.

(Please excuse slow updates, my life is pretty busy.)

DISCLAIMER: I own some of the concept and virtually none of the characters. This is AU, but hopefully the characters will be en pointe- ish.

Enjoy….

Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away, there lived a kindly King. This King was benevolent and fair, and was loved by all the people of the land. They rejoiced in his celebrations; cheered when he married the beautiful Princess Grace, and partied in the streets when he announced that she would bear a child.

As her belly grew, so did the excitement around the kingdom. Queen Grace was so lovely and gentle. She had a dramatic beauty, ivory skin and ebony hair. The kingdom whispered that the King's child would be the most beautiful and the most loving of all the rulers.

But then the dreadful happened. On a dark and rainy night in Autumn, the Queen fell ill, and in illness began to bare the child. The king was worried to the point of pure fear, and the people kept a vigil around the castle. There chants and prayers could be heard from the Queen's chambers. Despite the will of his nation, the Queen gave life as she bore a daughter. A daughter whom the king named Grace.

The king's heart grew dark with the loss of his one true love. He declared a time of never-ending mourning in the kingdom, and – with the fear of losing another loved one – he kept his daughter close, never letting her out of his side.

::

Every year, on Grace's birthday, there were celebrations held at the palace. Trusted people were invited and they would enjoy a juggling and magic performance from the court jesters. The evening will culminate with display of jousting by the kingdom's most successful knights.

On her 7th birthday, Grace, a playful child, left her father's side in the royal box, and found herself with the brave knights in the horses' paddock.

'Do you think you will win?' she asked a knight, as she clambered up onto the fence to stroke the horses' noses.

'Well, hello, little lady,' the knight said, tipping his helmet towards the pretty young girl. 'You probably shouldn't be here. Your papa will worry.'

'He always worries,' the girl smiled. 'Do you think you will win, sir knight?'

'Do you want me to win, Princess?'

The young girl pondered for a moment, dark eyes squinting in thought before she decided that: 'yes, I would very much like you to win.'

'Then I shall win for you, your highness.'

'Thank you,' she beamed up at him. He smiled beneath his helmet, she really was the most enchanting child.

'You should return to your father now, Princess. He will be so frightened if he finds that you're missing.'

And then it happened. Some pranksters sensing a rare opportunity for fun in the Kingdom, released a dog into the paddock. The horses reared and bucked, their distress echoed around the court.

The king glanced to his daughter in the melee. She was gone.

'Grace!' he bellowed. 'Guards, find the princess.'

A horse backed into the fence and the princess fell into the paddock.

'Your highness,' the knight whispered, jumping the fence and lifting the little girl out of the mud and into his arms. She was small and weighed little more than a feather. The knight was able to duck and dive the horses' horror hooves. They stamped and charged. They leapt the fence. They crashed through it. They screamed. The knight continued to weave his way through the legs in an attempt to break for freedom.

And then came the pain. A pair of hooves right in the back. He heard the crack as his bones buckled under the impact. The knight flew through the air, the princess clasped in his arms. She screamed. The noise blended into the background of screeches. With his final breath, he twisted his body to comfort the princess as they landed in a neighbouring cobbled ground.

Princess Grace was quickly rescued from the knight's weakening grasp and taken into the castle. She watched from her room, as the guards and knights finally managed to calm the horses. It was the worst birthday she could remember. She'd cried all night. She cried for the horses who'd been shot. She cried for the knight who had died rescuing her and for the other casualties. She cried for the dog, which her father sentenced to death. She cried for the pranksters who received long dungeon sentences under her father's stern command. And she cried for her father, because she had never seen him that scared before.

::

The King, struggling to come to terms with the idea that he had almost lost his daughter called the greatest magician in the kingdom to his home.

'Naboo,' he addressed the small shaman. 'I need to know what the future holds.'

'I know you want to know the future,' the shaman said mysteriously. 'But do you really want to know?'

'Yes,' the king insisted.

'But do you really want to know?'

'Yes.'

'But do you really….?'

'Yes!' the king bellowed, his patience wearing thin. 'Listen to me Naboo, I have spent the past 7 years doing nothing but fearing for the safety of my daughter and today, I almost lost her despite my care. You must tell me our future, will she be happy? Will she go onto run my kingdom as I have?'

Naboo reached into his robes and pulled out his inflatable crystal ball. For the shaman who likes to travel and with all the kingdoms demanding his help, travel he did.

'I can see your future,' he warned. 'But you may not like what I see. And once you know the future, you can't un-know it.'

'Just answer the questions!' the king commanded. The young shaman jumped. The stress and depression of the last seven years had rendered the king impatient and quick-tempered.

'Of course,' he bowed his head, before evoking the power of his crystal ball. There was a flume of pink smoke and some specks of glitter. To the king, it was nothing, but Naboo could see through the mist and piece together solid facts about the future.

'The princess will be beautiful, smart and loved by all who meet her,' Naboo confirmed what the kingdom had always known. 'She will be happy, but she will not follow in your footsteps,' he warned. 'And the child will be your undoing. She will not follow in your footsteps, the child will be your undoing, she will not follow in your footsteps, the child will be your undoing.'

The king slapped the Shaman. He grinned his thanks.

'Sorry, I nearly got caught in a time loop.'

'You are certain that what you told me is the truth,' the King demanded. 'The child will be my undoing?'

'Yes, your majesty.'

The King thanked Naboo for his time and dismissed the Shaman. He had a lot of thinking to do. His daughter would be his own downfall. Over the months, he became twisted with the idea of betrayal. Every flower she brought him, every smile she flashed him felt like a stab in the back. He realised that his obsession with keeping his daughter safe had made him an unpopular king over the past seven years. The prophecy was already proving to be true.

So, he made a decision and chose to do something awful, something no father should be capable of doing. He banished his young daughter to a tower deep into the Dark Forest, where no man dared to tread. He built the tower without a door and chained a fierce dragon to guard her.

She would not escape. She would stay safe and protected in the tower, far from her father. There the princess stayed for many years. Tales of her story spread far and wide and many a prince tried to save her. All failed.

::

The years passed, the King grew old, he married again, and again. He became a father, and a grandfather. He became bitter and black of heart. He never called a halt to the period of mourning since his first wife had passed and the kingdom scarcely remembered a time when the king had been kind and true. They could not remember if he'd ever smiled.

The rumours of the princess in the tower grew. She will save us, the people whispered. The great shaman Naboo saw that the child will be the evil king's undoing.

The rumours were Bollo's fault. Naboo's familiar was a real gossip if you didn't watch him, but ever since the banana ban, Bollo had grown to hate the king. But hate the king, or not, no mortal had managed to scale the towers walls to rescue the princess.

Then, one day, the most unlikely of heroes stepped forth. He was an improbable man with a mighty moustache. He was the kingdoms leading jazz poet, and he decided that the pen and his intellect would be mightier than the sword. He believed he could succeed where all men before him had failed. He was Howard Moon (colon) Explorer, and he would rescue a pretty damsel in distress, sir, don't you mind your whiskers about that.

So that was some definite prologue-ing. Story will really get started in the next chapter. Reviews will be very kindly received, as will constructive criticism.

This story will contain Howince; lots of it.

Sisi...xx