War, for most women, became the destiny of one person.
.
The thick feel of death in the air, terrible and almost glamorous, had twined love so tight around Mary's soul that she knew she would now never be free from it.
.
The word fiancée tightened the rope around her heart. It didn't break.
.
The house filled up with soldiers, throwing Downton, like their lives before that, from silly, jolly garden parties into the death scented hospital wards. Sybil took hold of her life, she was left behind.
.
She woke up every day wondering if it'd be Matthew's last, clutching his letters to her heart, the ink soaking into her skin (Anna, blessed Anna, never asking about the stains in the morning). Polite letters, polite replies. Always your beloved cousin.
.
She never thought she could believe in God.
please God, bring him back.
Not to her, never to her. Miracles can't be selfish.
He left to never come back. He dreamed of Downton, in his restless nights. He lied, because he dreamed of her.
.
He forgot. She was an ideal, and Lavinia was real, Lavinia was sweet, Lavinia was the woman he went back to when he left France, it had been too long, Lavinia was here.
He told himself he couldn't marry her yet. He had to accept the uncertainty of his future, and if in one moment his life was gone - what of her? You've left behind a young widow, perhaps a child coming - it's selfish, and wrong. At the end of each day, when he wondered if it'd be his last night's sleep, he knew it wasn't true.
.
He had forgotten, he had moved on. Until the moment Mary barged back into his life, and sealed it with a toy and a chaste desperate kiss.
.
He wrote her letters. No darlings, always your beloved cousin.
He remembered the time when they were young, diffident, and very much in love.
.
He clutched the toy dog in his pocket. One last effort, and he'd be back.
(to her).
the end
A/N: the title comes from Elisa's "Love is Requited", soundtrack for this drabble. It's short and with no story, but I had dreamed of it and it asked me to be written. Reviews are always welcomed, even more when I'm in a angsty mood. I hope it was not too obvious.