Is It Love Or Hate?

(A:N) Real Summary: This tells how Itachi and Sasuke deal with their relationship in the prviacy of their own home and how it differes from their relationship in school. Itachi and Sasuke love each other when it's just the two of them, but other wise Itachi pushes Sasuke away and threat him like he hates him. He says it's because of their past and has a lot to do with their father's death but Sasuke can't understand why it has anything to do with them loving each other. He wants to be a normal couple. He wants the affection his friends share with their lovers but Itachi is trying to remain positive about their situation. Will Sasuke finally realize that what they have should remain his and his brother's secret?

Quick Note: Yes they do live with their mother, but she is never home. Only late at night and early in the morning.
Itachi: 18
Sasuke: 14

Warning: Yaoi and Violence.
Disclaimer: I don't own any Naruto characters.

ENJOY!

Chapter I
Taking Chances

Itachi woke up early in the morning to get ready for school. He walked into the bathroom and got in shower. When he was done he went to his room and got dressed. He walked over to his bed and saw that his little brother Sasuke was still sleeping, curled up in a ball. He loved to watch his little brother sleep, but they had to go to school. Itachi sat on the bed and kissed his little brother on his lips. Sasuke opened his eyes slowly.

"What is it Itachi?" Asked Sasuke still half asleep.

"It's time for school and you should get ready. I'll go see if mother left us some food, okay." Said Itachi.

"Alright." Said Sasuke. He got dressed and went down to the dining room where Itachi was already sitting at the table eating. Sasuke grabbed a plate and sat down next to his brother.

"Itachi, why is it that we're like this at home where our friends can't see us, but at school you're always mean? You never want anything to do with me." Said Sasuke.

"Why do you ask the same question every week when the answer is the same? I told you that I don't know why. It just happens." Said Itachi. He looked at Sasuke. 'You were too young to remember what happen, but I do. It was your fault. You kicked and screamed. You wanted to get away and it happened so fast. You'll learn one day Sasuke that it hurts to want something and it's not there anymore because someone takes it away from you.'

"Itachi, why are you staring at me like that? Did I do or say something wrong?" Asked Sasuke.

"No, I was thinking about the past again. We should get to school. I have things to do." Said Itachi getting his keys and going to the car.

Sasuke got in the car and the whole ride to school was quiet. Sasuke looked out the window and thought about last night. He was still a little sore, but didn't let it get to him. He couldn't stop thinking of why Itachi loved him at home, but in school Itachi hurt him, pushed him around and even acted like he wasn't there. Sasuke looked at his brother who was watching the road as they drove to school.

"Itachi, why do you act like this? It seems that you're mad at me or something. Please talk to me?" Asked Sasuke a little upset.

"..."

Sasuke knew he was going to do that. Itachi never talked to him in the car. He tried every morning ,but it was the same. God did Itachi piss him off sometimes.

"Why do you do this?! I hate it when we go to school! Just don't think I'm staying in your room tonight!" Yelled Sasuke and he turned to the window. Itachi looked at Sasuke and couldn't believe that he yelled at him. It was the first time Sasuke ever yelled at him. He didn't know that his brother was that worried about it, but still he couldn't let him know anything

'Sorry Sasuke I can't tell you. It took me forever to make you forget about that day.' Thought Itachi.

Itachi turned back to the road and went to school. When they finally got there. Sasuke got out of the car and started walking away, but Itachi grabbed his arm and pulled him back towards the car.

"Listen to me Sasuke. Don't you come up to me for anything, not even if you're dying. In school you stay away from me and don't you even look at me. I won't stop my friends from hurting you. When we get home I'll make it up to you Sasuke, but for now stay away from me or get hurt." Said Itachi.

"Whatever." Sasuke said with his head down. Itachi walked off towards the school, but as he walked away. He looked back at Sasuke who was walking to the school with his head down.

"Sorry Sasuke, but it was your fault that it happened and not only that, but it happened on a school night. He died because of you. Someday when you're ready. I'll tell you why I'm like this little brother.'

In homeroom, Sasuke saw Gaara sitting in the back of the classroom. He walked back slowly to Gaara. "Hey, Gaara." Was all Sasuke said as he sat down at his desk and put his head down.

"Let me guess; your brother put one of those 'Don't bother me in school' type of guilt trips on you again, right?" Asked Gaara.

"Yeah, I don't get it. It's always the same. When we're at home, he wants nothing more, but to hold me and make love to me, but when we get to school he hates me. I'm so confused. I don't know if he loves me or not. It upsets me sometimes." Said Sasuke.

"Well...maybe you need to talk to him. That's what me and Neji do when we get in a fight." Said Gaara.

"Yeah, but at least he still wants to be around you in school. Itachi doesn't and I do try and talk to him about it, he won't tell me anything." Sasuke looked up. "Naruto's coming so just shut up about it. I'll tell you later." Said Sasuke

Gaara and Naruto were Sasuke's two best friends. The only thing different about the way he treated them was that he told Gaara everything. Gaara knew everything about him and his brother's love life at home, but he could never tell Naruto because he had a big mouth. If the whole school found out Itachi would kill him.

"Hey guys. How are you?" Said Naruto.

"I'm good, but I don't want to be here. Kankurou and Temari want me and Neji to go with them after school to this thing, but I don't want to go. So me and Neji are getting out of here and going to his house an hour before school ends." Said Gaara.

"Cool! How are you Sasuke?" Asked Naruto.

"I'm fine...I just need to get out of my house for a while tonight. I don't want to go home with Itachi right after school. Since my dad died, I don't get out of the house...or should I say Itachi won't let me get out of the house." Said Sasuke.

"Why is your brother such an ass? It's like he's trying to keep you from the world and not let anyone have you." Said Naruto.

'Only if you knew Naruto.' Thought Sasuke. "Who knows. Itachi's been acting weird all this week." Lied Sasuke-or half lied since that was partially true.

"Well...you can come with me and Hinata. We're all going to the mall after school. Haku is driving me down there." Said Naruto.

"Okay...I'll come." Said Sasuke.

"Hey Itachi, why are you so quiet?" Asked Orochimaru.

"Nothing really. Just Sasuke is all." Said Itachi.

"Why? Is he still trying to find out why you do this to him everyday?" Asked Orochimaru.

"Yeah, he is. I tell him over and over, but he doesn't get it." Said Itachi.

"Well, what are you going to do tonight Itachi? I'm going to the mall. I need to go buy things to treat Kimimaro with." Said Orochimaru with a grin.

"I'm just going home. Sasuke needs me more." Said Itachi.

"Oh? That's funny. I heard him and Naruto talking about going to the mall after school today. He sounded like he didn't want to be around you." Said Sasori.

Orochimaru and Sasori were Itachi's two best friends. Itachi told Orochimaru everything about him and Sasuke and even why he acted like this in school. He would tell Sasori, but Sasori didn't care and probably wouldn't listen anyway. He only listened to what he wanted to hear.

"So Sasuke thinks I'll let him go." Said Itachi.

"Not really. He is just leaving. Him and Naruto are going with Haku." Said Sasori.

This pissed Itachi off. He couldn't believe that his brother was just going to do that. "Orochimaru, keep an eye on my brother. If he leaves with Naruto, pull him back into the school or somewhere I can find you. If he tries to run, beat him if you have to. That brat is going nowhere without me." Said Itachi.

"I'll make sure he don't leave." Said Orochimaru. All three sat in homeroom and waited for the bell to rang.

(Lunch)

Sasuke showed up to lunch early. He sat at the table with Gaara and Neji and waited for the others. About two minutes later, Naruto, Hinata, Haku, Lee and others come to sit down with them. Sasuke looked around the café to see if his brother was around. He had a bad feeling Itachi was mad that he wasn't going home with him.

After a little while, he stopped looking around. Sasuke knew he would see his brother sooner or later. He turned to Gaara and Neji. It upset him sometimes to see them so close together. It hurt him, to see them acting like lovers and not hating each other in school. He wanted to know why Itachi was being such an ass and doing this to him.

Naruto knew that Sasuke was upset about something, but didn't know why. Sasuke never told him much of anything about him and his brother. It felt like Sasuke was hiding something from him, but he didn't want to lose Sasuke as a friend so he didn't bother.

"Are you okay, Sasuke?" Asked Naruto.

"Yeah...I was just thinking about something, but don't worry I'm alright." Said Sasuke.

"You do seem like something is really bugging you, Sasuke." Said Haku.

Sasuke didn't know, but Haku had liked him since they were in grade school. Naruto was the only one that knew Haku loved Sasuke, but they never told him because of his brother. Everyone was afraid of Itachi and him being in the same building scared the shit out of everyone younger than him.

"I'm okay. I was just thinking of something, but it's not so bad that you guys have to worry about me." Said Sasuke a little more upset than usually.

"Alright." Haku let it drop right there. He didn't want to make Sasuke mad. "So Sasuke, I heard that you're coming with me and Naruto to the mall after school." Said Haku, loving the idea.

"Yeah, but do you think we can leave a little early? I don't want to run into my brother. He'll make me go home and I don't want to." Said Sasuke.

"Yeah. My last period is study hall, so I just won't go. Meet me at the front and I'll be right there." Said Haku.

"Me and Naruto have the same class so we'll meet you there." He stood. "I'm going to my next class." Said Sasuke. He walked out of the café with Gaara and Neji follow him. The only ones that were left were Haku and Naruto, who stayed behind to talk and finish their lunch.

"So did you tell him yet?" Asked Haku.

"No, I didn't because of the way he is acting. I don't understand it. It's like he is hiding something form me because him and Gaara were talking about something in homeroom but when I got there they stopped talking and changed the topic. It's weird, Haku. He seems like he's changing into someone else and I think that someone is his brother." Said Naruto.

"I hope not. We have one Itachi, we don't need another one. I'll stop Sasuke before that can happen." Said Haku. They were talking so much that they didn't know that Itachi and Sasori were behind them. Itachi stayed quiet to listen a little more, but then he stopped them.

"You two better not be thinking about taking my brother two the mall tonight. I won't allow it to happen." Said Itachi.

"Why can't you just let him have fun for one day Itachi? The poor kid never gets out of the house and you always seem to keep him on a leash or something." Said Naruto.

"Watch yourself Naruto. We aren't afraid to hurt you and your friends. That goes for Sasuke too." Said Sasori.

"Come on Sasori. I don't want to be here right now." Said Itachi. They walked off and went to their classes. The two boys at the table were too scared to move. Not because of what Itachi said, but because of Itachi himself. They knew they had to get Sasuke away from his brother tonight or at least until nine tonight.

(Roku: Sorry for going off track with Haku and Naruto but I need to put that stuff in here because it's going to cause problems later on in the story. See, Sasuke's friends think that his brother should not be around him, but they also don't know as much stuff as Gaara does. Anyways back with the story.)
(In Naruto and Sasuke's class.)

The boys were sitting in the classroom. They looked at each other and five minutes before school ended they went up to the teacher and asked if they could go to the office. After they were allowed to go Sasuke and Naruto ran down the halls to the front door where Haku was waiting for them.

"I thought you two weren't going to come but I guess Itachi didn't stop you." Said Haku.

"What do you mean by Itachi stopping us?" Asked Sasuke.

"Didn't you tell him about what happened after everyone one left us at lunch, Naruto?" Asked Haku.

"No, because I didn't want to worry you Sasuke. Your brother came up to us at lunch and said you weren't allow to go with us." Said Naruto.

"Who cares what he said. I just want to get out of here before he comes out or one of his friends sees me." Said Sasuke as he walked out the doors of the school with Naruto and Haku following him.

As they got to Haku's car Naruto got in the front with Haku and Sasuke got in the back. They pulled out of the school's parking lot and drove off towards the mall, but what they didn't know was that Orochimaru was watching them.

They got to the mall ten minutes later. They were walking around and looking for something to eat but then they ended up in the game room. When they got there Gaara, Neji and Lee were in there as well. Sasuke went over to Gaara and watched him play DDR. Gaara was known as the best DDR player there was.

After Gaara was done him and Sasuke went walking over to the pool table to watch Neji and Lee play against each other. Sasuke and Gaara were talking about things that happened earlier. To them, Itachi seemed to be in one of his moods where he wasn't having a good day.

"I heard from Naruto that after we left the lunchroom he went up to Haku and Naruto and told them not to bring me here, but I don't care. It's my own life, right? I can do whatever I want and he can't tell me what to do." Said Sasuke.

"Yeah, but Itachi is the meanest guy in our school. No one fucks with him." Said Gaara.

"I know, but he knows better then to go after my friends outside of the school. He knows that I won't let him near me tonight, but I even told him that if I didn't get answers soon that I wasn't going to sleep in his room tonight." Said Sasuke.

"You shouldn't until he starts telling you things. If he loves you that much at home, then why doesn't he love you the same way at school? It messes up relationships if lovers do that to each other. It took me and Neji a while to get together because people were starting shit with us and Neji didn't want anything to do with me." Gaara paused. "He hated that more then anything in the world. "Did something happen in your past?" Asked Gaara.

"No...well I'm not sure. Even if something did happen I don't remember it. It's like someone took away my memory from when I was younger. And Itachi's always been trying to get me to stay home. He acts like he is trying to save me from something, but I don't know what." Said Sasuke.

"Well...every kid in the school has files on them. Maybe I can talk to Temari or someone that work in the office." Said Gaara.

"Okay, thanks…and don't you work in the office too, Gaara?" Asked Sasuke.

"Yeah, I do. So stop in tomorrow at 10am. I'll be in there. Then I can look through your files." Said Gaara.

"I can't come down. You just have to find it yourself and then tell me okay." Said Sasuke.

"Okay, but it might take a little while." Said Gaara.

"I don't care. I just want to know what's going on with my life and why Itachi is so weird during school Please Gaara, help me." Begged Sasuke.

"Okay, I will, but I need time okay." Said Gaara.

"Alright, well I have to find Naruto and Haku. It's already eight and I'll get in trouble with Itachi if I'm not home by 9." Said Sasuke.

"Okay, later Sasuke." Said Gaara.

Sasuke walked through the game room and found Naruto and Haku. He pulled both of them to the side and told them that he needed to get home before 9. They all went to the car and got in. Haku was taking the back roads so Sasuke wouldn't be late. By the time it was 8:50, Sasuke was in his driveway. He got out of the car and waved bye to Haku and Naruto. He was hopping that Itachi wasn't too mad at him for wanting to hang out with his friends like their mom and dad used to let them.

When he got to his room he laid on his bed and thought about what Gaara had told him. 'Gaara is right. Something happened in our family along time ago, but I don't remember it because someone made me forget about it. I wonder if Itachi is doing this so I don't think of it. It's so weird. At home he is the brother I always knew, but at school he is someone ever I fear. What is going on in this family? If Itachi doesn't stop this shit soon. I'm going to find another boyfriend who does love me.' Sasuke was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't know Itachi was in his room until he spoke.

"Sasuke, what did I tell you? It's not right to just leave school without telling me." Said Itachi, sitting on Sasuke's bed.

"What do you care? You told me this morning not to come up to you now look what happens. You do this every day and every night to me. Why are you doing this Itachi?" Asked Sasuke about to freak out again.

"You have to understand why I'm doing this. The pain of the past will only hurt you. I'm not losing anyone else in this family. Even if it means I have to keep you locked up in my bedroom." Said Itachi.

"Why don't you just tell me what happened?" Asked Sasuke.

"I told you. It's not good at all. I'll tell you when I think it's the good time. Now come on, lets get some sleep." Said Itachi walking out of the room.

"No, I'm not leaving my room, Itachi." Said Sasuke.

"Have it your way then." With that Itachi came back in the room and picked Sasuke up and carried him to his room. "I told you that you are staying with me Sasuke." Said Itachi again.

"..."

"Good, I'll let you go for tonight, but you owe me Sasuke." Said Itachi.

"…"

Itachi put his arm around Sasuke and pulled Sasuke close to him. "I love you, Sasuke, but don't take it wrong the way. I treat you differently in school because I love you." Said Itachi.

"But why? Why do you do it Itachi? I feel so alone. Seeing Gaara and Neji having each other and hold each other. It's upsetting. I mean I want someone to be there just like that. This is not meant to get you mad, but I do love someone else. It's Haku, he's sweet and caring. I wanted to ask him out so bad, but this whole thing with you is confusing." Said Sasuke.

"So in other words, I'm not good enough for you." Said Itachi.

"No! Nothing like that. I just said what I wanted to do, but I have you and I'm not giving it up yet." Said Sasuke.

"I'm glad to hear that Sasuke. I know I'm the lover that I should be but I can make it up to you." Itachi said, then kissed him.

Sasuke rolled over on his back and Itachi got on top of him. They started to making out, and it just kept getting better and better.

Itachi then moved down to the boy's neck. He started sucking and biting on Sasuke smooth skin. Sasuke was trying to hold a moan in, but it didn't work as he felt Itachi's hands in his pants. Sasuke let the moan escape from his month. Itachi moved his hands from Sasuke's pants up to his shirt and took it off. Sasuke took his brother's shirt off as well.

Itachi started to undo Sasuke's pants and his own. They threw all their clothes on the floor and now their naked bodies were touching each other. Itachi moved and started grinding their hips together. Another moan came form Sasuke. Itachi loved that Sasuke was moving with him. He proceeded to giving Sasuke's neck some attention again. Then him moved lower.

Another moan came from Sasuke's month. He looked at Itachi and smiles. Itachi liked the smile and moved down even lower. Sasuke started breathing hard as Itachi got lower and lower. Itachi could tell that Sasuke was getting hard. He grabbed Sasuke and the kid yelped when he started pumping him.

Sasuke grabbed Itachi's hair and pulled the older boy's face close to his. Then they started making out again. Sasuke couldn't help but scream Itachi's name after he spilled. Itachi then let Sasuke go and sat up on his knees. He then reached for his nightstand and grabbed the lube to rub it on himself. Then he put is hands on Sasuke's hips and lighting picked the boy's hips up.

Sasuke could feel something at his entrance. With one quick move, Itachi thrust into Sasuke, causing the boy to arch him back. Itachi moved to push farther until he saw the boy's eyes widen. Now that he knew where it was, Itachi pulled out and thrust back in hitting the spot again causing Sasuke to bit his lip in an attempt not to scream again. Itachi did it again and the more he did it the harder he thrusted in. Sasuke arched his back again. It hurt like hell, but felt good to him.

Itachi didn't stop until he spilled inside of Sasuke and pulled out. They were both out of breath. Itachi pulled Sasuke's naked body over to him and held Sasuke close to his chest as he put the blanket over him and Sasuke.

"I told you that I was going to make it up to you, Sasuke." Said Itachi.

"I know." Sasuke said between heave breath.

"You know that when the time is right. I will tell you everything that you need to know about our past and our father's death." Said Itachi.

"But you always told me not to talk about the past. You said it's the only way to protect me and keep me safe." Said Sasuke.

"Yes, I did tell you that, but when I know it's the right time to tell you I will. Until then the answers will be the same I give you every time, Sasuke." Said Itachi.

"Is why you're always like that? You don't want me to know about the past or how father died. Right brother?" Asked Sasuke.

"Yes that's why. Now we have school tomorrow. Get some sleep so you're not tired." Said Itachi.

"Alright, but I was wondering if I could get some clothes on first?" Asked Sasuke. Itachi let him get out of the bed. Sasuke ran to his room to get something to put on. After ten minutes, he came back in and saw that Itachi was still awake.

"What is it, Itachi?" Asked Sasuke.

"Nothing. I was just waiting for you to get back." Said Itachi with a sweet smile. The same smile that Sasuke fell in love with.

Sasuke got dressed and got in the bed with Itachi. Once again, Itachi pulled the covers up and Sasuke laid down right next to his brother. He put his head on Itachi's chest as he curled up to a little ball using his brother as a pillow.

"Itachi, can I ask you something?" Asked Sasuke.

"What is it, Sasuke?" Asked Itachi.

"Why did you get mad at Haku and Naruto? I mean all they wanted was to take me to the mall and have a good time." Said Sasuke.

"I know, but I've been planning this the whole day. I understand you need to do more than be trapped in the house all day. How about this Sasuke? Once a week you can do whatever you want and I won't get mad at you, but you're not to talk to me in school. It's bad that my friends know you're my little brother." Said Itachi.

"So you don't want to be around me because of the people that don't like you?" Asked Sasuke.

"Yes, that's the reason." lied Itachi.

"Okay, well I'm tired out. I'm going to sleep, Itachi. I love you." Sasuke said with a kiss after.

"Goodnight, Sasuke. I love you too." Said Itachi then kissed Sasuke on the top of his head.

Itachi watched as Sasuke. He loved that Sasuke felt safe with him and all that other stuff brothers and lovers share. 'If only you knew the truth Sasuke, but the way father died would haunt you for the rest of your life and I don't want that happen to you Sasuke. Please understand me, the past will be too hard on you and will drive you to your death, if you're not ready for it. It's good that father is gone because if he would be here right now we would be getting pulled apart and beaten for loving each other like this. But don't worry, I'm here and I'll always be here for you little brother. I love you with all my heart and soul. If anyone tried to take you from me. I'll hurt them, kill them if I have to. That's a promise to myself. If someone takes you away or pulls us apart outside of school…I will hurt them.'

After a little while Itachi snapped out of his thoughts and looked down at his little brother who was asleep. Itachi kissed Sasuke's forehead and then rested his chin on the top of Sasuke's head. He fell asleep soon after, still thinking.

END OF CHAPTER

I hope you guys like this story. I've been working on this chapter since last Friday. It's different and I really like it. I found it really hard to write this chapter and maybe the ones after and with me starting a job Wednesday. It might take me a while to update this story but I do have off Sunday through Tuesday so I'll work on this as much as I can. I'll give details about their father later on.

Please review everyone. Tell me what you think about this story.