Hey everybody! I got this little idea from watching the last conversation between Jude and Tommy on Friday. I was a little upset with Tommy for calling Jude a kid and I'm sure it'll show with this one shot. I hope you all like it.

R and R please.

Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star.

"What do you know, you're just a kid?" Tommy asked staring at me like I didn't know anything.

I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I couldn't believe he could stand there and call me a kid. No, just a kid. Like I'm nothing but that. He's known me for two years and he thinks of me like a kid.

"How can you say that?" I asked softly the hurt shining through my eyes. I had never been very good at disguising my emotions from Tommy.

"Because you are," he said looking slightly confused now.

"I haven't been a kid since my 16th birthday Tommy," I said coldly. I watched as he took a step back, surprised by the tone of my voice. I had never talked to him like this and I think I was finally surprising Tommy for once. "I haven't been a kid since I got my heart broken by every man in my life."

"Jude-" Tommy started to say.

"No," I interrupted him. "I haven't been a kid since the first guy I loved showed up at my birthday party and decided to dump me in front of everybody for the one person I truly hate. He broke my heart that night. It was a clean break but I got over it pretty quickly." I paced away and smirked when I turned my head back so I was facing him again. "You see, there's this other guy, that same night, made all my wishes come true. He changed me that night but then he too broke my heart. It wasn't a clean break though, it was messy and I thought for awhile I was broken. I didn't get over that one quickly."

I walked over to the sound board and leaned against it and crossed my hands over my chest. "I haven't been a kid since I walked in on my Dad cheating on my Mom on our living room couch. He then pleaded with me to keep it a secret and I did…not for long, barely a day but I have to live with the fact that I kept that from my Mom. I had to look her in the eye and lie."

"Jude I'm sorry-" Tommy started again but I interrupted him once again.

"I'm pretty sure that's why I don't blame her for leaving us too," I said softly not even acknowledging him anymore. "I don't think I could live with me either knowing that I did that. She always said I was like my father…maybe she's right."

I cleared my throat before continuing. "I haven't been a kid since I had to compromise everything I stand for and become Darius's Instant Star. I have done more things for that man that shames me as an artist. But you told me that sometimes you have to do things to stay in the game. So I did them. But I regret it every chance I get."

I paced away again, to agitated to sit still. "I haven't been a kid since the guy I've care about chose my sister. I had to watch them together and know that once again my sister got the guy. I shouldn't have been surprised, when Sadie wants something, she gets it. But I was surprised he fell for it." I glared at him as I added, "I had to pick up the pieces after he broke my sister's heart even thought I was jumping up and down on the inside because maybe, finally, I would get my chance. But who am I kidding…I'm just a kid, right?"

I could see him getting ready to try and talk again and I pushed on forward. I had to get all this out because once he started talking, I'd drop it. I'd push it to the back of my mind like all the rest of the things he says or does that makes me mad and forget about it. I'd lock it away and I was done doing that.

"I haven't been a kid since I got my dream handed to me on a platter only to have him walk away from me like I was nothing," I said tears now beginning to slide down my face. "I chased him down a busy road screaming his name and he didn't even look back." I closed my eyes as I wiped away the tears ashamed that I let him see me cry. "Do you know that every time I look in the mirror I have to ask myself why all the guys in my life find it so easy to walk away from me?"

"Jude," Tommy said his voice cracking.

"My Dad chose his mistress and left behind his family," I said my voice trembling. "Shay chose Eden, you chose Sadie and Jamie chose his career. I've never been enough for anybody."

I turned away because I couldn't look at him right now. Look at the pity I knew was shining in his eyes. I had never admitted any of this to anybody and here I go, telling the one person I probably should have made sure never found out about my insecurities.

"I haven't been a kid since I got drunk one night in Barry and had some 'reporter' take pictures of me while I was passed out," I said bitterly. "I've probably dealt with more things in the past two years than some people have to deal with in ten years. So the next time you call me a kid Tommy, please take everything I just said into consideration. Because if there's one thing I'm definitely not, is a kid."

The silence was deafening. I could hear my own heart beat racing and I wanted to scream because I knew he could hear it too. He just stood there, silently, staring at me making my heart beat even faster.

"Jude," Tommy said softly. "You're just seventeen."

I knew he wasn't ignoring everything I just said. I knew he was taking it all in but having him throw that in my face was just…so Tommy.

"Yep, I am," I said turning around to face him. "But that's just a number. Doesn't mean anything. In a couple weeks I'll be eighteen but you know what…that doesn't mean anything either. Because I'm still going to be the same person I am today. Nothings going to change the fact that I lost every kid like trait I had years ago. But you keep saying that in your head Tommy. Keep reminding yourself that I'm 17."

I walked towards the door but I had to say one last thing. "I'm not a kid Tommy and some day you are going to wake up and realize that. I just hope that I haven't given up on you by then."

I walked out of the studio, shutting the door quietly behind me. I couldn't say I wasn't a kid and slam the door. It was high time I stopped throwing tantrums and started acting like the adult I knew I was.

I was only steps away from the door but it was too far to hear Tommy say, "Me too."