Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy or its characters. If I did, I'd be rich... and would definitely have better things to do than write this fanfiction. Seeing as how I *am* writing this fanfiction, then I will assume you're smart enough to realize that I am indeed not rich, but rather the opposite, that opposite being poor. Now, I can see how suing a rich plagiarist would be beneficial; however, suing the likes of me will only waste your tee time plus court costs. Besides, I'm not out for personal gain. I just want to write. Is that too much to ask? Really? I think not. This concludes a very long disclaimer. On with the story!
Note: This takes place after Shadow joins your party permanently, but before the fight with Kefka.
"In this world are many like me who've killed their emotions. Don't forget that." -Shadow
Shadow Dreams
by The Incredible Dancing Quatre
"Clyde... Clyde! Come back here, you coward! Grant a dieing man his last wish and finish me off right now!" Baram grasped his side in agony as he lay writhing on the ground near the bed of the river. Clyde could only stare at his best friend and partner while tears streamed down his weathered face. Clyde clutched his knife tightly, but the sweat from his hands made the grip slippery in his hand. His hand was trembling at the very idea of what he might have to do.
"Baram, I'm sorry. I can't do it," was all Clyde said in reply before he spun himself around and fled as fast as his legs could carry him. 'How could I end the life of the only person I've ever cared about and trusted?' he thought. 'I know. Because I'm weak.'
"Oh, you're weak, all right, Clyde." All of a sudden, Baram was standing tall in front of Clyde causing him to halt in his tracks. Baram stared icily at his friend, all the while twirling his own pocketknife. He strode confidently over to Clyde and leaned into his ear. "Do you know what happens to weak people, Clyde?" Clyde only looked vacantly toward the horizon, although his eyebrow was twitching a bit. A tear ran down his face, and he held his breath in anticipation of Baram's next move. "Weak people have to die!" Baram screamed as he plunged his knife deep into Clyde's soft belly. The steel made is insides become hot, and blood stained the grass beneath them.
"Baram, I'm sorry..." Clyde said again before his body collapsed limply on the hard Earth. Baram just stood over his partner and started cackling almost maniacally. "Baram..."
"Baram!" Shadow yelled as he startled himself awake. He had to sit up in his tent for a moment to control his heavy breathing. A look of panic shown in Shadow's brilliant brown eyes, the same eyes he kept hidden from the world. He shook his head. The nightmares were becoming more and more abstract. It was hard to tell where his memories ended and his subconscious took over. Of course, Baram never killed him, but that doesn't change the fact that Shadow let his partner down. 'Baram, my friend, my brother, why do you continue to haunt me after all these years?' he thought. 'It's bad enough that you left me, but do you have to hate me as well? I was weak, then. With you gone, there's nobody to which I can turn. There's nobody to trust. All I have are the two friends who have never let me down. Interceptor, of course, is always by my side. That's why I was never a cat person. I value loyalty over all else. Aside from Interceptor, the only thing I can rely on is money. Money never complains. It can't spoil or die. It's there when you need it. I love money. But... I can't trust people anymore. That's why I have to wear this mask, Baram. The mask is my shield from human relationships, from human emotions, and from human problems. Human relationships hurt too much. That is why... I must hide.' Shadow's thought process had already caused him to become more awake, and he could already feel the early symptoms of insomnia setting. 'No way I can go back to sleep now. I think I'll step outside.' He wiped the cold sweat from his brow, and reached for his black mask next to his pillow.
After putting on the mask and stepping out of his tent, he noticed other people were up at this late hour as well. Perhaps if he talked for a little while, he would get his mind off things and be able to sleep the remainder of the night. He took a quick survey of his options. Cyan was sitting near the fire. Cyan... is a bit too polite for his own good. If he weren't so uptight, he might be worth talking to. Setzer was lounging under a tree. Talking to Setzer was definitely a bad idea, because the conversation always somehow lead to Shadow gambling all of his money away. Imagine, someone who can steal money from a thief. Celes and Locke were too busy making kissy faces at each other to care about what Shadow had to say and vice versa. Little Relm was asleep while Interceptor laid on top of her to keep her warm. Gogo was sitting on a log just admiring the view. 'Gogo...' Shadow realized that he hadn't really gotten to know Gogo yet, but certainly they must have something in common. After all, he feels the need to hide his face, too. There might be someone in this ragtag group who understood him after all. So, Shadow made his way over to Gogo, making sure not to wake up Relm and Interceptor along the way, and sat himself on the log a few feet away from the flamboyant-looking mime.
"Good evening, Shadow," greeted Gogo without turning to look at his new companion in the face. "The stars are pretty, aren't they?" Gogo sat in contentment just gazing into the heavens. Shadow hated petty small talk. It was just so stupid and trivial. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. He scratched the back of his mask, groping for something to say back to him. After straining himself for a moment, Shadow finally spoke.
"So... you wear a mask, too, huh?" Shadow winced at how rusty his social skills were. 'Ugh, what a stupid thing to say,' he thought as he mentally slapped himself. Still, he was anxious to hear Gogo's response as long as the question was already thrown out into the open, if you could call that a question, that is. Gogo broke his content reverie of the celestial bodies above and instead shifted his eyes over to the dark assassin.
"Yes, that's right. I've found that in order to perfect the art of simulacrum and imitation, one must lose their own individuality to an extent. That way, the transgression into someone else feels more natural. So, I keep my face hidden."
"I see..." A look of disappointment quickly spread across Shadow's face. 'So, he wears it to perfect his abilities, not for personal reasons. I should've figured.' Even though Shadow's black mask covered his features, Gogo could easily sense that he had not given an acceptable answer to Shadow's query.
"Well, actually, that's not the only reason," Gogo spouted with much reluctance in his voice. Shadow's attention, too, was piqued, and now he turned to face his masked comrade. "You see, a long time ago, I lost someone very close to me. On some level, I know it wasn't really my fault, but I've always blamed myself. I know that somewhere, he must be watching down on me, so I have to hide my face in shame. I won't be able to take it off until I atone for my mistakes." Shadow was astonished. If it weren't for Gogo's bright colors, he could swear he was looking into a mirror.
"I lost someone, too," Shadow was able to muster. "I couldn't even grant him his dieing wish. It's all because I was too weak. Emotions only cloud your judgment, so I tore myself away from the human world. I've lived for years off of superficial pleasures like money. I want to believe I've found a new life for myself, but I still have to wear my mask as a reminder of him." Gogo seemed a little flustered that Shadow was actually bearing his soul like this. It was quite unusual behavior for him, but he just looked at his friend and smiled. Though, you couldn't see it.
"Well, let me ask you something, then." Gogo had a sort of smugness in his tone now. "If you want to separate yourself from humanity, then what are you doing here with all of these people? Do you want to get back at Kefka? Or is there some other reason?" Shadow should've seen the question coming, but he still felt a bit uncomfortable that Gogo was trying to pry further into his psyche.
"I'm just returning a favor. That's all. They did save my life after all." Shadow started to relax a little, but Gogo was coaxing him with his eyes to elaborate a little more. Reluctantly, he continued. "I mean, I never really did anything special for them, and yet, they risked their lives to wait for me on the Floating Continent. Besides, if I help them destroy Kefka, I might be in a history book someday." Shadow was getting a little cocky now. "So, Gogo, why are you tagging along?" It seemed like a reasonable question. After all, he was asked the same.
"Oh, me? Well, this group of people fascinates me. I can learn a lot of techniques from studying their moves, too. Also, if anything will make up for my sin, I think saving the world might qualify. Don't you think?" They both chuckled a little at Gogo's last comment. Shadow startled himself, too, for it had been ages since he could remember laughing.
"Hey, guys!" Locke called over from the fire. "Either of you want a hamburger?"
Gogo rolled his eyes at his comrade's naivety. Surely, his shouting would wake up Relm. So, he just politely shook his head. Shadow, on the other hand, was feeling quite hungry and up for a midnight snack. He started to get up and head toward Locke when he realized that his newfound friend was not joining him. He looked a little forlorn and unsure if he wanted to part just as they were starting to get to know each other. Still, he decided to get up and have his meal. "I'm going to eat in my tent" is all he said as he turned away from his friend.
"Very well. Goodnight, Shadow." Shadow started to walk away, when Gogo boasted one more comment before the masked assassin was out of sight. "Wherever your friend is, I'm sure he doesn't hate you." Shadow heard the remark and smiled at it. There was something Shadow sensed about Gogo after their brief conversation, something kindred. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but his growling stomach got the better of him. He walked over to Locke without looking back.
Gogo watched as his friend grabbed his juicy burger and walked back to his tent. He stood up for a moment and rubbed his mask. 'Hmm, it's getting itchy. I had better take it off. I hope nobody's looking.' he thought as he easily removed the yellow cover on his head. He rubbed his hand through his dirty-looking hair while continuing to look in the direction of Shadow's tent.
'Clyde, what the Hell are you doing? Ha, saving the world indeed. I could beat the living stuffing out of you all those years ago if I wanted, and now you think you're strong enough to beat Kefka? Well, I've been training, too. Now, I can finally watch over you and protect you, my brother, but you've done something I wasn't expecting. You've made new friends. They can probably protect you a lot better than I ever could. You want to know why I wear this mask, Clyde? Because it's time for you to move on. Forget about me. You've got so much to live for, now.' Gogo stopped his thought process when he realized he still had his mask off. He quickly put it back over his head. Fortunately, everyone else around the camp wasn't watching him. He decided to sit back down on the log, and he gazed up at the sky. "Those stars sure are pretty."
From that night on, Shadow stopped having the nightmares about his long lost friend, Baram. Instead, he slept like an angel every night.
From the author: Well, this is my first Final Fantasy fic. I hope you enjoyed it. Please, be a kind reader and review. I'm insecure, and I need feedback!
Note: This takes place after Shadow joins your party permanently, but before the fight with Kefka.
"In this world are many like me who've killed their emotions. Don't forget that." -Shadow
Shadow Dreams
by The Incredible Dancing Quatre
"Clyde... Clyde! Come back here, you coward! Grant a dieing man his last wish and finish me off right now!" Baram grasped his side in agony as he lay writhing on the ground near the bed of the river. Clyde could only stare at his best friend and partner while tears streamed down his weathered face. Clyde clutched his knife tightly, but the sweat from his hands made the grip slippery in his hand. His hand was trembling at the very idea of what he might have to do.
"Baram, I'm sorry. I can't do it," was all Clyde said in reply before he spun himself around and fled as fast as his legs could carry him. 'How could I end the life of the only person I've ever cared about and trusted?' he thought. 'I know. Because I'm weak.'
"Oh, you're weak, all right, Clyde." All of a sudden, Baram was standing tall in front of Clyde causing him to halt in his tracks. Baram stared icily at his friend, all the while twirling his own pocketknife. He strode confidently over to Clyde and leaned into his ear. "Do you know what happens to weak people, Clyde?" Clyde only looked vacantly toward the horizon, although his eyebrow was twitching a bit. A tear ran down his face, and he held his breath in anticipation of Baram's next move. "Weak people have to die!" Baram screamed as he plunged his knife deep into Clyde's soft belly. The steel made is insides become hot, and blood stained the grass beneath them.
"Baram, I'm sorry..." Clyde said again before his body collapsed limply on the hard Earth. Baram just stood over his partner and started cackling almost maniacally. "Baram..."
"Baram!" Shadow yelled as he startled himself awake. He had to sit up in his tent for a moment to control his heavy breathing. A look of panic shown in Shadow's brilliant brown eyes, the same eyes he kept hidden from the world. He shook his head. The nightmares were becoming more and more abstract. It was hard to tell where his memories ended and his subconscious took over. Of course, Baram never killed him, but that doesn't change the fact that Shadow let his partner down. 'Baram, my friend, my brother, why do you continue to haunt me after all these years?' he thought. 'It's bad enough that you left me, but do you have to hate me as well? I was weak, then. With you gone, there's nobody to which I can turn. There's nobody to trust. All I have are the two friends who have never let me down. Interceptor, of course, is always by my side. That's why I was never a cat person. I value loyalty over all else. Aside from Interceptor, the only thing I can rely on is money. Money never complains. It can't spoil or die. It's there when you need it. I love money. But... I can't trust people anymore. That's why I have to wear this mask, Baram. The mask is my shield from human relationships, from human emotions, and from human problems. Human relationships hurt too much. That is why... I must hide.' Shadow's thought process had already caused him to become more awake, and he could already feel the early symptoms of insomnia setting. 'No way I can go back to sleep now. I think I'll step outside.' He wiped the cold sweat from his brow, and reached for his black mask next to his pillow.
After putting on the mask and stepping out of his tent, he noticed other people were up at this late hour as well. Perhaps if he talked for a little while, he would get his mind off things and be able to sleep the remainder of the night. He took a quick survey of his options. Cyan was sitting near the fire. Cyan... is a bit too polite for his own good. If he weren't so uptight, he might be worth talking to. Setzer was lounging under a tree. Talking to Setzer was definitely a bad idea, because the conversation always somehow lead to Shadow gambling all of his money away. Imagine, someone who can steal money from a thief. Celes and Locke were too busy making kissy faces at each other to care about what Shadow had to say and vice versa. Little Relm was asleep while Interceptor laid on top of her to keep her warm. Gogo was sitting on a log just admiring the view. 'Gogo...' Shadow realized that he hadn't really gotten to know Gogo yet, but certainly they must have something in common. After all, he feels the need to hide his face, too. There might be someone in this ragtag group who understood him after all. So, Shadow made his way over to Gogo, making sure not to wake up Relm and Interceptor along the way, and sat himself on the log a few feet away from the flamboyant-looking mime.
"Good evening, Shadow," greeted Gogo without turning to look at his new companion in the face. "The stars are pretty, aren't they?" Gogo sat in contentment just gazing into the heavens. Shadow hated petty small talk. It was just so stupid and trivial. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. He scratched the back of his mask, groping for something to say back to him. After straining himself for a moment, Shadow finally spoke.
"So... you wear a mask, too, huh?" Shadow winced at how rusty his social skills were. 'Ugh, what a stupid thing to say,' he thought as he mentally slapped himself. Still, he was anxious to hear Gogo's response as long as the question was already thrown out into the open, if you could call that a question, that is. Gogo broke his content reverie of the celestial bodies above and instead shifted his eyes over to the dark assassin.
"Yes, that's right. I've found that in order to perfect the art of simulacrum and imitation, one must lose their own individuality to an extent. That way, the transgression into someone else feels more natural. So, I keep my face hidden."
"I see..." A look of disappointment quickly spread across Shadow's face. 'So, he wears it to perfect his abilities, not for personal reasons. I should've figured.' Even though Shadow's black mask covered his features, Gogo could easily sense that he had not given an acceptable answer to Shadow's query.
"Well, actually, that's not the only reason," Gogo spouted with much reluctance in his voice. Shadow's attention, too, was piqued, and now he turned to face his masked comrade. "You see, a long time ago, I lost someone very close to me. On some level, I know it wasn't really my fault, but I've always blamed myself. I know that somewhere, he must be watching down on me, so I have to hide my face in shame. I won't be able to take it off until I atone for my mistakes." Shadow was astonished. If it weren't for Gogo's bright colors, he could swear he was looking into a mirror.
"I lost someone, too," Shadow was able to muster. "I couldn't even grant him his dieing wish. It's all because I was too weak. Emotions only cloud your judgment, so I tore myself away from the human world. I've lived for years off of superficial pleasures like money. I want to believe I've found a new life for myself, but I still have to wear my mask as a reminder of him." Gogo seemed a little flustered that Shadow was actually bearing his soul like this. It was quite unusual behavior for him, but he just looked at his friend and smiled. Though, you couldn't see it.
"Well, let me ask you something, then." Gogo had a sort of smugness in his tone now. "If you want to separate yourself from humanity, then what are you doing here with all of these people? Do you want to get back at Kefka? Or is there some other reason?" Shadow should've seen the question coming, but he still felt a bit uncomfortable that Gogo was trying to pry further into his psyche.
"I'm just returning a favor. That's all. They did save my life after all." Shadow started to relax a little, but Gogo was coaxing him with his eyes to elaborate a little more. Reluctantly, he continued. "I mean, I never really did anything special for them, and yet, they risked their lives to wait for me on the Floating Continent. Besides, if I help them destroy Kefka, I might be in a history book someday." Shadow was getting a little cocky now. "So, Gogo, why are you tagging along?" It seemed like a reasonable question. After all, he was asked the same.
"Oh, me? Well, this group of people fascinates me. I can learn a lot of techniques from studying their moves, too. Also, if anything will make up for my sin, I think saving the world might qualify. Don't you think?" They both chuckled a little at Gogo's last comment. Shadow startled himself, too, for it had been ages since he could remember laughing.
"Hey, guys!" Locke called over from the fire. "Either of you want a hamburger?"
Gogo rolled his eyes at his comrade's naivety. Surely, his shouting would wake up Relm. So, he just politely shook his head. Shadow, on the other hand, was feeling quite hungry and up for a midnight snack. He started to get up and head toward Locke when he realized that his newfound friend was not joining him. He looked a little forlorn and unsure if he wanted to part just as they were starting to get to know each other. Still, he decided to get up and have his meal. "I'm going to eat in my tent" is all he said as he turned away from his friend.
"Very well. Goodnight, Shadow." Shadow started to walk away, when Gogo boasted one more comment before the masked assassin was out of sight. "Wherever your friend is, I'm sure he doesn't hate you." Shadow heard the remark and smiled at it. There was something Shadow sensed about Gogo after their brief conversation, something kindred. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but his growling stomach got the better of him. He walked over to Locke without looking back.
Gogo watched as his friend grabbed his juicy burger and walked back to his tent. He stood up for a moment and rubbed his mask. 'Hmm, it's getting itchy. I had better take it off. I hope nobody's looking.' he thought as he easily removed the yellow cover on his head. He rubbed his hand through his dirty-looking hair while continuing to look in the direction of Shadow's tent.
'Clyde, what the Hell are you doing? Ha, saving the world indeed. I could beat the living stuffing out of you all those years ago if I wanted, and now you think you're strong enough to beat Kefka? Well, I've been training, too. Now, I can finally watch over you and protect you, my brother, but you've done something I wasn't expecting. You've made new friends. They can probably protect you a lot better than I ever could. You want to know why I wear this mask, Clyde? Because it's time for you to move on. Forget about me. You've got so much to live for, now.' Gogo stopped his thought process when he realized he still had his mask off. He quickly put it back over his head. Fortunately, everyone else around the camp wasn't watching him. He decided to sit back down on the log, and he gazed up at the sky. "Those stars sure are pretty."
From that night on, Shadow stopped having the nightmares about his long lost friend, Baram. Instead, he slept like an angel every night.
From the author: Well, this is my first Final Fantasy fic. I hope you enjoyed it. Please, be a kind reader and review. I'm insecure, and I need feedback!