Resolutions
By: Camerascaper
Rated: PG-13
Time Frame: Most of Terra Firma and a little of Twice Shy. Terra Firma: The Way It Should Have Happened, at least in my opinion, this is how I would like to have seen it happened. Only TPTB didn't want to resolve things between John and Aeryn till the end of Twice Shy. Also I left out the whole Skreeth attack.
Disclaimer: Farscape is not mine.
Resolutions
Chiana and two security agents left Aeryn alone in her room after helping her carry up the gifts she bought for John.
On the way in D'Argo told her Caroline Wallace was in the back yard with John's nephew. She looked out the window and they were still there. As she stood there she remembered back a few weeks earlier just after they arrived, John took her to Jack's house.
It was perfect. Jack and Olivia were decorating the house for a coming holiday they called Christmas. They were showing her things John made as a child. John was showing her a picture of a pet he had as a child, a cat he called it. Then Jack brought out a Photo book filled with pictures of John and his sister as children. He was showing her pictures of John as a child. As she looked at them her mind drifted to the child she carried . Is this what it would look like if it was John's?
Things were going just as she hoped they would if they ever reached Earth and met John's family. Then there was a knock at the door and before she knew it, it all ended. John opened the door and before she knew it there was a blond woman kissing him. After that night she didn't she very much of John and when they did they barely spoke. She knew he was spending time with her.
A few days ago when they were on Moya, she asked John if she should stay on Moya. He asked why would she want to do that. She told him she didn't think she was fitting in. She was trying to get him to tell her he wanted her there. All he told her was that she was fitting in as well as any of them. He also told her it was up to her. She returned to Earth for now.
And now Caroline Wallace was here and she was going to talk to her. As she approached she heard Bobby ask Caroline a question.
"How long have you known John Crichton?"
"I met him about six years ago."
And how long have you been his girlfriend?"
Caroline seen Aeryn coming and told Bobby. " Cut, take five."
Aeryn walked up. "Don't stop I'm interested in the answer."
"Want to tell me why you want to know."
"That's fair...John and I were in a relationship."
"What kind of relationship?"
"It was complicated."
"Uh.. yeah I can imagine. Actually no I can't imagine. John and I had a much simpler one. No strings, no grand plans, just good causal times. Well that's at least how it was before."
"And now?"
"Uh...he doesn't even want that much."
"But he's been spending time with you."
"Think he's been testing himself. Working out what he really wants. It's not me."
"I'm sorry."
"No your not. You still want him don't you?"
"Yes, but he doesn't want me either."
"I think he does. When I ask him about you, he said there was nothing going on. He said that several times."
"That's bad."
"You still have a lot to understand about humans. Sometimes when we repeat a lie, it means we're trying to convince ourselves the truth and that is that he still loves you very much.
After talking to Caroline, Aeryn returned to her room. She didn't have any more answers then she did before. Everyone was telling her, John still cared for her. Jack, Chiana, Olivia and now Caroline. The one
person she needed to hear it from wasn't telling her. Until she heard it from him she wouldn't believe it.
John was in a small office at IASA trying to concentrate on the figures on the paper in front of him. Only his mind kept wondering to Aeryn and what a jerk he's been to her. No, more like the biggest ASS. Since he met her he has wanted to show her his home. And now that they're here, all he can do is push her away, or worst.
There were a few good short hours. He took her to his Dad's, they were decorating for Christmas. After showing her the house they joined Olivia and Jack in the living room and watched as they hung the decorations. He couldn't believe his Dad still had the decorations he and his sister made when they were kids. Jack held one up he made and showed Aeryn. He told her he made it when he was five and my Mom loved it. Since Jack was showing off his childhood he asked "what's next we break out the bare ass baby pictures?" He regretted that question. Olivia and Jack thought that was a good idea and asked Aeryn what she thought.
"Of course."
"No you, are not looking at my bare ass." Though he didn't know what difference it made, it wasn't like she hadn't seen it before.
Then the door bell rang and everything changed. No... he changed.
It was Caroline Wallace, his old girlfriend. Before he knew it she was kissing him. He tried to pull the door closed only it was too late. Aeryn turned and saw them and he could see the hurt on her face. And he knew he put it there, but did that stop him? No. He invited Caroline in and spent most of his time with her ignoring Aeryn. Then if that wasn't bad enough he left for the weekend with Caroline, without so much as a word to Aeryn. He was the biggest ass on both sides of the wormhole.
While spending the weekend with Caroline he tried to spend most of his time working on the wormhole equations. Only Caroline had other things in mind and kept trying to distract him. For the most part he was able to avoid most of her attempts, except for an occasional kiss. She asked him what was wrong and was there something between him and the alien woman. He told her no.
Then the last night before the returned, after a nice dinner and a few beers, things got out of control and the next thing he knew he was in her room their clothes were every where and they were in her bed. He suddenly pulled away from her and sat on the side of the bed.
"What's wrong?" She asked as she sat up behind him and put her arms around his shoulders.
He shrugged her off and got up to look for his clothes.
"What's your problem?" She screamed. "Oh, it's her isn't it. That alien."
"Her name is Aeryn and I've told you this has nothing to do with her. I just can't do this."
He finished dressing and left the room.
He was now passing back and fourth in the small office twirling a small black bulb between his fingers. Laying his head back he stared up at the ceiling.
What the frell was he doing? Who was he trying to fool, it had everything to do with Aeryn. Why was he doing this to her? Oh yeah, she brought Scorpius on board Moya and now he had to protect her from himself. If anything happened to her or the baby...No, he wouldn't think about that. He would have to make sure nothing happens. But if Scorpius found out how her felt about her it was all over.
But they were on Earth and Scorpius was on a transport pod on the other side of the wormhole. They would be safe for now. So why couldn't he let his guard down a little and let her in. Tell her he still loved her, Beyond Hope and he couldn't let anything happen her and that's why he was acting the way he was.
He wanted to tell her about Scorpius and that if he knew how he still cared for her, he would use her to get the wormhole tech and there would be nothing he could do to stop him.
Then what? What would they do after they returned to Moya? They couldn't let the others find out, they might let something slip and Scorpius would find out and he had eyes everywhere with Sikozu around.
How could he ask her to live like that, always in fear of being caught, sneaking around? Because he knew once he let her in there would be no going back, he couldn't do that, for her that would be worst than what he was doing now. But what he was putting her though now also wasn't fair to her. He didn't know how much longer he could do this to her. He could see the pain he was causing her and it was killing him to do it. But he couldn't put her in danger.
His thoughts turned to the other day when he came close to giving in and telling her everything. They went to Moya, so he could check on the wormhole and show Bobby Moya and let him meet Pilot. The pain on her face and in her voice was almost more then he could bear. She wanted to know if he thought she should stay on Moya. She felt like she wasn't fitting in. He knew it had something to do with him going away with Caroline. She thinks you slept with her, why wouldn't she, you jerk! All he could say was she is fitting in as well as any of them. Then he told her it was up the her. Coward.
He was a coward, for so many reasons. For not telling her he wanted her to stay for one, but mostly for taking the popper's to curve his need for her, to help him not think about her. She didn't have anything to help her with her pain. She just had to deal with it, so why shouldn't he.
He shoved the bulb back in his pocket and walked out of the office, he had another press conference to go to.
It was what the people of Earth called Christmas Eve. Aeryn went to the Crichton house to return some things to Olivia. She couldn't stand it on Earth any longer, not being with John.
From the time they met John had told her about his home and the places he wanted to show her, now they were here and they barely talked let alone see each other. He was always working or with Caroline.
She tried not to think about her conversation with the blond woman, but she couldn't help not to, she wanted to hold onto that, there was still some hope for her and John after talking to Caroline. She also couldn't get the thought of the two of them together out of her head no matter what Caroline told her.
When she arrived Olivia was the only one home.
"I just wanted to bring back the clothes you lent me."
"They didn't suit you, huh?"
"No it's not that, it's just I'm more comfortable in these." She indicated to her own clothes. 'It's what I am I guess. And I bought back the books as well, I really appreciate it, everything."
Olivia had the feeling something else was going on. "Are you leaving?"
"Possibly."
"Well you'll be here tomorrow morning to open presents with the rest of us won't you?"
"I may not." Aeryn was trying to hide her emotions and knew she wasn't doing a very good job.
Olivia became more concerned. "What's happened?"
"Nothing bad. It's not bad, it's just I may be needed on Moy..." There was a beeping coming from the kitchen, she guessed it was the oven. "Moya for awhile." She could tell Olivia wanted to ask more questions, but she needed to attend to the oven. "It's alright."
"I'll be right back." And Olivia rushed off to the kitchen.
While waiting for her to return, Jack and the security agent came in the front door. Jack was telling him that since he insisted to escort them all the way into the house he was going to have some egg nog.
"Hi Aeryn." He said as he passed by her.
"Hi." She replied back.
The agent followed Jack.
It wasn't long before John also came though the door and into the living room. As he came in and saw her there he slowed his steps and laid his jacket on the back of a chair.
Aeryn approached him. "I'm sorry I just had to drop some things off to Olivia."
"That's alright."
She stepped closer. "Do you want me to go back to Moya?" This time she was going to make him tell her what he wanted her to do.
"We've already talked about this. It's entirely up to you."
"Fine I'll go with what you prefer."
John wasn't sure what she meant.
Aeryn stepped around the end table, to bring herself closer to him so she could keep her voice down.
"Look, I'm not trying to pressure you, John, I'm actually trying to take the pressure off. Would you be happier if I wasn't here on Earth. You don't have to justify it or explain it. Just give me an honest yes or no."
At that moment Jack stepped out of the kitchen.
"Aeryn?"
Both her and John turned to face him.
John was thinking now is not a good time Dad.
"Would you like to join us for Dinner?"
She tried to hide her emotions from Jack. "Oh no I couldn't impose."
Jack just pushed on. "There's always room for more."
Aeryn still trying to avoid eye contact with Jack. "It's a traditional family thing."
"We'll start a new tradition. It's up to you, but we would love to have you."
Aeryn turned still trying to hide her face from Jack and when she did John could see why. There were tears coming down her face and knew he had to do something before Jack also seen them.
"Could I get some egg nog, Please?" Olivia picked up on what was going on and went back into the kitchen and Jack followed.
When they were alone again or as alone as they were going to get standing in the living room and three other people only a few feet away. They both turned back to each other. Oh God she really was crying. She hardly ever cried and when she did it meant she was in a lot of pain. He stepped closer to her till they were only inches apart. He knew then he couldn't do this to her any longer. He was about to say something when Olivia stepped back in and put the class of egg nog on the table.
John knew it was just a matter of time before his Dad came back in again. They needed to go some place they could talk with out being interrupted. He tried to take her hand only she was so upset she pulled away from him. He tried again and this time she allowed him to take it. He led her out of the living room though the hall to the back of the house to one of the guess rooms. They entered the room and he closed the door behind them.
Aeryn walked into the dark room and kept her back to John as he closed the door and turned on a lamp adding some light to the room. She turned around and laid into him before he had a chance to say anything. All her pent up pain from over the last few monens fueling her anger.
"I have done everything you asked me and still you push me away. What more will it take." She stared at him her eyes flaring with anger. Before John could answer her she continued.
"From the moment we met you have told me about your world and the places you wanted to show me, now we're here on your Earth and you just continue to push me away. Then you go off for days with Caroline Wallace. How do think that made me feel, seeing you with her and knowing you were together."
John's own anger flared from her last words. "That goes both ways."
"That's what this has all been about, my time with you on Talyn? Is that why you Frelled Caroline?"
"I wasn't there for that dance remember." John just stood there looking at her with his hands on his hips. He could still see tears coming down her cheeks. He couldn't do this any more. " And I didn't sleep with Caroline."
She just stood there, not knowing what to say. "Wha..."
"Oh don't get me wrong, she tried everything and the last night there I almost did."
"Wha...Why...what stopped you?"
John took a step closer to her.
"You." He took a few more steps till he was standing in front of her. This close he could see her trembling.
"Me...wh...why me?"
He reached his hand to touch her face. At first she avoided his touch and then she closed her eyes as more tears fell and she let him touch her.
"Because...I...Love You." He closed the last of the space between then and took her face in both his hands and brought her lips up to meet his. She seemed to melt into him. The kiss was everything he remembered. He pulled back just enough to speak. "What's that taste like?"
"Tomorrow." Was her only response.
She put her arms around him and he put his around her, they pulled each other closer, letting themselves be caught up in another kiss and one another.
John was the one to pull back breaking the kiss.
"Aeryn...baby...as much as I would love to continue this, there are some things we need to talk about."
She didn't want to stop any more then he did, but he was right they needed to talk.
After John and Aeryn disappeared to the guess room Jack and Olivia could hear shouting coming up the hall. They just gave each other a questioning look and went back to preparing the meal for their family before they arrived. After some time it was quite, there was no more shouting. They both knew there was something going on between the two of them and now that there was no more shouting they hoped they were finely working things out.
John led Aeryn to the end of the bed and they both sat down facing each other. He held her hands in his and looked her in the eyes.
"Baby." He looked down at their clasped hands and then back up to her eyes. "I'm so sorry for everything I have put you though over the last few months, but I had too." He stood up and stepped way from her with his back to her, then turned around to face her again. " Because Scorpius is on Moya and he is looking for the key to what is in my head. Neural Chips, Aurora Chairs, Threatening Earth, none of it works because he doesn't understand me."
Aeryn stood up. She was a little angry that he was using Scorpius as a reason to keep her away. "Don't use Scorpius as an excuse..."
John raised his hand to stop her. "You're the key! You! If he figures that out, the world and everything in it means nothing. He will use you and the baby and I will not be able to stop him. I had to keep you at a distance, make everyone including you believe I didn't love you any more. It was the only way I could protect you. He has eyes and ears all over the ship."
She didn't understand what he was talking about. "How?"
"He's been listening to the comms and he has Sikozu watching everything and reporting back to him. Haven't you noticed how he knows everything even though he's not around?"
She didn't realize it till he mentioned it, but he was right. She also realized everything had now changed. "So...what do we do now?" She asked as she took his hand and stepped closer and placed her other hand on his chest.
"Well, We don't have our comms and Scorpius and Sikozu are both at the other end of the wormhole. I want my family to meet the woman I Love."
"Then what? What about the others? What do we tell them?"
"We can't tell them. If they know they could slip and let Scorpius know."
She almost feared her next question. What about us, what will he do when we return to Moya? After
tonight I can't, no I wont go back to the way it was. I can't have you now here on Earth and not when we return to Moya. I have you back I'm not letting you go."
"That goes for me too Aeryn. There is no way I can stand being apart from you any more. It was killing me to keep you away for so long and knowing how badly I was hurting you didn't make it any easier. We are back together and nothing will keep us apart now. It's not going to be easy. We will have to act like we hate each other when the others are around. And take what time we get."
"As long as I know we are together I can do anything."
He kissed her. "Me to baby, me too."
"What about our remaining time on Earth?"
"We spend as much time together as we can and we go sightseeing. I've got places to show you."
"What do we tell the others?"
"Oh, I'm sure there are two people out there." He tilted his head toward the door and the other end of the house where his father and sister were. "That will be more then willing to cover for us."
He kissed her again, he could never get enough of her. " And tonight we spend Christmas with my family."
fin