Disclaimer: all rights reserved by EA and BioWare, PS I know that some of this will seem a bit out of character for shepard but this is my take on the character if he never got romanced in me1 also this is au so disregard samara's rejection of shepard in me2

Chapter One: another life

Commander John Shepard was sitting at his desk, he had dealt with many things in his life, Saren and the Geth, the Reaper Sovereign and armies of mercenaries and more recently the Collectors, but he never faced something he didn't know how to deal with until he met the Justicar Samara. Samara had treated him with respect and didn't ask much of him, she never looked at him with anything other than respect and friendship sometimes he swore he saw love in her eyes, but she was always calm and collected, and seemed to be fascinated with humans. unlike other women on the Normandy SR2 that looked at the Commander with lust in their eyes, a trait that made John uncomfortable.

John however had never been in serious dating relationships despite numerous chances over the years and this made him wonder what to do, after some time staring at his terminal thinking a thought came to him, his godmother was Doctor Karin Chakawas and she was here on the ship if anyone could help him think it was her. Shepard's mind made up he made his way down to the med bay where Doctor Chakawas was sitting doing her reports, hearing the familiar boot clicks of Command Shepard, she turned to face him. "How can I help you Commander?" Karin asked displaying a motherly concerned expression on her face. "I have come to ask for some personal advice not from a doctor but from my godmother" Shepard said.

Karin thought back the last time her Commander said this was when he was struggling with something it was grief last time, he had a brief relationship with Ashley Williams, one that was not very helpful to Shepard as it ended with her cheating on John with another crewmen and weeks later dyeing on Virmire, after that Commander Shepard had distanced himself from the women on his crew except Doctor Chakawas whom had helped him through his grief and in some ways in Shepard's eyes was more a mother to him then his biological mother Hannah. Shepard regarded his godmother with a nervous smile "I think I may be falling in love with someone but I think I am afraid of being hurt again, I know it sounds stupid but I can't help it" John said.

Karin looked at her godson with curiosity, what woman could cause Commander Shepard to be nervous, while Doctor Chakawas was glad to hear John was opening his heart again she found herself wondering who broke down the commander's defenses, "Who is the lucky lady who stole your heart Shepard?" Karin asked. John smiled as he thought of the woman in question "Its Samara but I am not sure how to approach her I mean when I dated Ash it was casual, while I mourned her after she died she and I didn't get very close romantically we never really even kissed or stuff like that so I am at a loss as to what to do." John said blushing at his admission.

Karin thought for a moment, Commander Shepard was many things but had she not helped raise him she never would have guessed he was modest, it was probably his most endearing trait, in fact other then being the savior of the citadel and the first human Spectre modesty would be the main thing she thought would win Samara over. "The answer Shepard is simple go to her and pour your heart out women especially like Samara are old fashioned that way, go show her you love her John." Karin said giving Shepard the go get her smile. John nodded and smiled as he restrained himself not to run but walk out the door heading toward the observation room.

Commander Shepard took a deep breath as he reached the door trying to be calm "Here we go." he whispered nervously to himself as the door slid open. Samara sat cross-legged as usual meditating as she once explained to John when they had their first talk in this room, he had asked her about the Justicar code and while at the time only out of curiosity he asked her if the code allowed romance, Samara had explained that it did but she was hesitant to explore it and here he was hoping she would give him a shot. Samara sensed Commander Shepard through her meditation though he seemed different now she felt something way him down, he was afraid of something rendered speechless as he looked at her thoughtfully with a kind and what she thought she saw was loving gleam in his eye.

Samara gently reached out through her meditation probing his mind to see what was troubling him but he was hiding it well she could sense his love for her "ah there is part of the change" Samara thought letting a slight smile cross her lips she slowly stood up to not startle John, she gracefully turned to face him "Shepard are you alright?" she said walking toward him noticing the Commander's nervousness as she stopped a few steps in front of him looking deeply into his eyes. John relaxed a bit as she placed a hand on his shoulder "Samara I am no good at talking about this kind of thing, but as I have come to know you my feelings went from friendship to something more, I have fallen head over heels in love with you, I know what you said about your past and how you thought the only future you could have was to be alone after Morinth died, I tried as hard as I could to push these feelings away but I can't Samara, I just can't do it." John said in a pleading voice.

Samara reached out again probing Shepard's mind and what she found shocked her, John let his defenses down letting her in, she could feel the fear in him, fear of rejection fear of being hurt again, she saw in his memories all the heartache he had gone through yet Samara herself was the bright spot in his life, his reason to fight and live, she saw his love for her and knew as she now looked into the eyes of Commander John Shepard, that he was in many ways so much like her, she served her code when she held stopped Morinth, now the man she had also come to love needed her as much as she secretly needed him. "Shepard I love you too, more then you will ever know." Samara said pulling John into a desperate kiss, she started gently as she knew from probing him she was his first kiss, but when he started to sink into the kiss she deepened the kiss giving her lover all the passion she could as she held him in a tight embrace as she felt the pain and loneliness that dogged them both slip away replaced by the love they felt for each other, soon though her body reacted to the passion her eyes began to turn black "Not quite yet but soon. " Samara thought to herself relaxing as she finally broke the kiss but still held him tightly in her arms.

John felt at peace now as he was in the arms of Samara, though they were no longer kissing he felt secure in her arms as she rested her head on his shoulders "John how would you like to make it official between us?" Samara purred in his ear. Shepard perked up at this partly at hearing her use his first name but also at the question. "Like getting married?" he asked. Samara kissed him on the cheek "Something like that, my people have a ritual called melding, have you heard of it?" Samara asked. John nodded "I have a friend that served with me on the first Normandy she talked a little about Asari culture and mentioned the term, something about it being the way Asari reproduce." John said a slight blush on his cheeks as he realized what he was saying to an Asari. "No need for embarrassment Shepard I did ask after all, though you should know it is also how we choose our bondmates or spouses in human terms." she said in a more cheerful tone. John was taken back by this the love of his life for all intensive purposes wanted to marry him beaming joy and confusion "Of course I would love to but why so soon in our romantic relationship." John asked.

Samara gave him a warm smile now releasing him from her embrace "Asari courtships are somewhat different from humans, in our case our courtship was on the battlefield and in this room, Asari seek to understand and learn all they can about their bondmate but after that is done we prepare for the melding, with most couples the courtship lasts a few months but we did this in six months, that said though with most Asari you can meld nervous systems safely some preparation is required for the initial meld, call me to your cabin in a few days Shepard and please trust me." Samara said giving John another kiss before he left to do his rounds on the ship.

Hope you enjoyed this first chapter please stay tuned for more