Love and Loss (and a sister's support)

Author's Note: PLEASE READ: Not too long ago I experienced the loss of someone very close to me, and ever since I've been really hypersensitive towards death in TV, movies and other media. One of my biggest pet peeves is when movies or TV series just skip over the subject in order to get on with the plot or the love story, when in reality… it's never that easy just to forget the death of a loved one. They're on your mind every damn day.

I wrote this because I really liked the movie and I loved Kate Winslet and Jude Law's characters, but I just felt like I needed to give Graham the opportunity to grieve like a normal human being, because I'm pretty sure being widowed with two young daughters is not as easy as the movie makes it seem. I needed more time with the Simpkins siblings, so naturally, I went and I wrote.

This is largely a therapeutic fic for me, and if it helps you somehow or if you just appreciate it well… that's even better. So, inevitably… BIG WARNING: HEAVY SUBJECTS REGARDING GRIEF AND LOSS AHEAD.

At the New Years Party…

"Iris Simpkins, look at you," Graham said with a smirk, handing his sister a glass of champagne. "Charming men all the way from across the ocean. Who knew you had it in you!"

Iris laughed.

"You're one to talk." She jeered, taking a sip of her champagne. Graham just smiled, watching as his daughters danced wildly around Amanda, who was doing her best to keep up. Iris put her hand gently on his shoulder, snapping him back to attention. His sister smiled at him brightly.

"I really am happy for you Graham." She said. Graham put his hand on hers.

"Thanks, Sis… for everything." He smiled at her sadly, "Absolutely everything."

Graham kissed his little sister on the cheek. She'd saved Graham's life in more ways than she'd known

When Iris burst through the hospital doors, Graham was already pacing a groove in the waiting room floor. His hands were in his hair, clutching the messy brown curls like they were a lifeline. He looked stressed beyond belief and when he finally caught sight of Iris, everything seemed to drain out of him like a tap. She ran to him just in time for him to basically fall into her arms, yet he clutched her like a vice grip. She was in no way prepared for what happened next.

"She's dead." Graham managed, "Abigail's dead."

The second time his voice broke, and so did his spirit. He shook in Iris' arms and it was everything she could do to keep them both standing. She cried with her brother as waves of pain surged through her. She didn't dare let go or even loosen her grip on her brother. She held on for what seemed like ages until the strength drained out of the both of them, making their arms feel like lead. They sank onto a bench, and Iris grabbed his hand, needing to be connected to him in some way, to assure him that she was there. They sat in silence, both completely numbed with grief until Graham suddenly jumped.

"The girls!" he said, almost panicked. Iris squeezed his hand, drawing his attention to her.

"They're alright. Mum and Da picked them up and brought them home." Iris assured him. Graham looked down.

"How am I going to tell them…" he looked back at Iris, tears spilling from his eyes. She felt tears spilling down her own cheeks.

"I don't know… I honestly… don't know."

Iris rang the doorbell and it was almost immediately swung open by a hyperactive six-year-old.

"Aunty Iris!" the young girl exclaimed. "You're here! Let me take your coat."

Iris smiled at the little redhead.

"Why thank you, Sophie, you're such a lady." Sophie smiled, folding her auntie's big coat over her arms.

A high-pitched squeal was the only warning Iris got before another hyperactive four-year-old catapulted into her arms. Iris picked her up and swung her around, making her laugh hysterically. She came to a stop and swung the girl onto her hip giving her a light bop on the nose with her finger.

"And how is Miss Olivia? Have you been good for Santa?" Iris asked the younger girl, who nodded crazily. Iris' attention was drawn towards the kitchen entrance when she heard her name.

"Iris, thank god!"

Her brother Graham was standing in the kitchen doorway, wearing an apron with a messy tea towel thrown over his shoulder. He had speckles all over his glasses and his hair was a mess. Iris had to suppress a laugh at the state of him.

"I've no idea what I'm doing. I'm quite sure the gravy's burnt and the turkey looks like it could still be clucking."

"Turkey's gobble, Daddy!" Sophie laughed. Graham didn't even react.

Iris set her niece down and walked over to her brother. She kissed him on the cheek and handed him a bottle of brandy from the bag she brought in with her.

"Don't worry," Iris smiled, "I've got this."

Graham gave his sister the greatest look of relief and gratitude that was humanly possible.

"Girls, go play." He said gently to his daughters, and then he followed Iris into the kitchen to pour them each a glass.

Seeming that it had been only a month since Abigail's death, that Christmas was a dangerous holiday to spend while grieving, and that Mum and Dad were away on official business, Iris had just invited herself over to her brother's for the entirety of the festivities.

Iris was just in time to save the gravy and the turkey was faring much better than Graham realised. She sipped leisurely at her glass of brandy as she whisked the gravy, watching as Graham settled against the counter behind her. She could feel the stress ebb out of him as he sipped his glass a little faster than she did. The girls could be heard laughing and playing in the room next door and Graham sighed.

"They've no idea really…" he said sadly, "As far as Olivia's concerned Mum's away on vacation."

Iris turned to look at her brother. He smiled sadly.

"I have to remind her every night Mum's not coming home…" He looked down, swirling the brown liquid in his glass. "I think Sophie's clued in a little… She's starting to talk about her in the past tense…"

Iris turned the heat off on the gravy and went to her brother and massaged his shoulders lightly.

"You guys will make it through this, I know it." She said.

Graham took a deep breath.

"I know… I'm just not quite sure how…"

That's when Sophie and Olivia ran into the kitchen and Graham and Iris needed to put on their game faces again, ushering the children away from the hot stove.

Iris entered the bustling pub, leaning on her tipped toes to search the crowd. Sure enough, she found the mess of brown curls she was looking for, sitting alone at a table for two. Her heart sank as she made her way across the pub. She sunk into the chair across from him, making him jump slightly.

"Iris!" he said, trying to hide the slur in his voice. "I thought you were- had an article to write."

Iris smiled slightly, holding back a twinge of pain. She knew Graham was tired of people looking at him with eyes full of pity. She took a deep breath.

"I did, but Ben rang me. He figured I should come check up on you." She chose her words carefully. Graham let out a small chuckle.

"Right… he's a good mate that Benji…" Graham said, looking down at his glass. When he looked up again, Iris's heart throbbed with pain again. He'd obviously been crying.

"I'm fine, Iris." He tried. She didn't come close to buying it. But she pretended to anyways.

"I know…" she said softly, "We're just worried that's all."

"Well I wish you wouldn't!" he slammed his fist down on the table, spilling his drink slightly. The pub was noisy enough that no one noticed his outburst. His anger faded just as quickly as it had come.

"I'm sorry… I just… I feel like a child." He said, eyes fixed on his drink, "Even my six-year-old is worrying about me."

Iris smiled slightly, Sophie's little reassuring smile flashing through her mind. She was so much like her mother it was no wonder she was constantly looking out for her father.

"There's no shame in accepting support, Graham," Iris said. Graham looked up at her sharply.

"No shame? No shame? Iris, I'm her father! I'm the one who should be supporting her. She's just lost her mother for Christ's sake!" Graham spat. Iris stood her ground.

"And you just lost your wife!" she exclaimed. Graham paused and then focused his attention back to his drink. Iris sighed.

"Don't be so hard on yourself…" She said, tears building in her eyes. She hated seeing her big brother like this, it absolutely broke her heart. She wanted so desperately to take all his pain away, but she knew she never could. Graham shook his head slowly.

"I can't…" he said, voice breaking as tears filled his eyes. "I'm lost without her…"

He reached for his glass, but before he could lift it off the table Iris put her hand over his, easily holding it down. Graham looked up at her. She couldn't help the tears streaming down her cheeks. She sniffled lightly, trying to compose herself.

"Let me help…" She said quietly. And Graham broke. His hand slid away from the glass as his entire body basically collapsed, wracked with sobs. Iris got up, grabbed her brother's jacket and draped it gently over his shoulders. She helped him to his feet as he clung to her arm, sobbing into her coat. She gently ushered him out the door, giving a grateful wave to Ben behind the bar before they left. By the time she got Graham into her car, he had calmed down considerably. He leant his head against the car window as they drove on.

"Where're we going…" he asked tiredly. Iris kept her gaze fixed on the road.

"My place." She answered. Graham turned towards her.

"No… no, I have the girls tomorrow…" he said.

"The girls will be fine," Iris assured him, "I'll call Mum. She'll be thrilled to have them one more day."

That answer seemed to be good enough for Graham because he let his head lean softly against the window again. They drove alone in silence for the next few minutes until Graham spoke again.

"Thank you Iris…" he said, barely audible. Iris turned to look at him, and although he was already basically asleep, she replied:

"What are sisters for?"

Graham watched as four of the most important women in his life danced around the living room, laughing and singing. His daughters were doing more of a hyperactive hop than a dance, but it was close enough. He smiled, unable to hold back the swell of joy that filled his heart. He could see Abigail laughing and dancing along with them, complementing Amanda on her beautiful eyes and teasing Iris about her new man. She was laughing and smiling and she paused long enough to shoot Graham a dazzling smile, an I'm-happy-you're-happy look. And as much as it shot a bolt of pain through his heart, he smiled. Because he knew that all Abigail would want is for him to be happy. Now, all Graham could do was send her his undying love and gratitude. A plethora of thank-yous for everything she'd done for him. And many of them went out to his beloved sister as well.

Graham could've watched them all night, but he was snapped back to reality by a presence standing next to him. Graham looked over to see Miles standing next to him.

"Hey Graham, thanks again for having me over for New Years, I hope I'm not invading any kind of family time." He said.

"Not at all, any friend of Iris'…" Graham answered awkwardly. Miles didn't seem to notice, he was too busy smiling at Iris. Graham thought for a second, and then seized the opportunity he had before him.

"Listen, Miles…" he started gently, not wanting to scare the other man off, "I just want you to know that my little sister… well, she's been hurt and used by guys before who, well quite frankly didn't deserve to even look at her. She's a special girl, my little sister, and I just…" before Graham could even finish, Miles put a hand on his shoulder.

"Trust me, brother, I know…" Miles smiled, "And I intend to do anything I can to make her happy, every day until I deserve her."

Graham stood a minute, shocked by the other man's answer. Then he smiled and clinked his glass against Miles'.

"Now that's the right answer," He said with a wink, and they both turned back to the living room as the countdown for the best year of their lives began.