Author's Notes: Thanks for reading:)
Tell Him
by Kristen Elizabeth
For news of the heart, ask the face. –Unknown
There was a commercial for a department store that always aired June. It featured a woman giving her husband a Father's Day present, to break the news that she's pregnant.
Sara considered this, but ultimately dismissed it. If she waited until Father's Day to tell Grissom she was carrying their baby, she would be six months pregnant and as big as a house. Even he wasn't obtuse enough not to notice that.
She thought about taking him out to dinner and telling him over a bottle of champagne, but it seemed so generic. Plus champagne would be off her menu for a long time.
She considered buying him a T-shirt she saw in a catalog that said "Proud Papa" or something silly like that. But that was more Greg Sanders than Gil Grissom.
She could spell it out in frosting on an oversized cookie. Have it sky-written. Slip a note into his pocket. Borrow someone's baby for the day and tell him to start practicing. Whisper it in his ear after lovemaking.
There were a hundred ways to tell him that their lives were about to change.
But Sara couldn't decide on a single one worthy of such an important moment. So she chose to wait until he returned from his sabbatical, when things would be better between them. They had to be better.
The cocoon arrived, and she wondered if he knew. Was this his bug-geek way of telling her he'd somehow figured it out? But there was no note, no hints, no way to know for sure.
She kept track of the days he was gone in the same calendar she'd used to figure out that her period was late. Even still, his actual return caught her by surprise. He looked better than when he'd left, and it gave her hope. So much so that she almost told him in the hallway, when he talked about the cocoon hatching.
Speaking of hatching…I think you'll be surprised yourself in a few months…
It was in the shower, while she washed the garbage dump away, that she felt the first cramp.
By the end of the shift, she'd soaked through the only pad she kept in her locker.
Her doctor agreed to see her right away, and an ultrasound confirmed what hadn't even had time to grow into her worst fear.
"It's not your fault, Sara," the doctor told her. "There is no rhyme or reason to this."
But she'd done her reading. Her age, the fact that she'd smoked for years, exposure to certain chemicals…she couldn't dismiss these factors that were most certainly her fault.
"Being that this happened so early on, it's likely that you'll simply pass the rest of the…tissue. But if the bleeding does get heavier at home, call me." The doctor put her hand over Sara's cold fingers. "I'm so sorry. If you need anything…the name of a good grief counselor…"
The lab had their own. The woman might actually like hearing about something other than crime scenes and autopsies for a change.
She called Grissom with the excuse that she was exhausted from the tragedy surrounding Keppler's death, and would see him in a day or two. He agreed, of course, but there was confusion and even hurt in his voice. She knew she should be concerned about that, but she'd gone through another two pads, and wasn't quite up to worrying about his bruised feelings.
On the third day after his homecoming, the bleeding stopped. Another trip to the doctor confirmed that her body had taken care of the problem without complication. She was empty again. A blank slate that her doctor assured her she could try to write on again in another month or two.
When she saw Grissom again, sex was the first thing on his mind. She staved him off with a story about a yeast infection that had him holding up his hands for her to say no more. She spent the night at his place and woke up crying in his arms. Fortunately, he was a heavy sleeper, and never stirred. She lay in the dark until her tears dried up, listening to the even sound of his breathing.
How to tell him "I'm pregnant" had turned into how to tell him "I was pregnant."
And there was no good way to do that.
Fin
A/N: Sorry about the sadness. I'll be in a better mood soon, hopefully:)