Lonely as she's become
Don't regret what she's done
It's worth all the pain
Regrets. She had a lot of those. It was ironic, really, about that - she hadn't had any regrets. Not until after... not making him stop, not staying away herself, not being careful. She regretted hurting Mark, Maureen, Benny, Tom. Even... even Roger. Even though he didn't seem to notice these days, even though it was his fault.
And she was lonely. Even when Roger was holding her, next to her, inside of her, she was so painfully alone and empty.
The only thing she wasn't sure of was if it was worth it, and she was starting to think it wasn't.
With a smile on her face
And a love in her heart
She always sings
She loved him. God, she loved him, and she couldn't help it. Even when he hurt her, broke her heart (and didn't notice), made her regret fucking everything, she still loved him. For the smile he brought to her lips, for the songs he wrote for her (to hear and sing), for just being him.
But it wasn't enough anymore.
Says "I am"
Then whispers the word "undiscovered"
Says "I can
Open your eyes"
She couldn't fight this anymore, and in giving up, she knew she'd give him a wake-up call. Make him see what he was doing. Not much consolation, but you take what you can get at times like these. Knowing things like these. "You've tested positive for HIV antibodies, Miss Cornwell", and she knew there was only one person she could've gotten it from.
Angel wandered too far from grace
But she saved the sinners in song
She'd been his angel, once. She wasn't anymore, though, she couldn't be. Her halo had been stolen, and she was a fallen angel, a wingless angel, an angel of stone plummetting through the clouds towards hell. Crash, and she was gone, too far for even the grace of God to save her.
How far will you let me go
Before faith is lost in the dark?
He always had been very poetic, she thought. Faith lost in the dark, like the darkness she sought. She wondered if he'd see the poetic irony when he saw her peaceful and pale, and this song, this ballad of a fallen angel, was playing soundtrack to the scene.
She hoped he wouldn't.