"He is so inconsiderate sometimes." Dana said, trying to sound irritated, but mostly sounding upset. Natalie raised her eyebrows as she set a stack of files on Dana's desk.
"Who, JJ?"
"Yes, Natalie." Dana said with a completely straight face. "JJ just told me he had to cancel our date because of a meeting. JJ canceled our date, that has been planned for two weeks, for a meeting that he apparently had forgotten about for those two weeks and only just now remembered." She slumped down in her chair.
"I knew you meant Gordon." Natalie said helpfully. Dana looked up at her.
"You did?"
"Yep."
"Then why'd you say JJ?"
"I was trying to lighten the mood."
"Really? I totally missed it." Dana frowned.
"I'm not very good." Natalie shrugged.
"Ah." Dana nodded and examined her thumbnail. Natalie shook her head and moved around the desk to wrap Dana in a hug. "Sometimes I don't know what I see in him." Natalie didn't have a response for that, so they sat in silence for a moment.
"So you're not going out?"
"Nope."
"Staying in the office?"
"Yeah."
"Is the eight o'clock rundown still at seven?"
"Might as well be." Dana smiled a little. "We don't want to confuse the boys any more than we have to. If we changed it back to eight, Kim would show up at eight. But Elliot would show up at seven, and Dan and Bill would show up at nine." Natalie grinned at her.
"Okay, seven it is."
"So why are you marrying him?"
Dana looked over at Natalie, the girl's headset around her neck as she leaned over to quietly ask Dana her question. And Dana wasn't quite sure what Natalie was talking about. "What?"
"Gordon." Natalie explained. "You said that sometimes you don't know what you see in him. So I was wondering why you're marrying him." Dana stared at her best friend in a cross between shock and disbelief.
"Because... because that's what people do, Natalie." She said finally, her voice low so the rest of the control room wouldn't hear. "They date, sleep together, fight, get married, fight, have kids, and fight. Occassionallly they fall in love in the process. That is why I have to marry Gordon." She glanced up at the clock. "Don't you have a job to do?" she asked, one eyebrow raised. Natalie followed her gaze and jumped, pulling her headset back on.
"Right. Thirty seconds back, everyone." Natalie said clearly into the microphone.
Dana groaned and closed her eyes, taking a large sip of her wine and leaning against the wall at Anthony's. She heard someone sit down across the table from her, and she opened her eyes a moment later to see Natalie watching her intently. "What?" she asked, sounding exasperated.
"You don't have to marry him." Natalie said matter-of-factly. Dana had to think for a moment before she realized what Natalie was talking about.
"Yes, yes I do." she said, rolling her eyes a little. Natalie raised her eyebrows.
"Really? You mean you're legally and contractually required to marry Gordon? You don't have a say in the matter?" Dana tried to ignore the hint of real annoyance that had slipped into Natalie's sarcasm.
"No, Natalie, but he asked and I said yes, we've made all our plans, the wedding's in a month, and you already have your bridesmaid's dress!" Dana's voice grew louder as she went on. Natalie was quiet for a moment.
"Just because he asked didn't mean you had to say yes." she said softly. Dana sighed.
"I know. But I did, so here we are."
"And... and just because the wedding's in a month doesn't mean you can't call it off if you realize you're making a mistake." Natalie searched Dana's face desperately. Dana, knowing what Natalie was looking for, looked away.
"He may not be perfect, but Gordon... marrying Gordon is gonna be the best thing for me to do." she said slowly.
Natalie just stared into her wine glass, looking thoughtful.
"What about me?" Natalie asked in a whisper when 4 AM hit and they still couldn't sleep. This time, Dana knew exactly what she meant. She sounded scared, and confused, and more than a little hurt. Dana didn't answer right away, just traced her fingers across Natalie's shoulder blades.
"I don't know." she answered finally.
"He doesn't love you, Dana." Natalie said in a pleading voice, another, unspoken statement hiding just under the surface.
"I know." Dana replied, addressing both statements. "I don't love him, either." she tightened her arm around Natalie's waist, her response to Natalie's unspoken cry.
"So..." Natalie hesitated. "Why are you with him and not me?" she asked haltingly. Dana sighed and rested her cheek against the warm skin of Natalie's back.
"I don't know, sweetheart." she whispered, kissing Natalie's shoulder. "I really don't know."
"Okay." Natalie said, and it seemed that she'd actually accepted that answer, for now. As she drifted off to sleep, Dana heard her murmur "I love you" into her pillow. Dana smiled sadly and pressed close to the younger woman.
"I love you, too."