I never wanted to fall in love.
No, seriously. I mean, I know it's supposed to be some kind of fairy tale thing, falling in love, but I also know it doesn't always end in happily ever after, and if I'm going to love someone I don't want to lose them. So I've always done my best not to look at people too much so I don't fall for them. I've done a pretty good job at it, too—at least, I did until I met you.
You caught me completely off guard that day. You probably didn't realize it, but it's true. I thought, when I turned around, that you would be someone I knew, Wes or David, maybe, but you weren't, and I couldn't help looking at you anyway. I couldn't look away, I couldn't stop and make my head quit spinning or my heart quit racing. Everything I did that day reminded me of you.
After you went back to McKinley I was able to get back a little bit of my control, to convince myself that what had happened that day didn't mean anything. I told myself we were just friends, and I could almost believe that I was okay with that. I guess I knew, deep down, that I was lying to myself, but I never admitted it. I didn't want to be in love with you. Falling and spinning…you can't control love. But you can hide it, or at least you can try to. I thought I was okay. I honestly did.
And then you showed up again.
You came up to me at my locker, holding your books and wearing a Dalton uniform (the right one this time) and all I could do was stare. You smiled and said, "Hi," and I think you were going to say something else too, but you never did because I didn't give you the chance. You had caught me off guard again and everything, every thought, every feeling that I had been trying to control ever since I'd met you filled me completely, and I did the only thing I could think of, the only thing that made sense—I pulled you towards me and kissed you. Right in the middle of the hallway.
I couldn't help laughing when, after you pulled away, you muttered, "Took you long enough." Because really, for a relatively smart person, I can be a total idiot sometimes.