Disclaimer: I do not own The Vampire Diaries.

A/N: Starts at Smells like teen spirit.

I ran into the house closing the door behind me. I couldn't take it anymore I wanted to feel nothing. I wanted to end it all. I wanted the darkness to take me. I wanted peace. I grabbed the chef knife out of the kitchen and ran to my room. I locked my door and stared at my reflection in the mirror while blue eyes stared back. My tall body made me feel awkward as I was exactly five ft nine and 3 quarters, my long brown hair that could appear dark brown drenched in pig's blood. Three words explained it all; I got Carried. The blood ran down my back staining my light tan skin. I forced myself away from the mirror and raised the knife to eye level before stabbing it into my heart and waited for it to end as tears streamed down my face.

Flashback to earlier that day-

I came downstairs just as the door to the house closed. Typical Elena and Jeremy and even Ric forgot about me that was typical. I grabbed an apple and quickly made my way out the house. I had to run to get to school as usual. I missed Jenna she was the only one who really made time for me. I can't believe she just died in a hiking accident. Just thinking about it made tears begin to form in my eyes. Don't cry Jolie don't cry. I ran as fast as I could and made it to school in record time. I went to my locker to get my books for the day. I turned around to take a step back from my locker when someone closed it on my hair it didn't help that my hair ended a bit past my hips.

"Oops little miss invisible had another accident." Cassandra laughed along with her clones. She was the girl every guy wanted to bang. She was tall standing at five ft ten, with glossy blonde hair that stopped mid back, tan skin, long dark lashes, and killer curves. Her clones weren't as desirable but they were still hot. There was Mandy who had black curled hair that fell to her shoulders, a slim body but she still had curves, light skin, and she was five ft seven. Then the other one was Gretchen who was a red head with her hair ending past her shoulder blades, her skin flawless and fair, she was slim, and stood at five ft eight. They laughed at Cassandra's lame joke.

"Don't you have anything better to do?" I sounded defeated and pathetic. She knew both of those things. I tried ignoring her and avoiding her but nothing she just kept messing with me. I don't even know why she dislikes me I rarely ever spoke to her before she started messing with me.

"Of course I do unlike you I have an actual life freak." Cassandra knocked my stuff out of my hands before she started to strut off like a runway model more like the supermodel Tyra Banks.

"I don't know why you even bother coming to school anymore it's not like anyone would even miss you." Gretchen dug the knife Cassandra left in deeper.

"Yeah I mean you could literally drop dead and people wouldn't even know who you are." Mandy pointed out in such a peppy tone it was sickening to my ears.

"Please girls even if she did not even her family would care. Now let's get away from miss never been kissed." Cassandra called out to her clones and they soon fell in step behind her. I tried to maneuver myself to open my locker so I wouldn't be late for class.

"What's your combination love?" I tried to see who had asked me that but it was difficult. All I knew was four things they had a British accent, they were blonde, pretty, and I didn't know them. "Come on I don't have all bloody day sweetheart." Her voice grew annoyed.

"33-44-7" I told her my combination and she quickly let me out. "Thank you." I said but she had already started walking off. I quickly gathered my stuff off the ground. I had history with Ric first. It turned out the blonde who helped me did to. In class I barely paid attention I had no life so all I did was study so I knew most of what he was saying already. I found out the girl who helped me was named Rebekah and Elena didn't like her. She was also disliked by Stefan, Caroline, Bonnie, and Matt though I don't know why but she and Stefan seemed to have a past. Tyler on the other hand seemed to like her despite his girlfriend Caroline's annoyance.

"Jolie sorry about leaving you this morning. I was in a rush and I just forgot." Ric apologized to me after class. I didn't really blame him he hadn't been the same since aunt Jenna.

"It's okay Ric stuff happens." I walked out the class. My next class was English unfortunately Cassandra and her clones had that class as well.

"Aw someone managed to get their ratted hair out of their locker." Cassandra immediately said after I walked into the classroom. My jaw clenched but I said nothing. I took a seat furthest away from her and her clones in a corner opposite the window. To my anger they merely moved closer. Cassandra sat one row seat ahead of me in the row next to mine. Gretchen sat next to me and Mandy next to her. Class went by agonizingly slow as they took turns insulting me whenever the teacher wasn't listening or wasn't paying attention. I wanted to run away and never look back. I wanted to get out of this town. Go somewhere no one has heard of anyone from this town. I dreamed of going to college outside of this town. Make a life for myself and just forget this horrible place ever existed. After school ended I ran home finally relieved the day is over. I lied on my bed staring up the ceiling. My muscles finally relax. I was so happy to finally be in the one place I can enjoy myself; my room. My safe haven. My eyes closed as I drifted off to sleep. I woke up at eight wow I slept awhile. I got dressed for the bonfire. I decided to wear an oversized blue shirt, white jeans, combat boots, and my hair was up in a messy bun. I had no one to impress so I didn't dress up much. I walked to the bonfire and decided to hang out with Elena so I didn't feel like a complete loser.

"Hey." I walked over to her. I had to wave my hand over her face to her attention.

"Oh Hey Jolie. I didn't think you were coming." Elena didn't even bother to look at me. Her eyes were fixated on Stefan who was talking with Rebekah. Elena walked off before I even had a chance to respond. I decided to look around for Jeremy but instead I found Cassandra making out with my crush his name was Zack. He was 5'11, with green eyes, spiked black hair, and muscular.

"Hey JoJo I didn't know the circus was in town." Mandy and Gretchen came up on either side of me and linked our arms.

"She has no idea what we have in store for her. This is going to be epically hilarious. Oh thank you Carrie." Gretchen I thought said something but her lips weren't moving. This had been happening a lot with random people. I was pretty sure I was going insane.

"I'm so happy you came Jolie." Cassandra's voice was so obviously pretending to be nice. "I think we should start over and be friends." I ended up under a tree somehow. With Cassandra and her clones stepping away from me. "Now Zack!" Cassandra yelled over to Zack who was holding a rope. Before I could comprehend what was happening I was drenched from head to toe in pig's blood. Everyone present at the time started laughing hysterically. I noticed they were recording this. I ran with tears gushing from my eyes. I ran as fast as I could home. I should never have went to that stupid party.

End flashback

I opened my eyes to see I had indeed plunged the knife into my heart yet I was still alive. The pain rippled through me as I removed the knife and plunged it back in.

"No. No! No! No!" I shrieked louder and louder with each passing no. I panicked and cried as I stabbed myself repeatedly with the knife. Blood seemed to flow out of each wound but I just couldn't drop dead. I cried harder and harder wanting this to end. "I can't even suicide right! What the hell is wrong with me? Why can't I die? I just want to die. Please just let me die." I stabbed myself in the heart, the stomach, and then finally I just decided to slit my throat. Nothing worked I even stabbed myself in the neck. Blood gushed everywhere. I was almost to the point of decapitating myself when I finally dropped the knife and dropped to my knees sobbing violently.

"Being bullied, neglected, and feeling depressed are not adequate reasons to end your life." A deep voice brought me out of my violent sobs. I looked up to see a drop dead gorgeous man sitting on my bed. He looked to be six ft four, with dark hair, great cheek bones, blue eyes, and he was dressed in a nice suit.

"Who are you and where did you come from?" I tried to rush to my feet and I stumbled into the door. My voice was hoarse from crying and my eyes were filled with sorrow, self pity, and fear.

"My name is Michael. I do believe it would be pointless to kill yourself as you can not die." I looked at him like he was crazy before unlocking my door. I made it half way out the door before an invisible force pulled me back. I landed on my butt on the cold hard floor. Still on the floor I backed away from him from Michael.

"What are you?" I choked on my words.

"I believe we should get straight to the point here. I'll start over. My name is Michael. I am your father. I am an Archangel. You are Nephilim but you lean closer to your angelic side than your human side." He eyed me with some form of concern.

"No you're crazy. My biological mom was human and there is no such thing as Angels or Nephilim or whatever it is you call it." I just sat on the floor staring at him. My voice came out barely above a whisper it didn't help that it was shaky.

"Then how do you explain you randomly hearing people's thoughts. Your powers have finally come in Jolie you cannot deny who you are. But I assure you I mean you no harm. In fact I have even done you a favor. I erased the videos of what happened tonight at the bonfire. No one even remembers it happening. Their memories have been erased as well." I looked at him in disbelief this couldn't be happening it just couldn't be happening. I had never told anyone about hearing other people's thoughts.

"How did you know about that?" I can't believe I was buying into this but something told me to listen to him. I couldn't explain it but his deep gravely sounded oddly familiar.

"Because I have been watching over you since you were born. I have guided you through your entire life. You have never seen me but you've heard my voice in the past. I couldn't have contact with you until your powers came in. I'll be happy to answer any more questions you may have but I believe it would be best if I gave you time to adjust and accept things." With that Michael or my father left as in he literally vanished in thin air. After a few minutes that felt like hours of staring into space I piled off my clothes to notice my stab wounds have healed. I forced myself into the shower. I numbly scraped off the dried blood on my skin and in my hair. The hot water soothed me some but my mind still raced a hundred miles a minute. I got out of the shower by force feeling my skin begin to prune. I put on some black and white unflattering sweats. I walked out to Aunt Jenna's grave.

"Hey Aunt Jenna. I just needed someone to talk to someone I know would listen to me and not judge me. I guess tonight wasn't exactly how I imagined it would be. I got Carried and that movie is now off my watch on Halloween list." I made a joke to try and hide my sadness. "I just found out I'm only half human. I'm also apparently half angel or is it archangel." Silent tears rolled down my cheeks. "I wish you were here to talk to me. To listen to me. I just need you Aunt Jenna. I feel like such a freak show right now. I just need someone to tell me everything is going to be okay. That I won't we be alone literally forever now." I wiped the tears away from my eyes. "I just I just want I don't know what I want."

I couldn't stay here I just got too depressed. Elena refused to give Aunt Jenna a proper burial. All she had was an unmarked grave in the woods next to Uncle John. I slowly walked towards town knowing full well I wasn't going to go home. I felt like an outcast more so than usual. I needed an escape. I just don't know now. The night's events just kept replaying in my mind. None of this should have been real. Then I remembered in the bible all the Nephilim were killed.

"I'm going to die. I'm going to be hunted and killed." Saying it out loud was utterly ridiculous but in my state of mind it sounded good. It was like okay cool when is this and how soon. The sooner the better. I mean I had nothing to live for. I've never had much of a life. I've always been depressed and an outcast. Yeah I know I'm depressed I just don't care. I remember when I was five it was my birthday and I heard Elena say, "Why does she get a party? Mommy didn't have her, the man brought her. You're my mommy and daddy not hers." Then when I was eight my uncle John accidentally let it slip that I was adopted.

Where is it I belong? Nowhere is the answer to that. I've never had anything that was mine. I wanted to cry but I couldn't. It was like all my tears had dried. I was empty. I didn't know where to go. I took a seat on the forest floor. I didn't want to move but I did. I went to my favorite place; an abandoned barn located just outside Mystic Falls in the woods. It was in pretty bad shape but I liked it. It was like the barn showed how I was on the inside. I paused just outside the gate there it was in bold red letters. 'Do not enter this property has been sold.' I walked away from my special place. I felt so dejected and alone. My mind was blank for the most part except for the dark thoughts that crossed my mind. Thoughts of causing myself pain. It was a way for me to be in control, for me to decide the pain I felt. The pain was the only thing that made me feel alive; the only thing that made me feel anything at all. I was numb.

I looked up at the sky wondering I was born into hell. You know you have problems when hell becomes a place like home, when it is home. I was lost. I didn't want to go home but I had nowhere else to go. I was trapped. The moment I entered the house, yeah house because it stopped being a home a long time ago, I couldn't breathe. I was suffocating from all the memories in the house both good and bad. I wanted to run out of here and never look back but instead I just went to my room. I began to clean the blood up with bleach. It was a distraction. I threw away my bloodied clothes. The room looked liked the previous suicide attempt had never taken place. I knew it had though. It wasn't the first and it sure as hell wouldn't have been the last. I just sat on my bed writing some poetry it was one of my escapes.

With a soul like the violent wind you destroy everything in your path
Never thinking twice of those you leave behind
A shattered family and tears that were wished unshed.
With a soul like the violent wind you're never seen but always felt
Invisible you are but so am I
all because you left me behind.
With a soul like the violent wind you're a hurricane in my heart
The only one who can tear me apart with silent whispers in the dark
You're the only one who can make me cry by saying no words at all.
My phantom of the opera screeching like a quiet siren in my ear
An invisible voice unheard by a common ear
Unseen by the naked eye like the soul of the wind passing by.

A/N: P.S. the poem belongs to me. NO Stealing.