Al.
Today's the day. The day he will finally make his parents proud, choosing day.
As Al walks downstairs in his usual black and white clothing that marks him as candor he can hear his mom and dad arguing on their thoughts of what makes a good waffle. His dad insists it's the batter, you have to get the right kind that will puff when it cooks. His mom however disagrees and says it's all about the batter to water ratio. Al shakes his head and smiles to himself. He's going to miss them so much. Just thinking about leaving his mom and dad makes his eyes tear up, but he knows this is the only way to make them truly proud. He doesn't quite fit in with candor and his parents know that. He also sees they're admiring stares every time a dauntless jumps off the train. He wants to be on the receiving end of one of those looks, and soon he will be.
He eats breakfast and has a pretty normal day for candor. His mom and dad go to work and he works out trying to prepare for a drastic change in his life. For the last year when no one was home he's done some self-training. He has no clue what's going to come up in dauntless initiation so he wants to be prepared. After that he takes a shower and prepares a light lunch. Since the choosing ceremony is tonight his parents get half the day off. It's supposed to be sort of a saying goodbye, a tying up of loose ends afternoon.
His parents get home late saying that they got held up at a trial. Al says it's fine, but he's sad because now there's no time to tie up his loose ends. While they were gone he's been replaying what he'll do at the choosing ceremony. They'll call his name Albert and he'll walk straight up to the bowls knowing what his choice is. He's spent the past year training for this and the past three years knowing that this will be his choice. He walks up and puts his hand over the bowl with hot, burning coals. And then he lets his blood drip into it. He'll look up and see his parents cheering and he'll see dauntless on their feet ready to welcome another comrade to their faction.
The mental simulation calmed him down for over a year and a half, but the past two weeks the bowls have been changing. At last minute his hand switches over to a different bowl, this one has soil. Now when he looks up his moms face has horror and his dad can't even look at him. His eyes start to mist and he hurries off the stage. He goes to his new faction of peace and kindness. Inside him he knows this is the right decision for him and he feels peacefulness flow through him. The only thing that takes it away is when he looks to his left and sees the betrayal on his family's faces.
Al wakes up with a shudder. He didn't even know he had fallen asleep, but now he's on his way to the choosing ceremony. He's all out of whack and can't think straight. He's supposed to trust the test, but how could he trust the test when it makes him betray the only two people he's loved unconditionally his entire life? The answer is he can't. He knows that and he has known that for the past two years. He knows he's not dauntless, but that's what he's been training for. Deep down he knows this is because of his test results. He is amity and there's no denying it. Unfortunately he knows in order to please his parents he must deny it and bury it deep, deep down inside of him.
They make it to the choosing ceremony and Al has mostly calmed down. The only thing that gives his terror away is his quaking palms. He looks down and disgusted with himself shoves them into his pockets. They file into the room and sit down with the rest of the candor. Al's pretty sure there's a man or woman speaking but he just keeps staring at the bowls and has flashes of his past and two potential futures. "We love you so much! Our little Al," his mom gushes. He hadn't even remembered that until now. He looks up to see a look of sadness on his dad's face when he sees me lying for the first time to an old lady because I complimented her outfit. He blinks at that memory. The time his parents realized that he couldn't be candor. He sees himself in a yellow shirt laughing with friends and having a nice day in the fields helping them pick the crops. His future in amity, happy and free. Well almost free. He's now crying and holding a photo of his parents. They're smiling, but that's not what his mind sees. His mind replays the betrayed looks they had at the choosing ceremony. He knows his parents hate amity more than they love him. The lies to make peace. They see amity's peace as deceit and they think nothing is worse than lying for the "greater good". He blinks and instead of betrayal he sees his mom and dad rushing to great him on visitation day. His mom is weeping, but she says she couldn't be prouder. His dad is smiling and Al thinks he sees some tears welling in his eyes too. There are many emotions, but all Al can see is the love and the pride that's filling him up and making his biggest lie of all, him being dauntless, worth it. This time when he looks up it's because he hears his name. It's time.
Al walks up to the stage, but unlike his dream, he's not confident at all. In fact his hands are shaking and he can barely make one foot go in front of another. He takes the knife and makes a slash on his hand. It's one just deep enough to draw blood, but also shallow enough to buy him some time. He must choose. His happiness or his parents? He knows ultimately they're entwined. If he chose amity he wouldn't be truly happy, but he's lived his whole life conforming and he wants to be free. Without him knowing it his hand is held over the soil. At last minute, before the drop falls, he looks up. He sees his parents confusion and the start of betrayal. So before the drop can land he shoves his hand over the coals. He can't breathe, he can't think. All he can do is look up numbly. What did he do?
He can see his parents brimming with pride just like he knew they would, and he can see dauntless cheering, but he can't hear anything. He's overwhelmed and he knows. Right then he knows that the decision to make his parents proud wasn't about they're happiness. It was about his. It was about getting the approval he always craved. So with a calmer mind he goes to join dauntless. He's completely oblivious to the fact that his choice was the most dauntless thing he has ever done, and probably ever will.