A/N: Hi everyone! I'll start off by saying that I haven't written a fanfic in ages – it's been a couple years, which is terrible, but I'm glad I'm getting back into it. That said, if this isn't so great, I apologize, but please let me know what I can do to better it!

This started out as a oneshot to help me cope with some of my own drama, but it escalated into a twoshot when I wrote the majority of this part. I just couldn't resist writing the Beca/Jesse that came to mind here. This part is solely fictional, though, it'll be the next part that is loosely based on my own drama.

I'll stop with the rambling now, so enjoy this part and please let me know what you think at the end!

Disclaimer: I do not own Pitch Perfect.

Beca lay still next to Jesse, his arm wrapped around her waist while her head was resting on his chest, her arm around his own waist. They had just finished celebrating the Trebles semi-finals win. The Bellas had come in second, guaranteeing a spot for both teams at the ICCAs, so Beca wasn't complaining. She hardly ever complained about anything that led to intimacy with Jesse, with the exception of movications of course. That didn't stop the two from teasing each other, an aspect of their relationship that often made Beca smirk, then break out in laughter.

Beca's eyes were currently focused on Jesse's abs, her fingers tracing useless patterns. Though Jesse's eyes were closed, she knew he wasn't asleep yet. That could, however, change in a matter of minutes as the hotel's queen sized bed they were currently occupying was about one hundred times more comfortable than their dorm single sized beds, and they had just exerted a good deal of energy. While Jesse was peacefully resting, occasionally stroking her side, Beca's mind wouldn't stop moving a million miles per minute.

She thought about the amazing ten months she and Jesse had spent together as boyfriend and girlfriend. Beca didn't know what she had done to deserve a guy like Jesse – someone who was there for her unconditionally, who didn't judge her for her quirks, and who challenged and pushed her to be better. One particular memory flooded her mind as she thought back to the start of their relationship.

"Becs, you can't avoid this conversation forever," he said softly as he kept lightly tapping on her dorm room door, forehead already pressed against it.

"I can and I will, Jesse Swanson," she countered back as she moved to grab her headphones.

"Fine, then I'll just sit out here and knock on your door until you let me in and we talk about this," he said, gently but sternly, a combination it seemed like only Jesse could pull off.

It was mid-May, exams had just ended, and everyone was celebrating the start of summer. After the events at the ICCAs the previous month, Beca agreed to go on a date with Jesse. One date led to another, and before they knew it they were practically in a relationship. Though that wasn't a label Beca was willing to admit to; she wasn't girlfriend material, and she didn't want that to change her dynamic with Jesse. This was the cause of their current predicament.

Two days prior, the two were sitting in their spot on the quad, under their tree – Jesse sitting against it and Beca lying down with her head on his thigh, studying for their respective finals when Jesse, seemingly out of nowhere, asked how Beca would define their relationship. She was completely blindsided by the question. She had liked how things were going and didn't want them to change. But Jesse being Jesse slowly but surely pushed her to consider his words. He talked about the last month and a half they spent together and how happy it made him, and finally asked her if she would be his girlfriend.

Though Beca knew this request wasn't by any means out of the blue and actually made sense in the stage they were at, she was at a loss for words. When she looked up into his hopeful eyes, she couldn't form words and did what she does best – run. She stuttered something about being late for a review session for her last final and just ran.

She didn't speak to him for two days. Jesse tried calling, texting, knocking, he even tried to get the Bellas to just get her out of her room, but Beca wouldn't budge. She knew that it was childish, but she just didn't want to deal with it. Something seemingly so simple and normal, but neither of those words ever seemed to resonate with her.

Beca may not have wanted to deal with it, but think about it she did. In fact, she couldn't get his words out of her head. "I want us to keep moving forward," "I don't think I've ever been so happy in my entire life like I have been this last month and a half," "I want to be able to tell people that you're all mine," "I want us both to be happy, because we deserve it," the list goes on and on. Beca couldn't just ignore his request. Thoughts of making their relationship official had entered her mind throughout the last month, but she pushed them out rather quickly before they could solidify, and she hadn't let herself think about it for more than a minute.

She wasn't ready to think about it, and she needed to let Jesse know that. No matter how difficult it was going to be. She couldn't just let him be miserable outside her room forever. She just needed to come up with a viable way to tell him what she was thinking. She just wished she didn't feel like she was about to kick a puppy.

Ten minutes later, Beca sighed heavily and moved towards the door. "Would you stop that, you're giving me a headache." Her words came out harsher than she intended.

"It got you to let me in, didn't it?" Jesse smiled cheekily at her. It baffled her how he could be so cheerful, so positive, and so smiley when she had practically rejected his every attempt to talk to her in the last couple days. As if reading her mind, he said, "Small victories, Bec."

Beca's eyes immediately softened while looking on at him curiously. She didn't know how he knew her so well already, and she was frankly a little afraid to ask.

He merely smiled at her softly, then turned around to make himself comfortable on her bed, as he always does, while Beca fiddled with her thumbs, trying to work up the courage to say what she needed to say.

"Bec, I don't bite, I promise," he said amusedly.

Beca just looked at him worriedly, which wasn't a look you got from Beca often, especially after Jesse made a stupid quip like that. "Jesse, I -," she tried to begin, but she couldn't seem to find the words. Him just being in the room with her seemed to calm all of the nerves she had bottled up in the last two days. Beca closed her eyes, and took a deep breath in, as she prepared to continue with her explanation. "Jesse, I really like you, and that's something coming from me, because I don't say that often. I have also been really happy this last month and a half, and I want this, whatever it is, to keep going." She saw his face visibly change when she said 'whatever this is,' and she knew that at that moment, he knew what she was going to say. "And it's because of this that I can't be your girlfriend." And that's when she lost him.

"Ok, you lost me, Bec. If you like where we are and where we're going, why can't you be my girlfriend?"

"Jesse – "

"Because that seems like the exact criteria for a relationship."

"Jesse, I – "

"I like you, you like me, we like this, it's only natural – "

"Dammit Jesse, I don't want you to get hurt!" Beca finally yelled over him, frustrated.

Jesse merely frowned and said, "What?"

"I don't want you to get hurt," she repeated, only this time quieter, finally looking away from him because she couldn't look at him when he realized that she would ultimately be the cause of most of his pain.

"Beca, what are you talking about?" he asked, now completely confused.

Beca sighed, "I'm broken, Jesse, and I don't know how to do this." She found the will power to turn her head to face him and look him in the eyes once again, "The only semblance of a relationship that I had as an example throughout my life ended when I was fourteen. I haven't been able to sustain a relationship ever since. I drive people away, and I don't let anyone in. I'm closed off and snippy. I'm not a girl who loves rom coms and who likes talking about her feelings. In fact, here's exhibit A, I couldn't even talk to you when you asked me to be your girlfriend; instead, I shut you out for two days. That's not normal girlfriend material, Jesse. I can't be what you need, and I probably never will be, and I really, really don't want to hurt you, not again. So why don't we just save you the heartache and not get deeper into this than we already are. Please."

By the end of her explanation, Beca had tears in her eyes that she fought incredibly hard to keep down. She hated crying in front of other people. She really hated crying in general. She didn't want this to end, that wasn't her initial intention when she began, but she knew that that was what had to happen. Though she couldn't help but wonder if she could be girlfriend material, but that wasn't a thought she let be pondered for more than two seconds.

Jesse just looked at her with his caring brown eyes, but then slowly reached out his hand to take hers and pulled her to him, settling her on his lap as he wrapped his arms around her waist while she refused to look at him any longer, she merely nervously played with her fingers while he began talking.

"First of all Bec, why don't you let me be the judge of what I need. I've never been someone who doesn't go after what he wants, and when we started this year, I knew that I wanted to be friends with you, at the very least. Contrary to popular belief, I don't sing to many girls on the first day of school." When this didn't get at least a look out of her, he continued. "No matter how much you don't want to admit it, I think that's exactly what we became, Bec. And spring break must have been one of the most miserable times of my life. It wasn't because we were fighting; it was because it was the first time I didn't know whether you'd actually come back or not, and that really scared me, Bec. That was when I realized that I not only wanted you in my life, but I also needed you in my life.

I have feelings for you, Beca, feelings that I've never had for anybody else, and I don't care if you're not your own definition of a normal, perfect girlfriend, cause you are the girlfriend I want. You with your snippy come backs, your amazingly scary ear spike, and even your hate for movies, which I think I'm making progress in, by the way," he states, which makes her lightly chuckle. "Bec, I wouldn't be asking you to be my girlfriend if I wasn't sure that this is what I want.

"And you're not broken, you're one of the strongest people I know. The things you went through didn't break you, they built you, and that's what I love about you. The hard times may have torn you down then, but you made sure to put the pieces back together and overcome it all. You sought solace in music, which is a huge part of you, that I absolutely adore, by the way, and it's all part of who you are. And you may not think that you're good for me, but I know that you are because you make me better too. You make me want to try harder, Bec. You make me want to make you proud of me. You make me want to put that smile that I love on your face every day; granted that doesn't always happen, but I'll work on it." Upon his next words, he reaches up to her chin, and turns her face towards his to look her in the eyes, "You make me want and need to take care of you and be there for you when you need it. You make me want and need to be with you."

Beca's face is covered in silent tears, and she can't bring herself to care. Nobody has ever said anything even remotely moving to her before, and she wasn't sure whether to hold on for dear life or run in the opposite direction. "I still shut people out. You said so yourself, I push away anyone who could possibly care about me." She doesn't know why that is the response she chooses, but she thinks she may need to know that he's willing to deal with that because she knows she's not perfect, and she knows she may run sometimes, but that's a part of who she is. She knows that not many people understand that, but if there's one person in the world who gets that and is willing to deal with that, she wants, more than anything, for that person to be Jesse.

"Beca, you shared secrets with the Bellas. You basically serenaded me in front of thousands of people. You started laughing at my lame jokes before we were even a quarter through the school year. You've shared details about your past with me. You may still close off certain parts of yourself, but you're slowly letting your walls down around the people who matter, and I know how much that means for you considering how much your parents hurt you. And sure, you may shut me out sometimes and run in the other direction, but all I know is that when that happens, I won't stop trying to find you and talk to you and try to make things right. As long as you know you can run back to me, then that's all I need."

Beca was looking at him like he was both the most amazing person in the world and the craziest. But only one sentence came out of her mouth, "Ask me again." She said it just above a whisper as Jesse broke out into a huge smile.

"Beca Mitchell, will you be my girlfriend?"

Beca knew she couldn't resist that goofy smile any longer. She leaned her forehead towards his and whispered a soft, "Yes, you nerd." And just like that, Beca was back.

The memory still makes her smile and tear slightly. Jesse was like her blessing in disguise. He accepted her flaws, but helped her overcome her fears. He did, slowly but surely, help her open up to the people around her, which she knows everyone greatly appreciates. She had even become closer to her dad in the last year. They shared biweekly dinners, to which Jesse often accompanied her, but she can tell her dad is happy that his daughter is slowly letting him be a part of her life again. She would only be lying if she said she hadn't missed him since her parents divorced. She's grateful that they can make things right. She also knows that if Jesse hadn't pushed her that extra mile, she may have never repaired her relationship with her father. Though her boyfriend refuses to accept any credit for the reconciliation, he's happy that Beca has that chance. Between Jesse being her rock and the Bellas providing enough backbone, she's pretty sure she's set.

The Bellas were really something else. She doesn't know how those girls made their way into her heart, but they did. She never thought she'd be close to a group of people ever again, but the Bellas had proved her wrong. She would never be able to thank Chloe enough for invading her very personal space and making her audition for the awesome nerds.

Beca thought back on the last year and a half and wondered how those girls even put up with her half the time. No matter, she thanks her lucky stars that they're open to having a scary ear spike girl be the leader of the coveted a cappella group. She doesn't think that the fun she has with them will ever compare to that of any other group. The girls actually got her to enjoy girly sleepovers and take trips shopping – granted those only happened a few times a year, but it was still a step up for her. They would have girly nights out, actually talk about their lives, and share their feelings. She hadn't experienced that in years, and she had forgotten how much she missed it until now. The girls provided her safe place when Jesse couldn't and that meant everything to her.

Beca inwardly groaned when she realized how sappy her thoughts had become and made a mental note to have an intense music mixing session when they got back to Barden the next day. Granted, she didn't often talk about her feelings or dwell on the past. The only times she let herself go was the occasional night with Jesse.

She doesn't know how Jesse had the uncanny ability to calm her, comfort her, anger her, frustrate her, make her laugh, and most of all, make her feel wanted and loved. She had never had that before in her life. Actually, that was a lie. Before Beca could stop her thoughts from going there, her mind flooded with memories from high school, her group of friends, and a guy who managed to both make her and break her.

She had never shared the story with anyone, mainly because she tried to never think about it. But deep down, she knew that if she never shared it, a part of her would always be closed off and afraid. She didn't know what to do with the realization.

"Becs, what's wrong?" Jesse asked softly as he continued to stroke down her side.

Beca was quickly broken out of her thoughts and looked up at Jesse, confused, "What?"

"What's wrong?" he merely repeated, just as softly.

"How do you know anything's wrong, your eyes aren't even open," she challenged.

"You think I need to see you with my eyes to know what's going on with you?" he replied back. She was, quite frankly, a bit taken aback. "What's going on in that head of yours?"

Beca stopped tracing patterns on Jesse's stomach as she moved her hand to support her chin on his chest. That way, she was now half on her side, half on her stomach, her body pressed against his, her chin on her hand, and she was looking down and biting her lip. Jesse's fingers moved up to caress her side near her ribs, the one area he knew would calm her for reasons he could never pinpoint.

When she didn't answer, Jesse opened his eyes and looked at her. Though she was looking to the side, he saw indecisiveness in her eyes and could tell that she was having an inner debate. This drew out his curiosity, but it also made him slightly worried. Even though the two had been dating for nearly a year, Jesse didn't always know what to expect when serious thoughts plagued her mind. He did know, however, to let her talk in her own time – things just always seemed to go better that way.

"Beca, what's wrong?" he asked again. Beca's eyes reached his and she could tell that Jesse was worried. He didn't want her to reveal something or start a discussion that would then make her seek an escape. She thinks he doesn't realize that she hasn't run from him in months, and they've had some pretty serious conversations in that time.

Beca throws Jesse a soft smile and moves up to kiss him softly. After a few seconds, she moves away, eyes still closed, she says, "I need to tell you something."

Opening her eyes, she sees he has concern written all over his face and uneasily responds, "Okay."

Before she begins, she reassures him and says, "Don't worry, it's nothing bad. It's just something that I haven't told you yet. Something that I actually haven't told anybody, but it's something I think you should know."

She sees his features relax a bit, though he still keeps a hold on her waist as she moves to sit cross-legged next to him. Jesse maneuvers himself to sit up against the headboard, but keeps his hand on her thigh. She's glad they were clothed, if you can call a tank top with boy shorts and boxers clothed, because she doesn't think she can be naked in front of him in more ways than one right now.

When she looked up at him, she saw that he was looking at her expectantly, yet his expression wasn't pushy. It reminded her that she wasn't pressured, which somehow eased her thoughts. "Do you remember when you asked me to be your girlfriend?"

"How could I forget such an achievement?" he smiled cheekily at her as she swatted his chest with a smile on her face.

"Well do you remember how then as well as a few other times I told you that my parents relationship was pretty much the reason I was so closed off?"

"Yeah," he confirmed, not entirely sure where this was going.

"Well that's not entirely true," she paused, "there was another reason I built so many walls around myself, and his name was Jeremy."

A/N: So what do you all think of this? Can't take credit for one of the lines in here, it's a line from one of my favorite tv shows. Ten points if you can pinpoint it!

I don't know if I got their voices right. I feel like Beca seems a bit OOC, and it was a bit difficult to combine her personality with her also being more open and vulnerable with Jesse. So I'm not entirely sure if I like how that turned out. But anywho, there's one more part to this story, and I will update with it later in the week, probably after Wednesday. But in the meantime, reviews are love! Reviews really encourage me and help me build on my writing, so please drop me one! Have a great week everyone!