iHate Lent
(Sam's POV)
Yo people!
Sam Puckett typin'. Today's Friday. We gonna have some fun fun fun! GAH! I'm gonna kill Carly for singing that stupid Rebecca Black song. What is up with that chick and the autotune? I thought autotune's actual purpose was to make people sound better. You really know you suck when autotune can't save you. In my opinion, Rebecca Black sounds like a walrus who has bronchitus. She and Justin Bieber need to move to Zimbobway or something so they can raise their 13 tone-deaf children and save our ears.
What else is new? Oh yeah, incase ya didn't know, I'm dating Freddork. Don't really know how that happened. Maybe someone drugged me or something. I dunno, all I know is right after I finish this bloggy thingy we're hanging out at Carly's house (actually, I'm already there, but he isn't. When am I not at Carly house, really?)
Oh, apparently today's lent or something like that. First of all, who names a holiday after something you find in your pants? (that's what she said). Second of all you can't eat meat on Fridays AND you have to give up something. I'm not even catholic, but Fredlumps is so being his girlfriend and all, I have to do it. This holiday's jank yo!
Well, this basically wraps up this blog. Just remember, I'm bi-winning and by boyfriend's bi-losing.
Until next time, my tiger-blood friends.
-Sam Fried-Chicken Puckett
...
After I closed the laptop in Carly's room, I jetted downstairs to find Carly making iced tea and mac and cheese while 'Never been kissed' was playing on the TV. I rolled my eyes. Carly loves that stupid chick flick movie. Making myself comfty, I changed the channel to watch 'Sweeney Todd'. Sweeney Todd is so gorey. Last time I watched it with Freddie and he wouldn't stop covering his eyes during the bloody parts. Baby. Why am I even dating him? Carly turned around and saw I changed the channel.
"Sam!" She scolded. "I was watching that!"
"Yeah, now I'm watching this." I pointed at the TV. Sweeney just slit some guys throat. I giggled. Carly yanked the remote from my hand and changed the channel back. Then she proceeded to stuff the remote in her bra.
"Ha! I have the remote now!"
"Carls, I'm not afraid to reach down there and grab it" I chuckled. Carly crossed her arms and made a 'hmph' noise.
"Oh! My favorite part!" She hopped over to the couch and sat with her legs crossed and her eyes glued to the TV. I shook my head and sat next to her.
"That thing, that moment, when you kiss someone and everything around becomes hazy and the only thing in focus is you and this person and you realize that that person is the only person that you're supposed to kiss for the rest of your life, and for one moment you get this amazing gift and you want to laugh and you want to cry because you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared that that it will go away all at the same time."
"Pfft, that's so cheesy! It's cheesier than that mac and cheese you made for dinner!" Carly turned off the TV.
"It's not cheesy, it's romantic. Don't you ever think about that with Freddie? I mean, you guys haven't kissed ever since he asked you out."
"Carls, we're not crazy hormonal teens who make out every 10 seconds. We've been going out for a month, big whoop. And..." I looked side to side to make sure no one heard what I was about to say.
"What we have is so pure. He and I have the type of relationship where the frame is built because of emotion. Not physical stuff. The nerd and I talk, have fun, and enjoy being around each other. For now, that's all we both want. We're taking things slow so we don't end up like 96% of the teens out there who get knocked up. All I'm saying is, we'll see how tonight goes. If that feeling's there, we'll kiss." As I finished my mini-rant, I saw Carly's lip quiver and she forced me into a hug.
"That's the cutest thing I've ever heard!" She hugged me tighter so I couldn't breathe.
"Carls...you're killin' me!" She released and muttered an apology. The door opened and none other than my dorkish boyfriend walked in typing on his phone.
"Hello Carly-lady and Sam-lady!" He stuffed his phone in his pocket and stood in what I called the 'Freddie stand'; Toes pointed out, thumbs in the front of his pockets. Carly had an unbelievably huge grin plastered on her face.
"I'll leave you two alone..." she giggled and ran over to Freddie.
"Go get her tiger!" She nudged his side and winked before galloping up the stairs and out of sight. Freddie stood there with a confused look on his face. He turned to me like 'what was that all about?'
"I don't even know, dude. Sup?" I ventured into the kitchen.
"Not much, just came over to hang with my girlfriend. Have you seen her by the way? She's a real pretty girl, around 5'2", blonde hair, gorgeous eyes, she always talks about her handsome and smartical boyfriend." I started to giggle at his lame attempt to be cool.
"Yeah, she saw your face and left. Now I'm here." He stood there as his mouth formed an 'O' shape.
"That was cold, Puckett!"
"I never said I was a fair player, Benson." My smirk said it all as I turned my back to him to taste the mac and cheese that was sitting in a pot on the stove. Mmm. Carly sure can cook. She's gonna make some guy very lucky one day if she's as good in bed as she is in the kitchen. Suddenly, I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist as the dork rested his chin against my shoulder.
"Mmm. Smells so good." He moaned. His breath fluttered against my neck, sending chills up my spine.
"Yeah, Carly sure knows how to work it in the kitchen."
"I meant you." He giggled. I turned around to see him smirking. Shaking my head, he asked a question:
"Hungry?"
...
We (well, I) devoured the mac and cheese in less than 10 minutes and gulped down the iced tea.
"Wow, I didn't know I was dating a garbage disposal." He softly chuckled as he took all of our dishes over to the sink to wash them off.
"You signed up for this ride, bub. It's called Sam Puckett. Unpredictable, scary, and not recommended for children under the age of 8."
"Ha! Ain't that the truth. You're like a green horse sometimes."
"Freddie, I hope you know horses aren't green...Well, unless they roll around in p-"
"No, I meant green in metaphorical terms. A green horse is a horse that hasn't been trained and tamed yet. You definitely aren't tame, yet."
"I can't be tamed! Oh god...I did not just quote a Miley Cyrus song." Freddie started laughing as he put the dishes into the dishwasher.
"I think you just did." He walked back over and we both went over to the couch to sit down. A few minutes of silence went by as he rested his arm on the back of the couch behind my head. Then he turned his head towards me.
"Hey." I lifted my head up from his arm.
"What?"
"Is it ture?"
"Is what true?"
"That every girl has 3 guys in her life?"
"Ummm...I guess so." I answered confused.
"Let me explain more."
"Please do."
"Alright, there's this quote going around and I wanna see if it's true."
"Keep talking..."
"Ok, who's the guy you love? Ya know, like care about a lot."
"...You."
"Who's the guy you hate?" I answered this one with an unecessary scoff:
"You." Freddie rolled his eyes and went on with the next question.
"Who's the guy you can't get enough of?" Freddie finished the question and stared into my eyes. His eyes reminded me of a hershey bar. Mama loves her some chocolate. She also loves F- nevermind. I didn't realize any time had gone by until Freddie said my name again.
"Sam?"
"You." He sat up and smirked.
"Well, that quote wasn't lying."
"Huh?"
"Well, the actual quote is 'there are 3 guys in every girl's life: the one she loves, the one she hates, and the one she can't get enough of. In the end, they're all the same guy." I nodded my head.
"That's actually pretty cute."
"Ain't it? Carly told it to me."
We sat there in silence for a few more minutes before I got up and turned the TV on. When I got back to the couch I ended up laying my head on Freddie's lap and hung my legs over the arm of the chair. 'Never been kissed' was playing again.
"Ugh, this again!" I groaned.
"I love this movie...but you can change the channel if you want. Where's the remote?"
"Carly stuffed it in her bra and took it upstairs."
"...Ew. Remind me not to touch that again." Freddie said in a manner that just made me lose it and break into giggle fits.
"What are you laughing at, giggles?"
"Nothing. It's just...I love you-" I abbruptly cut off what I was saying.
"Did you just say I lo-"
"No! I said I love unicorns. Y'know, like the kind Voldemort eats...Stupid dark lord and his stupid non-existant nose." Sitting up from his lap, I was nervously chuckling and rambling on. I can't believe I just said that. Making myself look like an idiot. Plus, I already know he knows that's not true.
"Oh really? 'Cause, it sounds like you just said 'I love you' to your boyfriend. Am I right?" His eyebrows did a little dance as that oh-so famous smirk planted itself on his face once more.
"Fine. Yes, I said I love you." I got up from the couch and started walking around a bit.
"It's the meatlessness talking! I haven't had bacon in 17 hours, that explains it all!"
"No." He got up. "I think it's your heart talking. I love you too, but."
"But..."
"But, if you'd let me finish, I don't think we're in love. Ya know?"
"Totally, we're too young for that."
"Again, but, I think tonight's changed that for me."
"What?"
"I heard you and Carly talking before I walked in. What you said was really beautiful. It was also very true. The true frame of our relationship rests soley on our feelings for each other. This stupid infatuation that most couples have with losing their virginities doesn't even come close to the emotional bond that we have. And that's why, I don't love you. I'm in love with you, Sam. And that feeling's there. The one that provokes us to kiss. Why don't we just..." He drifted off and leaned in to kiss me but I stopped him with my hand.
"What?" He leaned back.
"That movie, never been kissed, it has a really good quote. About worrying that the feeling when you first kiss won't come back..."
"It also says that you know when you kiss someone if you're going to spend the rest of your life with them. Why wonder when you know? Like I do." He turned his head towards me and smiled.
"You really think we're gonna stay together, forever?" He shrugged.
"Yeah."
"Well then...I think this calls for a celebration." I put my arms around him and touched my lips to his. Stunned, he kissed back and put his hands around my waist. It was a playful kiss; nothing too wild. After we broke apart, he started to speak.
"Well, I'm going to hell."
"Why?"
"Because I gave up sugar for lent. If I'm not mistaking, you just gave me some" I laughed at his metaphors
"You're silly. Technically, I'd be going to hell since I gave you the sugar."
"Well, I can't let you go alone." He handed me a bag of bacon from his jacket pocket.
"Score!" I devoured the bag in a minute. Actually 58 seconds (Freddie timed it). After tossing the bag into the garbage can, I walked back over to Frederly.
"Well, dork. Let's keep sinning." I winked and put my arms around him once more.
"Anything for you, baby." And on that note, our night of sins continued with more meat and definitely more sugar. Tonight, we both gave up something. We gave up keeping our feelings bottled up. For the first time, I felt relieved. Isn't that what this whole holiday's about? Giving up something? Hmm, maybe lent isn't so bad afterall.