Title: Stupid, Stupid Game
Author: Hales luvs Nate
Pairing/Character(s): Naley
Rating: M (just in case)
Disclaimer: No, I don't own One Tree Hill.
Spoilers/Warnings: Or don't and get punished.
Summary: Ladies FYI to taking the backseat to their husband's mistress.
Author's Notes: Long time no see! Sorry, after I post this I plan to update one of my other stories sometime this week I promise. Can someone plz tell me wtf happened with Chad and Hilarie? Before I put my two sense in where it doesn't need to be, I wanna know for sure. Truth be told if you read my profile page you know I can't stand Chad…
Note 2: Ok, so this is in Haley's POV. This is in the style of how Sex and the City is. Cary is the narrator and all. That's how this is. It came to me back at Christmas when all my dad and brother-in-law would watch was football, and all I wanted to watch was Christmas cartoons… sad I know. Jk Anyways, I hope you enjoy, and please review!
Narration
Story itself
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Ephram Brown: Bright? That's his name.. Ironic
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Hello, hello!
Have you noticed that there's one thing that dominates men's life – that is besides us?
You named it; it's sports! I bloody hate it. For most, it's football, but for my family, it's basketball. You know the game with the hoop. As you know, I'm from North Carolina,a nd we are known for our basketball! We have Duke and UNC, and you know they are tied for first with UCONN! Well, my high school had a football team with a field, but we sucked so bad that no one signed up for the team. Basketball was what anyone wanted to do. The popular people were the basketball players and cheerleaders, and my husband was one of them.
Anyway, I swear sports dominate my husband. He blew his knee out after a few years in the pros, so now, he coaches, and he's always concentrated on that till – surprise, surprise Duke and UNC come on, and when that ends, we still have NBA till June, and barely two weeks late is basketball camp. Can I get a break please?? Is it too much to ask?
So we just had the holidays right? Well, I wanted to watch the Christmas specials with him, but we watch basket ball instead, WTF?
So I try stuff to help distract him. It doesn't work. I put on his favorite lingerie, and does he pay any attention to it, No! I repeat WTF! I swear it's hard to get in his head. Hello, I live here, too! You know that person u cuddle to every night to, well, that's ME!!
So I spray myself with the Jessica Simpson body spray, you know the edible kind that your husband can lick off your body with his favorite lingerie.
I walk out our bedroom to our movie theatre where he loves to watch anything. I can hear him yelling at the TV, and I get at the doorway and say, "Nathan." in my most sultry voice. "I need you."
"Not now the game's on," he whined to me.
"But I really, really need you," I said more husky.
"Haley," he said and turned around and saw me in his favorite basketball lingerie. I saw him almost cave in – his eyes can tell me anything – he turned around, and he said, "the game's on."
"Fine, I guess I'm going to have to help myself" usually that works, "and you can have fun tonight on the couch and have a nice cold shower." I slammed that door so hard my neighbors a few yards away heard me. I was so mad.
I couldn't believe any of it worked. It always does. He tried coming in the bedroom, but it was locked, and I had a chair under the door. That pissed him off.
So next, I tried standing in front of the TV. Ladies, don't ever try it. He threw popcorn at me. I turned the TV off and walked away. I felt so humiliated!
So, you know that old saying you can't beat them join them.
DO IT! And I'm going to tell you how!
Step 1: Buy your man's favorite team's jersey (if you don't have one already).
Step 2: Find one of your guy/girl friends that loves that sport, and can tell you what anything and everything is. I chose my boy Skills. I learned from watching an UNC game and playing NBA Live for three hours.
Step 3: Buy some new, extra sexy lingerie or… not (if you know what I mean).
Step 4: Watch a game by yourself and see if you can keep up.
I had a bowl of popcorn as I watched a really bad game when UNC killed them by doubling the opposing team's score. Sad for them… I have never been so mad at a team. Did the other team practice at all? If you are going to play a strong team like UNC, get your shit together ppl! Don't psyc yourself out!
"You, idiot, block him! Stupid, bitches," Haley yelled. "GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER! It's called a rebound you, fuckers!"
Let's just say I was mad.
"You are the worst team in all basketball," I yelled.
Don't let him see you watching it, by the way.
I could hear him walking through the house, and the first thing I knew was on is Desperate Housewives. Damn, Jesse Metcalfe is HOT! And my husband knows I think he is..
"Hi, gorgeous!" Nathan said. "What did I tell you about him?"
"He's hot?" I asked.
"Uh, no, to change the channel when he comes on. I can't have you lusting over him when you have me." He told me.
Don't put on a show that has someone that you have a crush on either.
"Now, it's for your punishment," he told me.
"I'm sorry, Nathan, please not the punishment," I flirted.
He grabbed me and pulled me over his shoulder to our bedroom and lay me on the bed. He immediately slammed his lips on mine, and I gave in to it. We rolled over to his back while not unconnecting our lips. I felt him try to open my lips with his tongue and immediately gave him a little help.
I pulled his shirt off and I connected my mouth to his stomach.
His punishment entails that I fuck him with my mouth and with me inside him slowly and hotly.
Or do and get punished.
He was late from him lunch break.
Step 5: Put only on what you bought or didn't and get your new sport knowledge together for the game your man is watching. (Oh, make sure it's the team you're wearing), and don't forget to smell yummy and feel fabulous.
The day Nathan's team came on I went to get waxed, and I made my usual trip to Victoria's Secret for some Very Sexy – mine and his favorite – and some new undies.
I got home and put up my hair how he likes it. I lathered my legs, stomach, thighs, and boobs with some Very Sexy. I grabbed the new undies and my jersey over my head.
I walked out our door and asked, "Who's winning?"
He said, "Spurs, baby!" He glanced back at me then turned his face to the TV then he turned back towards me and realized that I'm wearing his old jersey, the jersey that when I wore it, it turned him on like a candle.
"Go, Parker!" I shouted! He stepped up to the foul line, and I put my hands in the air and said,"Swoosh!" when it went through the net. I shouted at them for not getting a rebound. I praised them for getting two field goals in a row.
During the commercial, my husband asked me, "Who are you, and what did you do with my wife?"
"Skills was patient enough to help me," I said as I saw what he was wearing. He had a Spurs polo on, and I love him in polos and especially button-ups. He also had his basketball shorts on.
"Really?" he asked huskily. He grabbed the remote and pushed a few buttons. "I'll have to thank him, later." He said.
He stood up and grabbed me from the couch, and I asked, "What about the game?"
"Tivo, baby," He said huskily as he put me in our bed.
He slammed his lips on mine, and I moaned. The things he does with his mouth. I groaned. He brushed his tongue against my lips, and I opened my mouth automatically, and we continued to devour each other's lips. We pulled away and practically gasped for air. I pulled his shirt off, and he pulled mine and moaned when he realized that I had not bra and a small thong. That had 23 on it, his favorite.
He started to kiss my neck, and didn't I tell you he was great with his mouth. Let's just say he used it very nicely for the rest of the night and… morning. Yes, I'm blushing!
He told me later if I really wanted his attention to come out naked with a whipped cream outlined jersey, or to say, "I love you. Now come f* me" or simply remind him, "YOU CAN TIVO THE EFFING SHOW!"
I was so mad when he told me that.
Anyways, I have a hot husband that I have to seduce from his "mistress."
**You know you learned something.. kinky.. lol**
3 Your,
Tutorgirl
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A/n: So hate it? Like it? Please review! It means so much to me when you do! Thanks! HalesluvsNate