A/N: Okay, so this is new for me. I'm not used to writing humor, so here it goes! If I fail miserably, don't tell me. jkjkjk I really need your feedback!

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy X. I wish I did. Maybe I can buy it from Square Enix. Eh, I'll just take it while holding them at gunpoint.

On with the chap! But first the torture of a character I want to throw off a cliff.

(pitch black room)

Wakka: Where am I?

mr91: hehehehe...

Wakka: Whoah! Who's there?

mr91: You're worst nightmare.

Wakka: No! Not Britney Spears!

(Oops I Did It Again plays in background)

Wakka: Agh! Turn it off! Off! Off! Off! I'll do anything! Just turn it off!

(music fades into the Barney Theme song)

Wakka was never heard from again... mwuahahahaha!

Prologue: Physically Impossible

I wanted to hug her and, you know, just hold her tight and let her know that it's gonna be alright. But I couldn't. It's not like I was afraid or anything; it was just physically impossible. There she was, lying on the ground, crying. And all I could do was watch. I was helpless. I'm pretty sure a rag doll was more useful than I was at that moment. She slowly made her way to her knees and then to her feet. She stood facing away from me. She whispered three words. Three words I had longed to hear. Words I had waited my whole life for. "I love you." Hearing her say those breathtaking words, it broke my heart. I loved her too, but I couldn't say it. I couldn't tell her how much she meant to me. It was there, on the tip of my tongue, but the words failed me. I was starting to fade. Oh, how I wanted to just love her and kiss her everyday and be with her every step of her new life. But that was impossible. But there had to be something that I could do for her. Something that relayed my feelings of my love towards her. Walking over to her, I placed my arms around her in attempt to hug her. My arms just went straight through her, but I completed the hug. And we just stood there. Cherishing, no, savoring, the little time we had left. I want to stay with you forever, but that's not possible, is it? I just want to be with you so badly. I'll do anything. How cruel is the fayth that runs my life. Releasing my grip, I stepped towards the edge. Tears started streaming down my face. And I began to run. I couldn't bear the anguish that came with leaving her, but what else could I do? The faith weren't leaving me any choice. I was left with one thing: a heartbreak like none other. But maybe it was two things: My heartbreak and leaving the one I loved without the love they deserved. At the beginning, all I wanted was to get home. I never thought that I would fall in love. It was the last thing on my mind. But I got to the point where I was desperate, desperate to save her life. I was willing to do anything to keep her alive. Well, I did it. She's safe. She can live her life carefree. But not with me. But this is no longer my story. It's hers. Shaking my head, I jumped. I love you, too.

Chapter 01: Living Under a Rock Gets You Places

Crudbucket!

I sat at my desk glaring daggers at my computer. The stupid thing had restarted again. It does that randomly. As you might think, it was annoying. It had already restarted twice in the last fifteen minutes. I was about to throw the darned thing out the window. Not like I would actually take the time and the effort to do it.

Looking around my room, I took in the details of the clutter. My once beautiful blue, gray, navy, and silver bedspread was torn in random places and crumpled at the foot of my luxurious bed. My nightstand was little better. At least it still has all its parts and pieces. The drawers were open and overflowing with junk. Piles of books were stacked on top, completely hiding the lamp from view. Pillows were congregated toward the closet door. The closet actually wasn't that bad. I think that Ernie ate everything that I threw in there. Oh, Ernie is the monster in my closet. He's pink and fuzzy!

Looking back to my evil computer, I saw that it was frozen on the welcome screen.

"Cheese and rice!" I screamed at the infernal thing.

"Mandy! Watch you language!" My mom screamed from behind me.

I didn't hear her come up behind me so in turn she scared the crap out of me. I screamed like a little girl. "Mom! Don't scare me like that!" I panted. My heart rate was surely twice its normal speed. "And I wasn't using God's name in vain. I said 'cheese and rice.' You know, it's food that we eat. I personally don't like them together, but the world's population seems to think that they were meant to be mixed and served with broccoli. I wouldn't mind them each separate, but evidentially that is just too complicated." I reasoned.

"Whatever, just hurry up. I need you to set the table for dinner. It's only going to be the two of us tonight. Dad's working late." My mom explained as she hurried back to the kitchen.

Poor Dad, I thought as she left. My dad works almost 24/7. Our family isn't doing too well in the financial department so he goes to work earlier and stays late.

"Well, might as well get to it!" I said to no one in particular. I stood up and started out towards the kitchen. Kiki, my bipolar cat, decided that it would be fun to trip her uncoordinated mistress. Well, I can say that it wasn't pretty. The devil cat's plan worked. She weaved in between my legs and I went down. Face first into my Tidus action figure. (Yes I have a Tidus action figure. It's totally awesome!) Did you know that his sword is really sharp and pointy? Needless to say, that pointy sword found my defenseless eye.

"Ah! You're going down, you sadistic cat!" I screamed as my eyed watered.

I headed down the hall and into the kitchen, all the while plotting my revenge.

After setting the table, I wondered into the den to watch some TV. It was Monday and Monday meant Heroes! Woohoo!

After the watching of the Heroes, I went into the kitchen to see if dinner was ready yet. We were having the ever so wonderful broccoli, cheese, and rice combination. Don't you just love irony?

After choking down the poison, I went to my room to read some more in 'Brisingr' by Christopher Paolini. I really don't like that book. I stayed up till midnight to buy the freaking thing and it's not even that good! Never the less, I shall finish reading it even if it kills me!

When I couldn't take anymore, I got up and went to my closet. I needed to pick out something to wear the next day to school. I asked Ernie and he said that my 'Hawk Nelson is My Friend' t-shirt with a pair of jeans would look good. I put them on just to be sure and looked at myself in the mirror.

I looked plain. My hair wasn't straight but wasn't curly. I just recently got it cut so it was about cheek length. My face was as pale as a ghost and my chest was basically flat and I'm not exactly the skinniest person in the world. I'm not fat, just not a toothpick who could eat anything and still not gain weight. (Am I the only one who hates those kinds of people? I can just think about food and gain weight!) Another thing, I am short. I am 5'3. I grew half an inch in a whole year! (That's an accomplishment for me.) The only things that I really like about myself are my eyes. They're this light color blue with a navy blue rim. That's the only thing I get compliments on. *sniff* But I'm not discouraged!

As I looked at myself in the mirror, I thought of how Plain Jane I was. My life was just the same. To sum it up in one word, boring.

Oh well. Life should get at least a little bit interesting. We've got that exchange student from Japan coming tomorrow.

Ironically his name was Tidus. I was just itching to ask him if he'd played Final Fantasy X. Seriously, if his name was Tidus, he had to have played the game!

I'm getting all excited just thinking about tomorrow! My dweeb of a sister is gone because of that exchange program thing and now a guy will be staying here in her stead!

I was so happy that I turned on 'Soldier Boy' and did that stupid dance that goes with it. I felt so freaking hyper! I envied my sister though. She was on her way to Japan! My favorite country ever!

Oh well! Hopefully the Asian is hot!

The exchange student would be arriving tomorrow at 3:00 pm. My parents couldn't get off work so it was my responsibility to drive to the airport and pick up the Asian. I like referring to him as the Asian. Asian is a fun word to say. Not to mention type. Asian! Asian! Asian! Asian! Asian!

Well, since his flight gets in at 3:00, that meant that I get out of school early! Happy dance!

That night, I could barely sleep. I was thinking about how popular I was going to be at school. The guy would be in all of my classes! That means that I'm the only person he would really know and he would stick to me like glue. Ergo, people would be around me wanting to know about him and the like. Yes, I know I'm shallow.

The next day went by so slow. I was going to be dismissed from class at 2:15. It gave me 30 minutes time just in case I got lost. I tend to get lost a lot. You can ask my friend Valerie. For some reason, known only to the marshmallow god, when I get lost, I tend to find a dead porcupine on the road. Weird, huh?

I got out of class and basically sprinted to my truck. I think I beat the record for the hundred meter dash. I got in my truck and sped out of the parking lot. I swear I was going like 50mph.

After going 10 miles over the speed limit, I finally arrived at the airport. It took forever for me to find the parking lot. I got inside round 2:45.

Better to be fifteen minutes early than fifteen minutes late!

I pulled out a miniature white board from my back pack and wrote 'Tidus' on it. I was prepared to shove it into the face of every Asian I saw.

When the plane landed, I nearly ran to the place where the passengers were to come out. But I was keeping it cool. People started piling out, and the majority were Asians. Let me redefine 'majority.' There were a lot of Asians.

So I did what any typical teen would do. I started screaming at the top of my lungs for Tidus. Man did I get a reaction or what! Heads turned and security charged. I'm sure all the Asians were thinking the same thing: Stupid American.

I'm sorry to say that I didn't have a chance to see if my brilliant plan worked.

My head is still fuzzy from when I was tackled by three, not one, but three security guards. Never say that you're there to blow up the building. They take you seriously!

Well, after the whole mess was sorted out, I went back to the terminal where Tidus should be, and what I saw left me breathless.

His hair was a soft blond and spiky. I was soon lost in his startling blue eyes. He wore a white wife beater.

Man, there should be a law against a shirt that tight!

The shirt showed every single one of his muscular abs. He had on a pair of black basketball shorts and a pair of painfully yellow Nikes.

I had found Tidus.

Squee!

Tidus was standing roughly 50 yards away. I covered that distance in less than 2 seconds. I was running about 90 mph. I imagine it hurt when I tackled the blitzball player.

It was a super glomp.

Poor Tidus. He wasn't braced for such an impact. So, as you can imagine, he went down.

Hard.

With me on top of him.

I wrapped my arms around his waist in a death grip. I was not about to let go. I mean, seriously, this was Tidus!

ZOMG! I'm actually glomping Tidus! He's sooooo HAWT!

I've had a crush on Tidus ever since I started playing FFX. People have tried to tell me that Tidus is fictional, but my mind is unable accept that such beauty and hotness could possibly be a work of fiction.

Tidus lay under my weight a little stunned. Well, wouldn't you if you were just glomped by an insane fangirl?

He tried to sit up, though it was a might difficult with me clinging to his waist. He finally pulled my hands apart and jumped up. He looked like he was about to start running, but he decided to hide behind an Asian instead. The Asian just looked annoyed and started mumbling under his breath. For all I know, he was muttering about the differences between rice pudding and chocolate ice 't try to make a pros and cons list. It goes on forever.

The Asian, fed up with this charade, said some mumbo jumbo crap in Japanese and walked away. I was left alone with Tidus. Poor, poor Tidus. He wasn't going to be able to leave my side for one second.

"Um, are you going to get off the ground?" Tidus asked hesitantly. Then a look of horror covered his face. "Why are you smiling at me like that?"

Indeed, I was smiling. It was a crazy smile. I've been told that when I get a crazy idea, I get this creepy grin on my face. Usually people steer clear of me till it's gone. Too bad Tidus didn't know any better.

"Oh, it's nothing," I said as I stood up. "We're going to have a marvelous time together! I just know it!" With that, I grabbed his hand and towed him in the direction of the luggage shoot thingy-ma-bob.

Once we got his luggage, which was a strange little green and red duffle bag, we headed to my truck. Oh how he was going to just love my driving. FYI, I drive like a mad woman on drugs. I have never gotten in a car wreck, received a ticket, or anything like that. But I do tend to drive a little on the illegal side. Again, ask Valerie for all the horror stories and near death experiences.

Upon arriving to his doom, aka my big shiny four door red F150, I said, "Put your bag in the back and strap it in. I don't want it flying around everywhere." Tidus' face turned a shade lighter as he complied.

I jumped in my truck and revved the engine. Oh, how I love doing that. Tidus got in the passenger seat and quickly buckled his safety device, his only chance for survival.

The ride would be fun. I lived about 45 minutes away from the airport. That meant tons of awkward silences and near death experiences.

It turned out that there were few cars to cut off, no red lights to run, and too many cops to do any wheelies. In other words, no fun.

Tidus had messed with the radio until he found a song to his liking. It was 'Teenagers'. I nearly killed him. I hate that song with a passion. No, wait. Hate is a strong word, and my psychiatrist doesn't like me to use it. Let's just say that I dislike 'Teenagers' with a passion.

On hearing the song, I swerved off the road, nearly taking out an old lady in a wheelchair. I hate having to swerve around old people. Why can't they just move out of the way? By now, Tidus was screaming for his life. I slammed on the brakes and gave the blond a look that would peel paint.

"Change it now." Was all I managed to say.

Still trying to catch his breath, Tidus asked, "Change what?"

"The song, you idiot! Change the freaking song!"

I'm pretty sure I had one of those anime blood vessels on my forehead. And I'm pretty sure it was about to pop. Finally understanding, he quickly pushed one of the random buttons on the radio and the devil's theme song was no more. Being bipolar and all, I smiled and started to sing along with the new song playing, 'Crush' by David Archuleta. I pulled back onto the road and got back up to speed.

So the ride home was… well… interesting. After we got back on the road and nearly died about five times, I got on the highway. I like highways. Don't you? They're nice and straight and have the same speed all the way through. Best of all, not stop signs!

I finally had a real chance to talk to Tidus. You know, about stuff like why he was here in real life. How he got in Japan. And why he was so freaking hawt. So I started off with the most important question of all.

"So do you have a girlfriend?" Hey! I needed to know if the road was clear! Can't blame me for that! Tidus just gave me a blank uncomfortable stare.

If he says that he's in love with a girl named Yuna, I'm gonna kill him.

I haven't always liked Yuna that much. She annoyed me with the fact that she fell for Seymour's obvious lies. Seriously, how could she possibly believe him when he said that it would be better for Spira if they got married? I always thought of Seymour as the pedophile type. Now, don't get me wrong. I like Yuna. I cried at the end of the game because she was alone. But still, she's not my favorite character.

Looking now at Tidus, I saw embarrassment on his face. It had been about a minute since I asked my nosy question. I love being nosy! I got an A in that class! I was about to repeat my question, but he mumbled something unintelligible.

"Say again?" I asked. I really needed to know this!

"Well, there's this girl…" he mumbled a little louder.

It took all my self control not to slam on the brakes and throw him out of the car. Instead, I nodded politely gestured for him to continue.

"It's somewhat... complicated," he said quietly, "Whoah! You're SWERVING OFF THE ROAD! KEEP YOUR HANDS ON THE WHEEL!"

At first I was so relieved that it wasn't official… then he used the words 'somewhat' and for some reason I didn't like that. I took my hands off the wheel so I could reach over and choke him. I kinda forgot that you need your hands on the wheel to steer the car.

My bad.

After I regained control of the car and driving somewhat safely I turned the radio up and sang along to 'His favorite Christmas Story' by Capitol Lights. Man, I LOVE that song! I looked over at Mr. Manly to see if he was breathing okay. He was still recovering from the mild heart attack and the loss of oxygen to the brain from when I had choked him.

Okay, I kinda felt sorry for the dude. He didn't know what was gonna set me off nor how to deal with me when I was a little more than frustrated.

Maybe I should apologize…

Nah!

"I know you're never supposed to distract the driver, but I need to know something," Tidus had finally come out of his stupor.

"Sure, what is it?" I asked warily.

"What are you on?" A wide grin split his face.

"Just a little bit of meth, some coke, and Frosted Mini Wheats."

We both burst into laughter. After that, we talked openly with one another. The ice had finally broken. He asked about my school and what it was like, who my friends were, and, I quote, 'When can we get something to eat?'

There was something I needed to clear up, though. How did he get here?

"Hey, Tidus? How did you get here?" I finally asked. "I mean, you know, out of that game and all."

He just looked at me like I had a third eye. I hate that look. I tend to get that look on a daily basis. Go figure.

"You're kidding, right?"

Okay, girl. Be nice.

"You live in a world called Spira, you play blitzball for the Zanarkand Abes, and you fought and defeated Sin." I explained in the most patient tone I could muster. "How did you get from there to here?"

Something flickered behind those endless blue eyes.

"How the hell did you know all that?" he nearly yelled.

"Never mind that. Why are you here? Why aren't you back on Spira?" I said hurriedly.

Looking away, he took a deep breath. "I faded. I know for a fact that I faded away," Looking back at me there was desperation in his eyes. "But when I came to, I wasn't in Spira anymore. I found myself in Japan. A guy found me and took me in. He was some sort of manga artist and had some money tucked away. He paid for me to go to school and then the opportunity for the exchange program came around. He said it would be a great experience, that I should go. I'd only been in Japan for about three months, but I was restless. I didn't know how to get back to Spira." He paused, "By then, I had found out that my life was a RPG. Final Fantasy X is what they called it. I bought the game and played it all the way through." There were tears in his eyes.

Poor Tidus, he had to relive all the sorrows of his journey and he's not any closer to getting home.

Pulling over to the side of the road, I grabbed his hand in sympathy. "Tidus, I don't know how you got here, but I'm going to do whatever I can to get you back." The words stung me as I said them. Truth be told, I didn't want him to go back.

He doesn't belong here.

Sighing, I glanced over at him. He was staring at me.

"What?"

"Oh, it's nothing." He stammered.

"Oh no you don't!" I kidded as I started to drive again. "Why were you looking at me funny?"

He turned his head away quickly, but I think I saw a blush. "It's nothing. Let's just get to your house in one piece."

I didn't push him. I just laughed and stepped on the gas. But something was bothering me. Well, it had always bothered me.

"Tidus, why the heck do you where those yellow shoes?" You know it bothers you too.

Let me just say this now: Never, ever, diss the shoes.

A look of annoyance covered his face. "It just so happens that these yellow shoes are quite popular in Spira."

Hmm... I don't remember anyone else in the game ever wearing yellow shoes.

"Um... ok..." What else can you say?

"Seriously," he huffed, "Who doesn't like yellow shoes?"

I hate to break it to you, but just about everyone hates those stupid yellow shoes. I'm just curious to how Sora ended up with them. Poor kid.

"Okay... new topic!" I announced.

"Should I be scared?"

"Possibly... yes. Yes, you should." I confirmed.

"Great... Can I pick the topic?" he asked hesitantly.

Why not? Might as well let the kid get in his last words. Buwahahahahahahahhahaha!

Nodding to him, he jumped into a story. Evidently there are some aspects of FFX that the game doesn't cover. Tidus decided to fill me in on a few things. I soon zoned out completely. I was thinking of how Valerie, my bestest buddy in the whole entire world, was going to react to having Tidus living in my house.

"Are you even listening to me?" He snapped me out of my reverie. "I was just getting to the good part!"

I smiled and nodded to him and he continued his little pride filled tale of his bravery. It took all I had not to laugh at his ridiculous words. He told me every little detail. And I mean every little detail. No matter how small and insignificant it may have been. I got the whole scoop. More than once, he emphasized the fact that he was so heroic and courageous. Gag.

The rest of the trip was uneventful. When we finally reached my house, Courage, the cowardly kid, let out an audible sigh.

"Hey! I'd like to see you drive this truck! Wait… that might not be a good idea," I said as I thought it through. He just rolled his eyes and opened the passenger door, eager to be on the wonderfully safe, sturdy ground.

Parked by the curb, I said, "My parents won't be home for a couple of hours. And my little sister is on her way to Japan. That just leaves to two of us." I got out of the car and unbuckled his bag. Tidus warily stepped out of the doom machine, unsteady on his feet. He looked like one of those drunk hobos you see everywhere. I then took his arm in mine and towed him into the house. I only had a few hours till my parents got there. I wasn't real sure what I would do then. I'd probably just lock them in my closet with Ernie.

"My mom said that I should fix you something to eat, so I hope you like spaghetti because that's the only thing I know how to cook!" Seriously, that's all I can cook, that and cereal.

"What's spaghetti?" the Idiot of the Day asked.

Please tell me he didn't just ask that?

I gaped at him, not sure of what to say. Who doesn't know what spaghetti is!? You'd have to live under a rock! Or come from a video game… That might just explain it.

Taking a deep breath I replied, "It's white and stringy, has tons of carbs, and you smother it in marinara sauce."

It didn't help. Tidus had a look of deep thought mixed with confusion. I guess I would just have to show him. I walked to the kitchen and dropped his bag by a stool. I got a pot out of a drawer, filled it halfway with water and set it on the stove. I put the stove on high and waited for the water to boil.

Meanwhile, Tidus seated himself on one of the four stools at the 'island' in the middle of the kitchen. He was watching my every move. I think he was scared I'd light the house on fire or something.

Silly Tidus, I'm only a pyromaniac on Thursdays.

The water finally began to boil. I got the noodles out of the noodle jar, (yes, I have a noodle jar), and got the right amount out. I broke them in half and put them in the pot. I started to stir and watched Tidus out of the corner of my eye.

The silence was overwhelming. So I went over the radio and turned it on hoping that it would end the awkward turtle moment. Of course, people were just talking on all the stations. I hate that. The only reason I listen to the radio is for the music. Not to listen to idiotic people talk about their idiotic lives and how idiotic their day was. Am I the only one annoyed by that?

"Hey, Tidus? Can you stir this while I go get a CD?" I asked sweetly.

"Um, sure. All I have to do is stir?" he replied walking towards the stove.

"Yep! Thanks a bunch! I'll be right back!"

I handed the spoon over to him, and then skipped down the hall to my room. I had the perfect CD in mind. I had a million and one songs on my computer and, in turn, a million and two CDs (don't ask). I had this one with the most random songs on it. But best of all, it had 'Remember the Name' by Fort Minor (The non pa version! aka it had no cussing).

I found the CD under my bed. It was being held hostage by Gertrude, Ernie's girlfriend. After promising Gertrude a bag of Oreos, I finally got the CD. As I stood up with a triumphant grin, I heard a yelp from the kitchen.

Oh crud! Did it boil over?

I ran back into the kitchen to see Tidus standing over the pot, which was now boiling over like crazy. He was holding his hand up close to his face and was blowing on it.

"You idiot! Why'd you let it boil over?" I screamed as I turned the stove down and grabbed the spoon. "Did you burn yourself?" I asked suddenly worried.

What if he's seriously injured? OMG! I burned the star player of the Zanarkand Abes!

Looking over at Tidus, I saw that he was nursing a red splotch on his right hand. "I think it's okay." He said with a grimace.

"Oh, no you don't! Let me see," I demanded. He showed me his hand and I winced. It wasn't bad but he was getting a blister. "Okay, there's a rag under the sink. Get that and then get some ice from the freezer. Wrap the ice with in rag and put it on your hand. You're going to have a nasty blister, but it will go away after a few days." My babysitter instincts had taken over.

After he had done as I said, I took the noodles off the stove. I then got out a strainer and a big plastic bowl. After the noodles had been drained of water, I put them in the bowl and got out two plates, forks, and napkins.

We're going to live without the sauce.

After I set a plate in front of Tidus, he sat down and gazed longingly at the food. He looked as if he would eat about anything. I got the parmesan cheese out and set it on the 'island' and spooned some spaghetti for Tidus, and then some for myself.

"Bon apatite!" I exclaimed happily as I took a bite. I looked over at my guest to see how he was doing. He was eating the spaghetti with his hands!

Primal much?

I glared at him until he looked up. Noodles were hanging from his mouth.

"What?" he asked, his mouth full.

"There's a wonderful new invention. It's called the fork," I stated nonchalantly. "Why not use it?"

That wasn't too bad, was it? lol, if you made it through that, then you are superman incarnate. Please review!

Next Time:

What happens when Tidus accidentally eats my cereal? It's the first day of school for the spunky blond. He meets the infamous Valerie. Will his peace offering work? Or will he fail miserably?