-Episode 1: Welcome to Hell-

-Somewhere in the abandoned UNSC bass, High Ground-

"Welcome to da beach, mon!" said a brown Spartan, known as Dr. Death

"For the last time, we are NOT IN JAMAICA!" replied the yellow Spartan, known as Spoon.

"Fuck you, mon!" said Dr. Death after a long silence

And the next moment all you could here was a shotgun going off and Spoon screaming "Son of a Bitch!"

"What the bloody hell happened now?" asked a gray Spartan in full EVA armor, known as Sigma, as he walked around the corner.

"Oh nothing, mon…" replied Dr. Death

"Let me guess. Spoon "told you off"…"

"…Maybe…"said Dr. Death

"Oh for the love of the queen. Death, you got to stop harming your team-mates, or we'll never take over the bloody world"

"That be Doctor Death, mon."

"*Sigh* What the bloody ever. Anyways, did you finish the machine?" asked Sigma

"That I did, mon. Follow me." Replied Dr. Death

-5 minuets later-

-Valhalla Cannon-

"Check it out mon. I call it "The Really *pause* Big *pause* Death *pause* Ray *pause* Anator"!" said Dr. Death.

"The Really Big Death Rayanator? Don't you think that's a little, I don't know, cliché?" asked Spoon

"Fuck you, mon!" yelled Dr. Death before he shot Spoon…again.

"Ohgodnotagain"

"It was a last minute notice, so get of my case. Ok, mon?"

"Oh god, I hurt in places that don't exist…" moaned Spoon

"Oh suck it up Spoon." Said the gray Spartan. "So Death, how dose this…er…thing, work? That is if it even dose work…"

"You say something, mon?"

"Er…no"

"Alllrrriiiighty then. Well all you have to do mon, is press dis here button, *presses button* And in one minute the world will be ours…"

"Woot!" said Spoon excitedly

"Whoa, whoa, whoa wait a minute…why do we villains always put a countdown on our doomsday devices? I mean it just gives the bloody good guys time to stop us. Why not just fire the bloody thing now and get it over with?" protested Sigma

"Oh you're just worried 'cause you're gay." Said Spoon

"For the last time I'm ENGLISH!"

"Riiiiigght" said Spoon, before Sigma meleed him with his Brute Shot. (Wow, Spoon dies a lot. Doesn't he?)

"Anyways, I wouldn't be surprised if the they would burst through that bloody door right there and stopped us." Said Sigma

Just then, the door busted open and good guys started poring in.

"Go, go, go!" yelled one of the good guys

"See didn't I te-" said Sigma before he got meleed

As one of the good guys through a frag grenade at his feet, Spoon looked down at it and said "Ah shi-", before it exploded

"Well mon, we're boned." Said Dr. Death before he through down a Trip Mine and stepping on it.

One of the good guys ran up to the "The Really Big Death Raysanator"'s control panel and destroyed it, stopping the machine. He turned around to his fellow marines and said

"Good job marines! Now lets head back to the bass for milk and cookies!"

All the goody guys cheered simultaneously and leafed.

"I blame you all…" added Sigma

-END-

A.N: If you haven't guessed this already, Dr. Death is the psycho Jamaican who makes all the machines, Sigma is the British guy who no one seems to understand, and Spoon….well…he's the retard that dies in every episode.

P.s-Originally this story was actually a script for a machinima that I was making with my friends, but was trashed because Carazo had to move. So I had to change a few things to make it a story, so it may not be as good as I hoped. But if you want me to re-write this as the original script, just tell me…