ARGGGGGGGHHHHHH!

Violent swirls of white in every direction, plunging headfirst into god knows where.

"THAT BASTARD ITACHI!"

No, no, no... This cannot be happening again… Not again…..THOSE BLASTED UCHIHAS! HOW? WHY? I – Orochimaru… Destined for greatness… to discover… everything….. How? How could I be… defeated twice… IN A ROW?

"CURSE THIS… THIS UCHIHA CURSE…FOREVER TORMENTING ME!"

oOo

Out in the middle of a city, smack bam in the centre of the crossroad of the busiest intersection at peak hour, something snow white appeared out of thin air.

HONK HONK BEEP HONK DONG DONG "HEY, GET OUTTA THE WAY!" someone screamed as the DONG DONG DONG got louder and closer.

The white figure looked up. ARGGGGGHHHH! It jumped out of the way just as a big white thing with green stripes carrying loads of people made its way past.

"OYYYY! YOU! IDIOT, GET OFF THE ROAD!" Someone yelled.

The white figure's head spun around at the sound. A uh, person? was waving his arms above his head and motioning toward the sidewalk. The white figure understood. But – this scene… What in the world was it?

HONK HONK, "HEY, FUCKING MORON!" A blue metal thing rolled to a stop beside the white figure. A man in a baseball cap stuck out his head. "GET OFF THE FUCKING ROAD, WILL YA?" The white figure narrowed its eyes at all shouting and glared at the man in the cap. "Ho-holy shit!" the guy squealed seeing the figure's expression. He withdrew his head back into the metal thing and disappeared behind a rising piece of glass. "OI!" the man on the sidewalk shouted again.

The figure frowned at all the shit happening all at once. DONG DONG DONG came another big white thing with green stripes. The figure was ready this time, and prepared to jump up onto a tall building some thirty metres away. It focused a healthy amount of chakra in its body, and leapt up. Something was wrong. "WATCH OUT!" someone yelled. The figure only rose about a metre high, before being rammed by the big white thing.

"Oh my god!" a woman called out. "Shit, was that a person?" said someone else. "WHOA IT FLEW TWENTY METRES!" another yelled. "Who IS that?" said a girl. "SOMEONE CALL THE AMBULANCE, NOW!" The figure on the ground stirred. Footsteps sounded and stopped beside it. "Shit man, what the hell happened? Why was this guy in the middle of the goddamn intersection?" said a man. A woman shoved past him. "Get outta the way, I know CPR." The figure caught sight of a red haired woman bending down toward it, before it passed out.

oOo

"No, he got hit by a tram."

"What was he doing in the middle of the road?"

"I've no idea. Witnesses said they saw someone in the centre of the intersection, but no one saw him walk there."

"Seriously? No one's observant these days. Who is this guy?"

"We don't know. No I.D."

"Jeez. Maybe he just woke up. It's late afternoon and he's still in pj's. Maybe he sleepwalks."

"Your guess is as good as mine. Guess there's nothing to do but wait for him to wake up."

"Hey guys! Sorry to interrupt, the police want to know how the guy's doing."

"Concussion. Surprisingly no major injuries from the impact. Only suffered a few grazes and bruises, lucky bloke."

"Oh good, I'll let 'em know."

"She's enthusiastic, that one."

"Sounds like you. All right it's all recorded. Can you stick around till he wakes up? Need the loo."

"Sure."

The figure on the bed slowly opened its eyes. The young man sitting beside the bed rose from his chair.

"Hey pal, welcome back. Let me tell ya, you're lucky to live. Actually, you're lucky to escape any sort of injury really."

A blonde man's face swam into sight. The figure jolted into a sitting position.

"Hey! Relax. Take it easy. Lie back down, you're supposed to rest."

The figure glared at the man causing him to flinch and retreat back to the safety of his seat.

"Anata dare?"

"Eh?"

"Koko wa doko nan da?"

"Heh? Don't you speak English?"

"I said, where am I, you idiot?"

The blonde man's eyes widened. "I swear it man, your voice just changed. A LOT."

"If you don't answer-"

"Okay, hold on a sec. You just had an accident. You're in hospital."

"I know. What is this place?"

"I – You've suffered concussion. Royal Melbourne Hospital."

"Who are you?"

"Uh – trainee doctor, name's Tim." The man smiled. "What's your name?"

"Orochimaru."

"Oro- sorry?" The man flinched again at another icy glare. "Sir, uh- please lie back down, I'll be told off."

The door opened. The blonde man sighed in relief.

"Oh, you're awake." This older guy must be the one in charge.

Orochimaru got out of the bed. "I'm leaving."

"Hey- lie back down in your bed. There's no going anywhere for you for a while. We've got to get this all sorted." Said the older guy.

"You – be very careful how you speak to me."

The older guy raised his eyebrows. "Please don't be difficult, we're only here to help you. Now, if you'll get back into bed-"

"No, I will leave now. Don't try and stop me." With the door blocked Orochimaru walked to the window and opened it. It was faster out this way anyway. The ground was a few storeys below. Shouldn't be a problem. He hoisted himself onto the window sill.

"Hey- hey! Get down from there!" one of the doctors yelled. "Hurry, stop him!"

He would have jumped, but stopped himself. He remembered what had happened before he got knocked by- what did they call it, a tram? It was like his chakra had been blocked. He tried building it up now. His body didn't respond. By now the doctors had reached him and tried pulling him down from the window sill.

"Don't touch me, you fools!" he shrugged them off easily and saw the older doctor produce a needle from his coat pocket. Orochimaru recognised it at once. He grabbed the younger doctor who was beside him and launched him at the older one, who dropped the needle. He tried producing a few snakes to restrain them, but nothing appeared out of his sleeves. He swore. With his chakra blocked, his ability to perform jutsu was lost. Never mind where he was now, his priority was to get out of here. Being powerless, that was very dangerous. Especially in this place that was possibly an entirely different world.

He looked at the doctors and decided to knock them out, or they'd raise an alarm. He wasn't sure what powers they possessed, but from how easily they fell from the scuffle, he guessed they didn't have much. He easily knocked them unconscious hitting the precise spots behind their necks, and stepped over the bodies to close the door. Then he opened the wardrobe and dragged them inside. They just fit. He made his way to the window and looked down again. Wasn't too far. He could probably make it down safely using the ledges and pipes, but there were too many windows and passers-by. A bit risky. He had to be discrete.

Going back to the wardrobe and taking the doctor's coat, he walked out of the room, only to see two people dressed in blue uniform. The corridor was narrow. No way to get past unseen. Unless he knocked them out too. No, too messy. He decided to chance his way out the window.

Taking off the blasted coat, he climbed onto the sill. This would be so easy if only he had his jutsu. Cursing whatever it was he was meant to curse, he dropped down and hung from the ledge. Using the pipes, he scurried his way across, treading lightly and easily. Like a crab. The humiliation angered him. He looked down at the people walking. No one had noticed. The pipeline rose up again there and crossed above a window. No good. He wanted to go down. He decided sill to sill was the best way to go. There was nothing to hold on to in between so he just slid down, letting the rough brickwork graze his hands and feet until they bled.

At last it looked safe to jump. Everything had to be judged differently now, as if on a handicap. His feet hit the pavement, and he ran. He didn't know where – but he thought the further he was from that hospital, the less likely those people would find him. They were bound to discover those doctors soon.

oOo

Orochimaru noticed many faces turn toward him as he ran through what he supposed was a super large village. Even in this place, he attracted attention. But what was it? This place – this – he'd never seen anything like it. It had so many buildings, tall, tall buildings – and the number of people was unfathomable. He'd been everywhere in the world – everywhere – nothing in the entire world looked anything like the place he was in now. He was certain – this was a completely different world, something he had never imagined.

The Totsuka Sword – that had to be the reason. A legendary sword, like his own Kusanagi, the former possessing the power to trap whatever it pierces in an eternal genjutsu state of drunken dreams. And he had been stabbed by it. Doubtless, he was in a genjutsu. He flew through the streets infuriated that he'd been caught in it. But – this illusion – it had a realistic quality to it, somehow. Yet it certainly felt like a dream.

Heads turned, and turned, and people whispered behind hands, some retreated towards the edges of the sidewalk, others gave a wide berth. He didn't let it bother him – even in his world he attracted the stares of anybody and everybody. This world was only an illusion, but their fear pleased him nonetheless. As he ran god knows where his feet and hands started to bug him. He licked his hands free of blood, and thought maybe he should get some shoes.

A clothing shop came into view. He stopped and looked in. Through the window he saw – Was it? His eyes widened in excitement – it looked just like his day-to-day outfit. He walked into the shop and went straight to the long beige apparel hanging on a rack. Yes! Yes! It was perfect, just like his own. The only thing it was missing was the purple rope. No matter, it would do for now.

"Can I help you?" A girl with straight brown hair appeared beside him. How'd she get so close without him sensing it? He spun around to look at her. The girl stumbled back a few steps.

"Do you have a larger size?"

The girl blinked and struggled to find words. "Um-uh what size is it?" She hesitantly inched past him to look at the tag on the item, keeping as much space between them as possible. "I uh- think this is the largest we have. May I ask who it's for?" The girl was trying to soothe her unease by making conversation, it was clear.

"Never mind that, I'll take it."

He took the clothing off the rack, spotted the change rooms in the back of the shop, and walked to it. He closed the curtain and undressed. The piece of clothing had unfamiliar buttons and zips, but he worked them out and put it on. Then he looked in the mirror. It was extremely tight around the waist. Other than that he liked how it looked. He walked out of the cubicle and headed for the shop exit. He couldn't help but notice the girl staring at him. She blurted "Wait!" and he stopped.

"Sir, you do realise that is a woman's dress, don't you?" He looked at her with a blank expression. "Or-or are you trying it for your wife? Or girlfriend? We've had people do that." She continued staring at the dress on him.

"No. This is for myself." He said. "Do you have any shoes?"

The girl stared at him weirdly. "Uh-um, men's shoes? Or women's shoes?"

"Men's, fool."

"Sorry, this shop only sells women's clothing."

He turned his back and headed for the door of the shop.

"H-hey! You have to pay for that!"

He ignored her and walked out, carrying his old clothes in his hands.

The girl's voice shouted out, "Hey! Come back! Someone, shoplifter!"

He turned to see her in the doorway of the shop. She'd got the attention of a few individuals on the sidewalk. She pointed at him, "That man- the one in the dress!"

A young man listening started running at him. "You! Pay for that, cross dresser!" he yelled.

Orochimaru dodged his attack and launched a counter kick that sent the guy soaring headfirst into the shop window. He crashed through and women screamed. Then he saw people taking what looked like electronic devices from their pockets and bags and holding them up towards him. He heard the sound of a camera. Another guy ran at him from behind. He sent a back kick into the man's face. He looked around. The commotion had attracted more people now. His choices were to either fight them all, or get away.

"The cops are coming for you," said an angry woman pushing a pram. He grabbed the woman by the neck.

"If I were you, I would worry about what would happen to that child if I don't shut up."

"Is that a threat?" the woman spat, her wide face red. She was rather unsightly.

He smirked at her. "Or should I just strangle you now?"

The woman choked as her airway was stopped. "Someone stop him!" a person yelled. This time a young woman leapt at him, and he caught her by the neck with his other hand. Then he bashed the women's heads together, and they instantly lost consciousness. Throwing them to the ground, he dashed off, knocking everyone out of his way.

Since he'd arrived, it'd just been chaos, one thing after another. The trouble he was getting into – it amused him. He was beginning to like this world. The only thing was – there were too many unknowns. Everywhere he turned, something happened to him. It was like a massive, cruel joke. That was not a comforting thought in a world where he had no power. He didn't know what abilities these people possessed, if any, but they looked human enough. They behaved human enough. And, he knew their language. This didn't seem like an outer space alien thing. No, this was more like an alternate human universe. A place you would visit in dreams. And, this was exactly that. A huge big genjutsu dream that he knew he couldn't escape from. It was all a part of the Sword's curse.

The people – he didn't know what they could do to him here, say, if he did something illegal. Like taking a life. What were the rules in this world? Memories of the doctors, the dress, the people he'd bashed came to him. Yes, somewhere in there he was sure he had broken a rule. So – could they imprison him? Did they even have the power to do that? Perhaps there were groups like the ANBU under the command of the leader of this gigantean village, people who possessed ninjutsu-like abilities. He couldn't count it out. For now, it was best to keep a low profile, and avoid attention. Not really his style, but what could you do when you were stuck in a strange unknown land without any jutsu?

The best – no, the only thing he could do – was to find out more about this place, why his jutsu wasn't working and – he hoped with all his heart – if there was any way, any small chance at all, that he could break out of this god forsaken jutsu-less, chakra-blocking, chaotic, metal travel-obsessed, mindfucking hellhole of a world.