This Story is dedicated to Astarte Lea who is a better writer than me…..maybe, tee hee
Of sins and sacrifice
Chapter 1
Pain had never ever felt more real than at this moment in time, his entire body ached.
He had definitely been worked over pretty fierce, trying to open his eyes he found he couldn't, the light behind his lids was too bright.
There was large pressure on his chest and it hurt to breathe which usually indicated broken ribs.
He was in a kneeling position with his hands cuffed behind him, though he had no recollection of how he came to be tied up.
All he could remember was being dragged up stairs, just before having the shit kicked out of him repeatedly, then being followed by the most intense pain imaginable which had caused him to black out.
He tried to rise up from his position only to earn him a swift rebuke in the form of a steel toed boot rise up from nowhere and kick him in the stomach.
Knocking the breath out of him and causing even more pain to flair in his already bruised torso.
"DOWN!" screamed a voice in his ear, refusing to do as he was told he tried to get up once more only to get three more to the guts.
"OBEY!" it screamed more insistently this time, acceding to defeat and settling back down on his knees.
Heavy laughter followed the instructions "I'd do as she says ya know"
Gritting his teeth he gradually opened his eyes trying to ignore the intense pain in his stomach as the pupils of his eyes contracted wildly.
As his vision cleared he saw that he was kneeling on a large flat slab of stone while being flanked by the two most annoying people he knew.
"Wakie, wakie Squall" chanted Rajin "It's showtime baby"
"SHOWTIME!" screamed Fujin in her usual unnecessarily loud way.
Seifer's cronies were looming over either side of him, whatever was happening it would not be good.
"What are you morons up to now" muttered squall glowering up at Rajin,
"MORONS!" the boot pounded his sternum yet again,
Rajin took hold of Squall's hair and yanked it back "That ain't nice Squall ya know"
Pulling his head back so far he thought his neck might snap, "You be nice or we might have to cut out your tongue" then pushing his head forward and slamming his knee into Squall's face.
Stars blanketed his vision as he reeled from this latest attack, spitting blood on the floor he glared at Rajin only to see an excited grin spread across his face before turning to face forward.
At this point Squall took it upon himself to survey his surroundings and search for a possible escape.
He looked up to see that he was surrounded by marble statues and columns that flanked either side of the platform they were on.
The whole place seemed familiar somehow, but he couldn't quite put his finger on where he was just yet.
The clouds above them were somewhat ominous looking, full of rain but not quite ready to cry.
There was plenty of lightning and thunder that had begun to grow increasingly louder as time went by.
"Where are we?" he asked preparing himself for another possible assault by Fujin's foot,
"You forget already? man you are slow" replied Rajin with obvious disdain, "just shut up and stay still okay"
Fine, whatever there up to it doesn't matter all that matters is how to get away he thought with growing dread at the unfolding situation.
Looking directly upwards he noticed slanting bars cross the skyline in diamond pattern coming down and linking to the current platform they were on, directly ahead of him were stairs that lead up and split off in different directions, the one on the right lead onwards to the unknown but the left one was broken with a huge chunk of step taken out it.
The familiarity of the place grew as he looked at the ground underneath him, deep markings and grooves were ridden into the time warn stone.
Before he could ponder this more a large black bag was rammed over his head and pulled around his neck, and as he tried to cry out it was tied tightly around his Adams apple with twine.
Growling with displeasure he struggled against this new form of bondage only to stop as he realized that it only made the twine dig in deeper, forcing himself to calm down and use his only available senses.
The bag stank of sweat and somebody's puke, he forced himself to concentrate on the sounds around him as he fought to control his gag reflex.
The situation was rapidly spinning out of his control, he had a feeling it was going to get a lot worse before the day out, he heard fighting sounds and a muffled yell behind him.
Straining to hear more clearly, Squall closed his eyes and steadied his breathing becoming aware of the rumbles in the ground that indicted footsteps or in this case thrashing dragged feet.
More muffled yells were heard becoming drastically more desperate as time went by, the sounds seemed only to be coming from the captive the captors it seems were all business and quite obviously very professional.
A sharp cry was heard as it seemed the prisoner had struck home with one of his feet, and a gruff voice was heard screaming profanities as he dished out his own brand of punishment,
The beating itself was quick but undeniably brutal by the sounds of it, "For fucks sake kid give it a rest!" screamed a rough voice, "it's a good thing were being well paid for this, Galbadia isn't hiring no more" replied a younger more subdued voice.
"Shut up you idiot he'll here you!" replied the first with growing anger, "ahh who cares there both dead anyway, what does it matter" said the other with a cavalier quality.
"It just does you hear me, what if they make it out alive? Huh what then smart ass?"
"Well it's not like I'm telling anything important, lotta people are from Galbadia"
He heard a deflated sigh come from the first "Just keep your god damned mouth shut okay, I want this over and done with so I can go home"
Heavy shackles and chains were rattled as the prisoner was chained to something, "Alright we've done our part, when do we get paid?" asked the first one.
"As soon as it's all over" answered Rajin, "What! You mean we have to sit here and watch this shit?" screamed the kidnapper,
"you want your money then don't you?" smirked Rajin,
He could here grumbling and muttered cursing before the reply "Fuck you asshole, how long is this gonna take?"
"Not long now" said a deeper voice from behind him, the voice was familiar but the bag restricted his hearing somewhat.
"It's almost over" said the stranger as his footsteps grew louder before stopping beside Squall, "Hmmm" was all that was said before continuing.
"Just gotta prep this one before we can have fun" said the voice with obvious enjoyment of the situation and the control he had.
The cruelty and arrogance was dripping through his manner of speech, the kind of person that enjoyed seeing pain.
The sounds of clothes being torn off the prisoner could be heard, and the displeasure at such degradation at the hands of his captor being made plain to hear through more muffled shouts and screams, harsh gleeful laughter followed these outbursts.
"Such spirit, It will be fun to see how long it will take to break you" said the captor with relish, a large moan was heard from the right side of the platform, "Aww for fucks sake man" complained the first thug, "You said it wouldn't take looooong" whined the second.
"It will take as long as I want it to take so shut up and stay out of the way" snarled the mystery man, the thugs fell silent at this but Squall still heard "…fucking bastard" muttered under the first's breath.
"Now then" said the alpha male and Squall heard an audible thud and a shrill scream as the captor punched the prisoner in the ribs, "That's what I want to hear" he screamed with delight as he continued to lay into him.
He hit him even harder as time went on, striving to do as much damage as possible and as it went on the victims screams just seemed to blend and weave together creating a tapestry of agony that permeated the air around them.
After about half an hour it stopped and the only sound left was the sound of ragged panting moans of pain coming from the prisoner, "I think were about done here" exclaimed the alpha sounding exceedingly pleased with himself.
"Everyone enjoying the show" he asked to everyone, "cause it's about to get better"
At that moment a deafening crack of lightning was heard and the rushing of wind filled the area briefly followed by the clip clopping of enormous hooves.
As he was wondering what made the sound the temperature dropped suddenly and an icy voice spoke that chilled him to his very bones, "I see you've been playing too rough with our guest" said a voice that was so undeniably evil it made him want to vomit right then and there.
It sounded female if it could even be called human, but was somehow warped and distorted to an abnormally high pitch that made it hard to listen to.
"I must keep better track of my knight's from now on, you will get your punishment in bed tonight" she said with a large trace smug showing in her voice.
That's when it all fell into place, 'No, not her, anyone but her' Squall thought desperately.
Echoing footsteps moved towards him until she was standing right in front of him, "Stand him up" she gave out a terse order to Fujin and Rajin to which they obeyed immediately, dragging him to his feet and holding his upper arms.
She surveyed him for a second before addressing Rajin "strip him", automatically rough hands tore at his clothes, ripping his jacket from his body and tearing his shirt across the seam.
Squall knew better than to struggle against them he would need all the energy he had to break away and escape this freak show, plus her proximity was draining as it is.
His bare chest received a cold chuckle before another order was given "All of him" at this Squall began to struggle, It would be a cold day in hell that he would willingly be undressed in front of her or anyone against his permission.
He showed himself to nobody, his violent attempts to retain his dignity and pride were met with an equally violent dose of discipline from Fujin kicking him yet again into submission.
While she just stood there watching him "tsk-tsk now this will never do, you must learn your place like all dogs" he tried to throw out a retort but the words would not come he found that he could not summon words to his defense and his resolve to continue struggling was gradually weakening.
The kicks to his stomach took their toll on him and he was completely out of breath, now sucking huge gulps of air that stank of puke and sweat while having his leather pants peeled off him.
"There, now that's much better isn't it" she remarked as his full naked glory was revealed, determined to not let that bitch have too much fun with him so he stood fast trying to ignore the growing humiliation he felt at this spectacle.
"Mmmmm, it's good that you keep your body in such good condition cause it just makes it all the more better for me to defile" she reached out and stroked his chest with her long talon like nails, fighting waves of revulsion and disgust at being touched by something like her he struggled to maintain his outward stoic indifference.
She gradually moved her hand downward making sure to indent her sharp fingers in the most heavily bruised and tender areas of his injuries, he winced as she pushed to deep and created a small incision around his belly button.
She was toying with him he realized, like a cat does before it eats the mouse he was her food, he really didn't think she would mind stooping to cannibalism but he hardly considered her human.
Her continued ministrations had knocked him out of his soliloquy she reached his groin and began to touch him, "Cold out here isn't it" she noted with obvious enjoyment as his maleness shrunk, he could here the kidnappers laughing their asses off at the remark while Rajin guffawed and not even Fujin could manage to suppress a small giggle that escaped her.
It had reached the pinnacle of his disgrace at her treatment of him in front of every one, the only person that remained stoic and calm was the alpha that seemed to revel in the suffering of the prisoner.
"Well I could play with you all day but time is unfortunately rather short" disappointed but determinedly cold in her words she let him go.
As she walked towards the other prisoner her heels resounded all over the platform, the sharp echoing clacks reverberating off the marble columns and balustrades, each step creating an even greater sense of foreboding for the prisoner and squall.
He knew something very bad was going to happen soon and he felt his avenues of flight were sliding shut rapidly.
"Ah our fabled antagonist, my knight has expressed displeasure at your particular frame of character" more distressed muffled sobs were heard,
"I believe he called it 'intolerable'" the alpha laughed at that.
"This is enough of this cloak and dagger business, take off his blindfold let him see the light" she commanded, it was removed with gusto followed by a slap to the face from Fujin probably reminding him to behave or maybe just because she was a megabitch, bit a both most likely.
Once again his eyes were forced to adapt to the harsh light, shaking his head and squinting the figures surrounding him were slowly becoming more than just blurs.
To his right stood the two kidnappers together looking extremely uncomfortable at the turn of events, the older it turns out was Wedge standing there with arms crossed his weight leaning on to his back foot glaring at squall as it seems he had been the reason things had slowed down to a large extent when he could be pissing away his money down at the local pub on cheap scotch and even cheaper whores.
And Biggs was there right next to him hands stuffed in his pockets scuffing the ground with the toes of his boots determinedly not looking in squalls direction, maybe it was because he had some sort of conscience or perhaps he was just simple but guilt was affecting him rather noticeably.
As it turns out after being washed out of the Galbadian army they had seemingly plied their trade at the mercenary game, but up against competition such as SeeD or just sheer ineptitude at soldiering they had taken any old job no matter how low or sleazy it was, kidnap was just another pay day and by the looks of them those days had been rough.
"What the fuck are you lookin' at punk" snarled Wedge through a split lip and severely blackened eye, Biggs began to shift from foot to foot as the remorse had its way with him.
All Squall could do was stare back with disdain, he actually felt pity for them and kinda wished he'd killed them when he had the chance.
Fresh moans of hurt wafting across from the stairs identified the prisoner as the one who was slouched on his knees but his arms were holding him up chained to the supporting columns on either side of him.
Squall could not tell if he was unconscious or not but he received recent abuse in the form of large purple marks and welts on his toned chest, his injuries were way beyond that of Squall's almost every inch of his skin was dented in some way and his jeans and sneakers were caked with dirt and mud.
His head hanging limp on his shoulder and covered in a burlap bag identical to his own obscured his features but something was familiar about him.
A coarse scraping noise cut through the silence as Squall looked up his features knitted with rage as he stared angrily at the man he was going to kill.
And there sat Seifer on the topmost step of the broken stairs on the left running a large whetstone across the blade of hyperion, all with that arrogant smirk plastered across his face.
The blond gave the impression of a relaxed attitude towards the show and had made certain to enjoy it while he could, glancing down at squall with nothing but contempt for him there rivalry had grown way out of just being kids that didn't agree or couldn't stop fighting, they both wanted each other dead in a serious way.
"Ha! I've finally beaten you at something eh shorty" he crowed obnoxiously,
'Typical' he thought, trust Seifer to make light on something at petty as that nothing really has changed he's still the same prick that he always was.
Squall had finally found his voice and with it came a brutal rejoinder "So it turns out you can't stand second to me can you" Seifer's smile vanished "Is this what this is about some stupid competition between us, cause if that's it you truly don't have a life"
Rage blossomed across Seifer's features, his emerald eyes flashing dangerously "What could you possibly know about having a life, you're nothing but a puppet" he spat back at him.
"You can do nothing but swallow orders and follow them like dog you are" his declaration swollen with the long held back resentment at the preferential treatment of his arch nemesis.
Squall could only stare back in disbelief "All I have ever tried to do is the right thing, how can you focus on such a paltry obsession" Seifer narrowed his eyes
"SeeDs strive to make the world a better world, we fight for those who cannot, it is against our very training and creed to seek nothing but glory"
Seifer resumed the sharpening of his blade scowling under his breath as Squall continued
"The individual accomplishments we have are due to strong teamwork and mutual trust between colleagues, our duty is to the Garden first and only" quoting the Garden charter word for word.
Seifer suddenly threw his whetstone against the floor with such force that it shattered into hundreds of tiny pieces, "Look at what your doing right now!" he screamed at him, "the fact that you can quote that crap word for word is proof enough".
"Proof of what?" Squall demanded
"That you aren't worthy of all that your given" looking back at him with rising anger edging into his voice "You have no pride or honor".
"Given? I wasn't given anything, I got everything I have through hard work and discipline, two concepts you could never get through that arrogant crust of yours you wouldn't be such a fuck up would you"
That had done it, Seifer stood up and began walking down the steps slowly his form shaking with barely harnessed fury, "how dare you speak to me like that, you of all people have no right to speak to me that way" he reached the bottom step and walked around the prisoner who had began stir slightly.
Walking towards him he felt the unmistakable rumble of magic beginning to form within Seifer "you look cold Squall" he said as his outstretched gloved hand began to glow from a light orange to a heady crimson.
Rajin and Fujin stepped out of the way just in time "I help with that shall I?" he ginned and the full blow of a fira spell hit him, agony flared within as the very bones inside him were scorched.
He had witnessed and received fira before but this was a whole different game, the intensity was so strong he blacked out for a few seconds only to be awoken by magical burns that gradually faded until there was only soreness remaining.
If a firaga spell hit him with that power behind it would have killed him, what had made him so strong? Grating unkind laughter followed "You see Squall I'm so much more now, more than you could imagine"
"You mean you're an even bigger dickhead than before" Squall muttered through the anguish.
Biggs and Wedge were gob smacked at the display, "you know what, we don't need to be here to y-ya know get in your way so we'll just leave ok" stammered Wedge in an oily voice slowly backing away.
"Stay" demanded Seifer "nobody leaves until it's over", They were not happy to hear this Wedge looked down at his feet and Biggs lip began to tremble as though he was about to cry.
Squall brought too his knees by the pain was swiftly yanked back to his feet by his two guards, "What's power without honor" wheezed squall, Seifer blanched "your powerful so what, your still a pathetic child and I pity you" Squall managed with difficulty.
At these words Seifer didn't even bother with a reply and just walked briskly raising hyperion above his head, "You end now!" he screamed in a bloodthirsty war cry as he aimed for his neck.
"No he does not" stated a cold and sinister female voice from above, the gunblade stopped millimeters from neck at her words the anger and frustration all the easy to see in his eyes at the order.
And that's when he saw her, in all her obsidian glow was the woman that had caused so much suffering in the world, and in his life too and countless others.
Ultimecia was standing on the topmost step of the right staircase wearing the most satisfied expression he had ever seen "It's not for you to decide when he dies my dear knight" smirking in a contented sort of way.
Seifer growled in frustration and reluctantly withdrew the weapon then stood back glaring at him murderously "forgive me mistress" he said with pitiful subservience showing in his voice.
"No matter, as long as you know your place" she began to walk down the steps "which is where?" the large superior smile along her thin lips growing wider.
Seifer's gaze dropping slightly and his expression softening to something akin to shame "at the foot of your bed" he replied obediently, Squall had never heard self pity sound so pronounced in someone's voice before, it was really quite jarring that someone as arrogant as Seifer could sound so wretched.
Squall leant closer to him "she keeps you on a short leash huh? What a poor little puppy you are" he sneered, Seifer's expression hardened and his face turned a trite shade of pink he blushed as the remark got to him.
"Yes I do" she answered as she had descended to their level "they become troublesome if given too much leniency" as she stood beside the prisoner.
Squall felt he might burst out laughing at this, the mighty Seifer brought down to the level of a mere pleasure slave, "So what's all this about? Why are we here?" Squall called out biting his lip to keep from grinning.
She smiled indulgently "because of you, my knight does not like you and if something makes him unhappy, I by comparison am not happy" pausing to beckon Seifer forward with a long pointy index finger.
Seifer wanted Squall dead but settled on spitting in face before returning to his mistress,
"What do you want" Squall asked as saliva slid down his cheek,
"To take away what's most important to you" Seifer had knelt beside her and she looked very pleased with herself.
Squall snorted "And what may I ask is that"
Christmas has come early for Seifer walking over to the prisoner "This" he exclaimed pulling off the bag that covered the captives face.
Squall's blood froze as he saw who had been there, suffered brutalities, torture and degradation while Squall just listened impassively.
Blond hair in his trademark plumage, slim features and a wicked tattoo over porcelain skin.
Zell Dincht it seemed was the most important thing to Squall Leonhart.
"No" Squall whispered as his chest tightened uncomfortably at the sight of Zell stirring and rattling his chains slightly at the movement, "What the fuck is this!" screamed Squall in indignation.
"A gathering perhaps" smiled Ultimecia, "always good to get together now and then" Squall felt sick….really sick, the bile was rising at the sight of such an insult to his friend's honor.
"But…..why?" demanded Squall his choler rising,
"Well I'm doing this to make him happy, got to keep my pets content or they might run away" cooed Ultimecia as she stroked the back of Seifer head affectionately, Seifer flashed the biggest shithead smug grin Squall had seen.
"Wait, what are you going to do to him?" Seifer's grin became wider "Kill him" he said simply.
Squall stared in horror as Seifer took hold of Zell's hair and slapped him repeatedly to wake him up.
With a grunt he opened his eyes groggily and managed to raise his head slightly, looking around and wincing slightly he spotted Squall and formed a weak smile.
"Yooooo Sssssquallll, wahhsup" he slurred his words like he was drunk "Hey hey eh Squall, whyru nekid man" he burst into a fit of giggles at his sentence.
Squall frowned "What did you do to him?"
"Oh just a little something to keep him lucid" said Seifer pushing a lock of stray hair out of Zell's eyes "you of all people know how overly energetic the chicken can be strutting around the place, I just grounded him keeping him in a more manageable state".
"Drugs" scowled Squall
"LSD to be precise, gotta give it to those hippies they sure know how to fuck someone up" chuckling as Zell looked at him with glazed eyes.
Before he could reply an enormous crack of thunder rocked the area and the wind returned blowing dirt and leaves into his face, as soon as it had started it was over and the hooves returned only this time Squall could see who they belonged to.
On a tiered platform high above them was Odin the GF sitting upon his massive destrier and staring down impassively at the drama unfolding below him.
Ultimecia clapped her hands and bowed to him "Our most gracious host I must thank you most generously for the use of your temple, I cannot think of a better place for our sacrifice" she simpered disgustingly.
Odin remained silent only nodding in response, Squall on the other hand could not believe it this was why it felt so familiar to be here, the time they defeated Odin was here in his temple.
"Why" he pleaded "Why are you allowing this to happen, help us please" Squall implored putting all his emotion into his words.
Odin just looked back without feeling "I belong to no one" he rumbled menacingly "consider this repayment for my services" crossing his arms across his broad armored form.
"No!" he yelled looking around desperately for some kind of salvation, Wedge had crossed his arms and looked down with his eyes closed just trying to shut out the whole ugly situation, while Biggs was on the ground and had hugged his knees to his chest and began to rock back and forward on the spot.
He glanced up at Rajin only to see a face of easy calm and a carefree grin, turning to Fujin just to receive a cold indifferent glare from the one eyed girl.
"The time has come" announced the sorceress with glee "Do it my knight and make sure to enjoy every moment" she ordered flashing pointed teeth at Seifer.
Seifer positioned himself behind Zell who was still giggling madly
"No! Please please, take me instead you don't have to do this" Squall implored desperately.
"Oh but I know" he replied "say goodbye Zell let us know what heaven's like"
Zell who was nearly out of breath could only reply with "Man wha-"
Before his words were cut short as hyperion's tip emerged through his chest then followed by a horrific gurgling sound as blood ran from his mouth.
"Squaaagggghhh" and then Squall saw the light fade from within his eyes.
His blood ran cold "Nooooooooooooooooo!"
Tangled up in his sheets Squall struggled against his captors, eventually tearing them apart in his desperation.
Sitting up and leaning over the side of the bed only to vomit all over the floor, he kept throwing up until there was nothing left in his stomach before crawling back up and leaning his back against the headboard.
Dear god it was just a dream, an incredibly real feeling dream that caused physical revulsion at the thought of it, wrapping the remains of his bed sheets around him as he fought to stop his body from shaking.
Closing his eyes he tried to clear his mind only to have the image of Zell die burn onto the back of his retinas, "just a dream" he repeated "just a dream".
Glancing at clock radio on his bedside table and checking the time "4:01" great, knowing he never get back to sleep not that he wanted to, honestly he was scared he would relive the entire thing all over again.
Taking a deep breath and gagging slight from the bile on his tongue and acutely aware of his growing need to use the toilet, he untangled himself from his sheets and padded to the attached bathroom.
After relieving a full bladder he brushed his teeth thoroughly and rinsed his mouth with mouthwash gurgling quickly as the noise reminded him of Zell's death rattle.
Splashing his face from the sink he then stared into his grey blue eyes as water dripped off the errant strands of hair framing his face "What was it all about?" he said aloud.
Zell Dincht an enthusiastic boy that just tried to make everybody happy and a close friend of his, but Squall knew that his friendship with Zell was turning into something different.
Squall had found himself more and more attached to the small martial artist every day, and caught himself staring at him during the time that they spent together.
Finding excuses just to talk to him or train together late at night, he had begun noticing how their combat styles complimented each other.
With Zell coming in and assaulting directly leaving the foe for Squall to finish off, admiring the he moved with lithe grace but startling speed and brutality not to mention the way the hair on the back of his neck stood up when Zell was truly angry and his blood was up.
He had never had these feelings about anyone before and it was a new and frankly disturbing phenomena, it somewhat took away from the lone wolf demeanor that he had carefully perfected so as to keep others from getting close to him.
Remembering what was said in the dream "What is most important to you", was it true? did Squall love Zell? a foreign concept and a ludicrous idea.
He was his friend it didn't go any further than that, covering his face with his hands he sighed as he felt the beginnings of a headache creep across his temples.
He removed his hands and looked at his reflection only to see a blood stained Zell looking back with cold dead eyes in an accusing stare.
Squall screamed and slipped on the tiles banging his head against the door, shakily getting to his feet he cautiously looked over the vanity seeing nothing but a scared version of him peering back.
He ran into the living room and bolted out the door after grabbing the all purpose skeleton key card that was issued to him when he became commander, he had to know if Zell was alright he felt a tightness in his chest and a strong urge to cry.
Squall had been kidding himself and the feelings that had been growing over the past years, he did love him more than anything he could imagine.
Skidding around the corner and running to Zell's dorm, jamming the keycard in and fumbling with the doorknob he burst into his room.
The room was pitch black compared to the soft lighting of the garden hallways, walking blindly arms outstretched he found Zell's bedroom and opened it softly creeping in as best he could.
Unfortunately he didn't see Zell's T-board leaning against his bed and tripped over it landing with a loud thud on the floor of his immaculate room.
Zell who would seem somewhat careless when it came to some duties was somewhat different at night as he was a light sleeper,
"Neh, wha wha I'm up, oo's there?" as he scrabbled for the lamp on his dresser drawer, turning it on and looking around blinking rapidly to try and clear his vision and ready himself for a possible fight.
Looking down only to see Squall in a heap on his floor staring back at him in embarrassment,
"Squall?" he blinked "What are you doing on my floor?" he asked sleepily.
Squall stood up quickly rubbing the back of his neck and looking sheepish "I uh…had a dream" he replied lamely.
"OK and?"
"You were in it, we were in it" feeling more and more stupid by the second.
Zell narrowed his eyes "so you came down here at.." Pausing to glance at the clock "4:30 in the morning to tell me about a dream?" peering questioningly at him.
"Well it felt really real you know and I just …." trailing off as he realized how cute Zell looked in his green and white striped pajamas and sleep mussed hair all messy and stuck up, Squall felt a bizarre urge to brush it out of the way of his eyes.
Zell suddenly yawned and shook his head to try and wake up, "well couldn't it wait till morning?" he asked as he pulled off the covers and moved so that he was leaning against the headboard in a further attempt to wake up.
"There was something else I needed to tell you" Squall started as his palms began to sweat, he hastily wiped them on his pant legs.
"Hm" replied Zell who closed his eyes and lifted his knees up to his chest so his arms were leaning on them, Squall suddenly felt guilty about waking him up so early.
"I like you Zell" feeling butterflies swim in his stomach and his heart began to beat faster,
Zell opened an eye and peered at him quizzically "I know, I like you too that's why were friends" failing to stifle a huge yawn that erupted from within.
What I mean is that I feel like I lo …." Trailing off as Zell had begun to nod his head back and forward in a way that Squall found adorable.
"I mean, I uh…" playing with the loose hem on his pajama bottoms he realized he couldn't take much of this anymore.
"C'mon Squall, what's on your mind baby" Zell said growing impatient,
Squall's heart skipped a beat at this and responded by leaping at Zell, pinning him to the headboard and kissing him furiously.
The closest Squall could describe this as was heaven which was made even better by the fact that his feelings were finally being set free, he was kissing the person he loved most.
He had never experienced anything as good as this felt right now, such passion and even desperation was being poured into this contact.
He would've kept going but he needed to breathe, he released Zell and gazed into his electric blue eyes which were now widened with shock "I love you" he murmured cupping his face and running his thumb over his tattoo.
Zell could only stare back in amazement into his grey blue ones, "That's quite an honor Squall" he said in a bemused fashion.
Pausing for a few seconds "but I just don't feel what you feel man" he said gazing uncomfortably up at him.
Squall froze in horror, feeling sick again he scrambled off him and on to his two feet slowly backing away "I'm sorry Zell I …." then ran to the door and out into the corridor.
He could here Zell calling after him "Squall wait don't go!"
Squall just kept running trying so hard to stop the hurt from welling up inside, running until back in his room slamming the door then falling against it and sobbing madly.
Total rejection, from the one person he had ever opened up to, it just hurt so much a horrible aching within like his very heart was within a vice.
He had to make it go away as he looked over and saw his gunblade case, walking over to it kneeling then opening it, running his fingers over the emblem of Griever emblazoned on its side.
Emptiness and despair was all that filled him, but Zell was the only thing on his mind as picked up the gunblade and ran it across his wrists.
The punching bag was being brutalized severely, almost being thrown off its hinges by fierceness of Zell's punches.
He was pissed off, with himself mainly due to what he said was so insensitive to Squall and the way he hadn't seen it sooner.
Cursing himself for the thousandth time at what a jerk he was he finally kicked the bag so hard it's seem had split spilling sand all over the floor.
"Fuck" he shouted in rage at the mess he now had to clean up.
Staring down at the sand piling on the floor he was reminded of an hourglass and the rapidity of the sand pouring gave him chills though he had no idea why.
So Squall was gay, Ok but why for him? Zell didn't think much of himself but when Squall had kissed him it didn't necessarily feel bad.
He sighed discontentedly and looked around his room, noticing that Squall had forgotten to take his keycard with him, checking the clock it was 5:01.
He stripped off his glove got changed and headed out the door with the card, mulling over what he was going to say to him when he saw him, how do you fix something this complicated?.
Almost passing his door without realizing it he stopped just before entering, taking a deep breath he pushed the card in only to find it wasn't locked. Odd he thought.
He stepped inside "Look Squall I'm sorry about what I said can we ta…" but then stopped as the smell of copper and the sight of his best friend unconscious and bleeding from the wounds on his wrists which had stained the gunblade and the carpet around his body.
Ice ran down his spine "Oh no no no, please man no" he panicked as he fell to the floor and checked Squall's pulse, it was incredibly weak and he was still bleeding.
"Shit Squall don't die on me man, I not worth it" he begged as he wrapped the torn pieces of sheeting around the cuts to stop the bleeding.
He then lifted the limp form of Squall onto his shoulders and moved as quickly as the weight of carrying him would allow in the direction of the infirmary.
All he could do was pray that it wasn't too late.
To be continued…………
Whooooaaaa, cliffhanger bet you weren't expecting that.
I wrote this story because I was inspired by orange box portal, I don't get it either.
Also I have discovered that I am a total review whore and if you don't review I will hunt you down.
I am actually not quite sure where I want it to go so any ideas would be appreciated.
Go Aussie yaaaaaaarrrrgrgggrgrrh!