Summary: This takes place as though the second half of New Moon had never happened, no Eclipse/Breaking Dawn. Alice & Bella had traveled to Volterra to rescue Edward, but he had never actually been there or intended to kill himself. A distraught Bella Swan flees the country after her high school graduation to attend school in Italy, but it's only a cover story for what she has planned. The Volturi give Bella a new path of life to follow, something she could have never imagined. Rated T(a high T, almost M perhaps) for violence and sexual things. Been mulling over this in my head for awhile, first chapter was kind of hard to write, because I didn't exactly know how to start the story...bear with me, let me know what you think. It's been awhile since I've done any writing, never done Twilight fanfiction. We'll see how this goes.

PS: Chapters are all named for the song I listened to while writing it, or a song that reminded me of the ongoings in the chapter. ;)

A/N: This is pretty short, and this and the first chapter are kind of...rough. I didn't really know how to lead into the story I wanted to write about, and I'm still mulling over a few ideas I want to take this in. Reviews/ideas are appreciated!

Prologue: Dark Blue

"I have, I have you breathing down my neck, breathing down my neck. I don't, don't know what you could possibly expect under this condition so I'll wait, I'll wait for the ambulance to come, ambulance to come pick us up off the floor. What did you possibly expect under this condition?" - Jack's Mannequin

"Of course I'll always love you... in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm...tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human. I've let this go on for much too long, and I'm sorry for that."

"You're not good for me, Bella,"

"Take care of yourself,"

The memories of that would haunt me for the rest of my life.

"Take care of yourself,"

His words seemed meaningless now, as I slept with my head on Alice's shoulder, the plane's engine rumbling beneath us. Take care of myself? I blinked back angry tears, how could he expect me to take care of myself when he wouldn't even do it for himself? Alice was flipping through a well worn magazine, but I knew she wasn't paying attention to what it said. We had both been fooled, for a reason it seemed that neither of us could figure out. We'd been so sure that we were going to Italy to save Edward from certain death, but he wasn't there at all, had never planned to follow through on his thoughts to kill himself and was probably halfway across the world by now. In some ways, I was relieved. I didn't know if I could handle seeing him again, being let down again, the recovery process would be too much to handle a second time. I wouldn't let him do that to me again.

For the first time since he'd left me all those months ago, I held a new outlook on my life. I wouldn't let him do that to me again. For the first time, I realized that I had a shred of control over how I let my experiences effect my life.

I recalled vividly the exchange we'd had with the Volturi, vampire royalty. Their leader, Aro, had ben peculiarly fond of me, even offering me a place among them should I choose to become a vampire. The possibility of such a thing had never been so close and had it not been for Alice's swift and vapid denial, I might not be on a plane back to Washington at the moment. I kept my eyes shut and my breathing even as we flew, my thoughts racing a million miles an hour.

"Bella," Alice said quietly, her voice genuinely startling me into an upright position. "Are you dreaming?" Her voice was concerned, and managed an amazingly convincing portrayal of sleep. My eyes were swollen from crying, so it wasn't hard.

"Yea, sorry," I told her, but she eyed me suspiciously. I replaced the side of my face to her shoulder and closed my eyes again, falling asleep into a far too vivid dream land.

I didn't wake up until I was in my own, familiar bed in Forks. Charlie was seated in my computer chair, watching me calmly, a stack of papers in his hands, brandishing them in my face. "Why didn't you tell me, Bells?" He asked, his eyes sunken from lack of sleep. I stared back at him, not understanding.

"What? Tell you what, Dad?" I rubbed the sleepiness from my eyes and tried to sit up in bed, overcome with exhaustion and a heaviness in all of my limbs that I didn't quite understand. I blinked into the light, yawning and forcing myself upright, pulling my legs into my chest and wrapping my arms around them. I cleared my throat. "Tell you what, Dad?" I asked again, this time with more control and an alertness that hadn't been there before.

"Tell me that you were planning to go to school in Italy," He answered, and my eyes nearly fell out of my face, leaning across the gap between us to snatch the stack of papers out of his hand. A brochure. An acceptance letter. This was mind boggling. I couldn't understand any of it. I ripped open a sealed envelope with sudden curiosity. A scholarship announcement letter, signed by the financial counselor; Alicia Coolen. No way.

I couldn't form words. "I-I-I..." How was I going to explain this, I didn't even have a way of making sense of it. Alice had told me I needed to take my life other places, that I needed to forget him and live as though he didn't exist. It had broken my heart at the time, but after my decision on the plane, to overcome...this all seemed like a more plausible idea. I would not let him do that to me again. "I got in?" I managed, and Charlie narrowed his eyes at me. Good thing I really was in shock, it wasn't too difficult to make Charlie believe that I was surprised to get in. Really, really surprised to have gotten in. Alice had given me an out, a way out of my painful home town. Her last gift to me, which I was almost as thankful for as I was confused about. Either way, it didn't matter. I knew exactly how I was going to use it.