AN: New story! Oneshot with JokerXHarley and hints of HarleyXPammie. Hope you enjoy! And review...

Disclaimer: I own nothing, DC owns all of this(:

Harley spun around the office, pretending to be a ballerina, while in the corner, the Joker scribbled at his desk. Her long blonde hair hung free, whipping through the air with her twirls. She was wearing gray sweatpants and a red tank top.

"Take a break already, Puddin'!" She exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air. "You've been working for hours!"

The clown growled, not once looking up from the blueprints. "I have to get this done, Harley." She watched his concentrated look, with his green locks swept back carelessly. It was intoxicating. His collared shirt was fitted, with the sleeves rolled up, and showed his lean muscles, pale and scarred.

She lept over to where her boyfriend was, sliding to a stop in behind him. Throwing an arm across his chest, she leaned in close to examine the writing. She noted the messy scrawl. "Your handwriting isn't too good Mistah J!" Harley giggled. Her hand started to creep to the buttons of his shirt. The Joker tensed, and had he been a dog, his hackles would have risen instantly.

"Leave me alone." He stated calmly, painted face blank.

His harlequin did not listen, only leaning down further to bite his earlobe and-

"GODDAMMIT HARLEY!" The criminal mastermind snarled, jumping out of the chair, causing his girlfriend to be thrown backwards. She landed on the cold, hard floor with an "Oomph!" and glared at him angrily.

"What was that for?!" She huffed, picking herself up from the concrete and rubbing her backside.

The Joker shot forward, backhanding the blonde quickly, and she fell once more. "You never listen!" He screamed. Hands clenched into fists.

Downstairs the goons flinched when they heard the bellowing. They did not care about the abuse Harley received, only the mood swing of their boss that would likely follow.

A swift kick to the gut sent his former therapist airborne, and she crashed into a pile of boxes, and she laid there, whimpering, knowing he had just started.

The clown tipped his head to the side, white face thoughtful. He licked his lips. "You have been naughty, haven't you? Disturbing Daddy while his genius is at work! Oh, Harleycat, would a spanking even suffice?"

"J-" Harley wrapped an arm around her stomach. "Please, I'm- I'm sorry!"

He leaned down. "Sorry doesn't cut it, Pooh." He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her to her feet. "A timeout might be in order." The dangerous grin lit his face.

The people a block away heard the shattering of glass and the feminine scream that accompanied it.

xxx

Falling from a two-story building would render most people useless. But after all the run-ins with the Bat and cops, and of course the beatings from her own clown, Harley had a high threshold for pain. But even then, as a cut on her forehead dripped with blood, compromising her sight, she could not move, still hoping he might send one of the goons to take her back in and clean her up.

Half an hour passed and she was still alone.

And so Harley Quinn dragged herself up, and leaned against the Dumpster, closing her eyes and wishing someone would come and save her. She had no phone, and no money, not even a few coins. What was she supposed to do? Going back into the house would ensure an even more severe beating.

In that moment, Harley hated the Joker so much she wished she had a gun, or anything that would cause him some pain. But no matter what degree of harm she inflicted on him, it would never equal the amount he had made her suffer. That was the beauty of it, she thought. He hurt her again and again, and she could never get her revenge. He was a psychopath. Insane. He did not feel. Unless it was lust or anger or arrogance, he had no other emotions.

He was a control freak, and immediately a plan came to Harley's weary mind. If she left him, he would be upset no doubt. And depending on who she stayed with, he had the potential to go completely berserk.

She limped away into the darkness, with a wicked grin upon her innocent features.

xxx

When Pamela Isley had finally slid shut her ccurtains for the night and gotten under her cozy covers, she closed her eyes, ready to dream about her babies.

Knock, knock, knock "Pammy!" knock, knock, knock "Pammy!" knock, knock, knock "PAMMY!"

"Oh dear God..." The female supervillain groaned, "BE THERE IN A SECOND!" She yelled loudly, rubbing her temple and sighing.

As soon as she unlocked the door and pulled it open, she was met with a dreadfully bloody Harley Quinn.

"Red!" Her best friend crowed. "It's good ta see ya!"

But the look on Poison Ivy's face was one of horror as she surveyed the damage. "What the hell, Harley?!" She pulled her inside and slammed the door shut. Her cheeks burned as she gritted her teeth. "I'm going to kill him, I swear-"

"No, Red, I just-just came here to recover, yanno? I need a bit of time away from Mistah J."

"No, you know what you need? You need to be kept away from the monster. He's ruining you!"

"Can I just lay down, maybe?" The blonde dropped her gaze to the floor. "I hurt all over." She explained what had occurred.

Pamela's motherly nature kicked in, and she guided the child-like woman to her room, an arm around a shoulder. "Shhh, shhh, Harl. Pammy'll fix what that nasty clown did." Unfortunately for Harley, the lighting in Poison Ivy's room was much better than in the hallway. She cringed when Ivy screeched. "Your poor face! Oh my God!" The left side of her 'patient's' face was practically purple, swelling rapidly. "How did you even manage to get here?"

"I hitched a ride..."

"For free?" When Harley looked away, she knew. "You did not." A chuckle rose in her throat.

"I had to! They would have, you know..."

"Men." Pam shook her head in disgust. "Pigs!" She was glad her friend had rid the world of a few more monsters.

She sat on the edge of the bed and stared at Quinn. "Why, Harls? Why do you do this to yourself? You deserve so much better than a man who beats you for no reason!"

"It was my own fault. I disturbed him while he was working. He loves me! My Puddin' cares. You know it's true!" Tears seeped out of her right eye.

"Oh, you tried talking to him while he was working so he threw you out the window. That makes perfect sense, Harls! We could even argue that you deserved it!" Maniacal laughter erupted out of her. "Why are you so stupid? You could have anyone and you pick that fucking freak with issues!"

Harley slapped Pamela. Rage burned in her heart. "Don't even say that!" She hissed. "He is not a freak. I love him."

"I'm sleeping on the couch." Ivy said, raising a hand to her cheek. It hadn't hurt, really. But the fact that it was Harley of all people who had done so... "Goodnight."

She turned away, feeling a sick stab of anger and jealousy course through her. Her fingers curled into fists. "But I love you!" She whispered desperately. And so both Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn cried themselves to sleep that night.

xxx

It was morning and the Joker rose, stretching his arms high over his head. He smacked his lips and swiveled his head to the left, ready to see his harlequin gazing at him with big, adoring baby blues. But she was not there. "Harley-?" He called before he remembered.

The clown groaned. "Rocco!" He shouted.

The big brute of a henchman appeared at the door, looking at the ground. "Yeah, Boss?"

"Go get Harley and bring her in." He waited as the goon left, and when he came back empty-handed, his boss's eyebrows went up. "Didn't you hear me? I SAID GET HARLEY!"

Rocco flinched at the yelling and held up his hands. "But Boss! She ain't outside nowhere!"

"Goddammit." The Joker sent Rocco away, then threw on his suit. He could not find his socks. Bud and Lou came in, slobbering and barking hungrily. "I don't have food for you! Your damn mom just took off." He jumped a mile in the air as Lou snapped at his foot. He sprinted out of the room with his shoes in his hands, and slammed the door behind him. He charged downstairs, slipping the spats on hurriedly.

Outside, it was windy, and the Joker cursed under his breath once more. He went around the side of the building to where Harley would have landed, and found many dried blood spatters. It created a trail, which he followed like a hound, going for two blocks. He noted, impressed, how far she had gotten. From the amount of blood he had seen, it would not have been an easy task for the small woman.

When the lead stopped next to the road, he whipped out a phone. "Come pick me up two blocks from the house."

Henshaw pulled up right next to his boss, and the Clown Prince of Crime hopped in, pushing his henchman into the passenger's seat. "Harley, Harley, Harley." He muttered, throwing a hand through his still-messy hair. "You should have waited for me."

xxx

Harley slowly opened her light blue eyes, adjusting to the bright sunlight streaming in. She started to get up before she felt the pain in her chest. Broken ribs? Likely. She could usually endure the pain at first, but eventually it begun to take its toll. She laid back down, glancing at the plants surrounding her. Ivy and her babies. And speaking of babies, Bud and Lou were probably starving. The Joker was not used to having to take care of her girlfriend's huge hyenas.

"Red?" She managed to get out, flailing a hand around. "Red!" She called, and the auburn vixen appeared at the doorway, silent. Her lips pursed.

"I'm sorry 'bout last night." Quinn mumbled. "I shouldn'tve slapped ya'. It's just, yanno, Mistah J-"

Pamela sighed and went to her best friend's side, then stroked her hair gently. "It's alright, Harls. I know. I just wish you would stay in one piece." She stood up. "I'll be right back."

She came back with pancakes chock full of chocolate chips on a tray, along with bacon and water. Harley's eyebrow raised. "No juice?"

"That has apples or oranges in it." Isley explained apologetically. She laughed as the injured girl attacked the food, as if she hadn't eaten in days. Which, knowing the clown, was possible. Heavy pounding at the door made them both look up, confused.

"I'll get that." Pam said, and got up once more. She hoped to God it was not the police. She wondered who would have tipped them off.

As soon as the door was unlocked, it swung open, almost smashing her in the face, to reveal the Joker, clad in his signature purple, with two henchmen behind him. "Morning, Plant." He sneered, pulling a gun from his pocket. "Now where's Harley?"

Pamela glared at him. "She's not here, clown. Why, did you throw her out again?"

"She's here. She always goes running to you, right? You're her 'best friend'. And that's all you'll ever be." He hissed before bursting into laughter. He could plainly see that the weed had feelings for his Harley, and continuously teased Ivy since he was her crush's number one.

"Shut up!"

"Rocco, Henshaw." He swept a hand around. "Search the place, tell me when you find her." They obeyed, pushing past the apartment's owner, despite her protests.

"Boss! She's over here!" He heard Rocco say, and he strode quickly to Ivy's bedroom.

"At least hide her next time!" The Joker chuckled. "You make it too easy."

"Mistah J?" Harley asked, cautious, from the matress. ""Whatcha doin' here?"

"Getting you back, Pooh. Your houseplant tried to stop me." Her boyfriend sidled to where she was, stooping down to whisper in her ear. "You better come with me, little girl, or Daddy will be very upset." The warning was laced with both aggression and sexual tension.

The Joker wanted to get her away from Poison Ivy as soon as possible. Whenever the pair spent time together, Harley started to get notions of independence, and it became annoying as it affected their sex life. Plus, he had no idea what they got up to, all alone in the apartment. Frankly, the thought of Harley having sex with another woman was enticing, but this woman disgusted him beyond belief.

"Mistah J, I don't know if that's a good idea. I can't even get up. My ribs..."

"Your face too." She flushed with shame, and Pamela snarled from behind him. "It's okay, we can patch you up at home."

"It really hurt, babe." She murmured. "Red'll take care of me."

Pamela gave a satisfied sound. "You heard her, freak. She wants to stay with me. Not you."

The clown ignored her. "Baby, you think shoving her tongue down your throat is healthy? Daddy doesn't want his little girl tainted by such a nasty, poisonous weed." He purred, puckering his lips at her. He watched as she became torn over what to do. "I'll draw a bubble bath for you." He offered, but inwardly vowed against it. "And we can watch Disney Princess movies. I know they're your favorite!"

"And eat Ben & Jerry's?" She asked innocently, widening her eyes before wincing at the pain.

"Of course."

"Harley, don't listen to him-"

"Quiet!" He roared.

"Okay." She whispered. Poison Ivy's face was darkening quickly. "Pammy, I'm sorry! He won't hurt me this time-"

"This time?" She snorted. "He should never hurt you." The plant-lover shook her head. "One day you're going to regret all this. But I won't be able help you then."

"Goodbye." The Joker said curtly as he swept up his little harlequin in his strong arms, bridal-style. She leaned against his shoulder and closed her blue eyes.

"Thanks, Red. I wish I was a better friend."

"I wish you two weren't friends at all." The Joker grumbled. Harley pet his green locks soothingly.

Pamela shook her head as she watched the lovers go. She knew she'd be seeing her friend, freshly cut and bruised once more, in a month or so.

xxx

"Here you go." The Joker said cheerily, tossing a pint of Late Night Snack at his girlfriend, who lounged on the couch quietly. He plopped next to her, reaching an arm around to rest across her shoulder, but she flinched.

"Puddin'-"

"Oh yeah..." He responded and retracted the limb. "It's that bad?"

"Pretty much." She munched on the ice cream and returned her attention to Beauty and the Beast.

The clown gazed at the screen, watching Beast and Belle dance together. "Why don't you ever watch good movies?" He asked.

"This is a good movie, babe."

He snorted. "Sure." He got up and paused it. When Harley looked at him in dismay, he explained, "Bubble bath? Remember?"

"Oh yeah!" She grinned and started to follow him into the bathroom.

A few moments of bliss were worth the days of pain.

AN: Please share your feedback and comments with me! Thanks (: