Dream: I'd just like to say that: THIS WASD IFFERENT'S IDEA.
Different: :3 Thanks. It just came to me. And I wanted to write it. And you offered to help. :P
Dream: More like you screamed in chat: "LET'S WRITE IT TOGETHER! I LOVE TO BASH WALT." Or something along those lines. :P
Different: xD It's fun. And therapeutic.
Dream: You did most of the writing.
Different: ...maybe. But you still helped.
Dream: Mhm. I was kind of the beta here.
Different: Thanks, by the way.
Dream: Welcome. So, people, read on if you like angsty!Walt.
Different: AND JALEX! ...if you know what that is. ANYWAY. DEPRESSING!WALTER AHEAD, WHOM WE DO NOT OWN. ALONG WITH JAZ. BUT SHE OWNS ALEX.
Dream: SHE as in Alex is my OC. But if you want to be literal, Jaz owns Alex romantically.
Different: Yeah...but you're a lot like Jaz...so go find Alex. ;P To the bottom A/N?
Dream: *rolls eyes* Apparently, my Alex is an OC named Tony. And sure.
Walt was conflicted - and this time, not about two girls. No, it was one girl, but she had another guy in her life, and he wanted to be happy for her, he really did, but his lingering feelings for her got in the way; he wanted her for himself. He wanted to be the one she loved, not Alex. He was longing to have her in his arms, and everything would be okay again...everything would be like it should have been.
Of course, she probably didn't want him like she used to; he understood why. He had been cruel to her, heartless. Played with her like she was a toy. Chased after another girl, even though she was the one healing him, making him smile when his skies were gray. She was always there, and he'd gone and done the stupidest thing he ever would - and could - do: leave. Leave her. Leave all the chances they had. Leave the one person who made him smile. Leave...everything he'd ever wanted in a girl. Leave the one he loved.
How idiotic was that?
The answer? Very. And now she has moved on, moved on to the boy who had always been there for her even if he wasn't halfway across the world, who had comforted her and done everything he could for her, doing everything Walt should'vedone for her, but hadn't.
Alexandros "Alex" Anagnos. There wasn't a name that quite like that, that made Walt want to scream in agony. Because he was the boy who had the girl he wanted. It was agony, watching her be so happy with someone else. But then again...hadn't he done the same thing to her? Made her feel this pain too? If that was true, he was more sorry than anything. He hated that he had caused her pain, broken her heart. He knew what that pain felt like now, and it was slowly killing him that he'd made her feel that too.
He hates that he was the reason he had lost Jaz Anderson, and he hates that he's the main reason Jaz hurt him - intentionally or not - with Alex. Probably unintentionally, knowing Jaz. She wasn't one for revenge, or causing others pain. It almost made the sting of the pain worse, knowing he'd been such a jerk. And yet...Jaz still helped him. She had put aside that he was with Sadie, and still worked just as hard to find the cure for him. Maybe even harder. And all that time, she had been doing it without asking for anything in return, just doing it help him. And he had to be an idiot and leave her.
It wasn't a secret that Walt and Alex didn't like each other - they sent each other glares when Jaz wasn't looking, and yet Jaz still helped him find a cure. He glanced at the empty seat besides him, and wished for the days when Alexandros Anagnos wasn't in his life - the days Jaz would be here with a cup of coffee and he'd enter yawning, and she would simply hand him a scroll and begin to look, and always something happened that made the two laugh - like that time Walt tripped over a scroll and landed on top of Jaz. However awkward that had been, it had been rather nice too. Laughter always made the long nights seem less hopeless. He'd suddenly have something to live for; and it wasn't the British girl he was dating. No, it was the blonde healer who he'd hurt so badly.
In the end, hurting her had only hurt himself.
He wondered if the only reason he had been attracted to Sadie was because she shared certain characteristics with Jaz - they both have blond hair, blue eyes, and were addicted to their iPods. Still, Sadie would never be Jaz. She would never be the nice, kind healer that helped anyone, that listened to everyone's problems, taking them in as they were her own, take care of others, and not care if at the end she survived or not - she only cared if her friends did.
Walt hated himself for what he'd done to her, such a wonderful person he'd hurt. HowcouldIbesostupid? No wonder nearly no one in Brooklyn House wanted to do something with him anymore - Jaz was everyone's friend, whether they intended that or not. Truth be told, he didn't want - or need - anyone but Jaz. It just had to be the one girl he couldn't reach, yet the one he wanted - needed - so desperately.
He remembered something his mom had told him about a long time ago; karma, what goes around comes around. It seemed to be the same pain she'd felt, the pain he'd caused. How ironic that she would make him feel the same. But surely she didn't mean to...she was Jaz, for Ra's sake - she can't hurt anyone! It was messed up, and crazy, how his life was going; he might actually welcome death when it comes to call upon him.
Jaz had made his life so much more amazing, in some way. She'd given him hope for the first time since he had been ten, made him laugh when he'd been about to cry moments before. Her smile was contagious - whenever he saw it directed to him, he couldn't help but twitch his lips upwards even if the situation wasn't one to smile at.
And now that smile was directed to him.
Walt was trying to convince himself that he wasn't jealous, but deep down, he knew he was in fact. He wanted to be where Alex was, with Jaz.
And, to tell the truth, he was sick and tired of walking in on them in the middle of one of their make-out sessions. They made him feel so...he couldn't describe it. But it was sickening.
Though he knew it wouldn't have been so sickening if he had been in Alex's place during one of those times. In fact, it would have been rather...enjoyable, most likely. But Walt had promised himself he wouldnot think about Jaz like that. He wouldn't be like those disgusting perverts Jaz had ranted about during their time in the library together that all they could do was stare at certain parts of her body and how it got annoying. He was determined. He would change, try to make himself better in her mind, so she would come back to him.
Maybe then he'd be able to make up for what he'd done. Just maybe; which was better than no chance.
He closed his eyes. He just wanted to go back and change everything...then maybe, instead of Jaz being in Alex's arms, it would be Jaz in his arms, Jaz kissing him instead of Alex, Jaz loving him instead of Alex...he would be happy again. The empty loneliness would be filled with the joy of having her again.
But...then he would cause Alex pain. And as much as he disliked the dude, one side of Walt didn't want him to pass through the same as him. He didn't want him to pass through the misery, the loneliness, the pain...and Walt was ashamed to admit that the other side of him did want Alex to pass through all that. Something told him that Jaz was what made Alex truly happy, and he couldn't be so cruel to him.
Walt sighed. He had no idea what to do. Just great, just like old times.
Through all the confusion, he knew one thing for sure; he longed for Jaz, despite how she was untouchable.
Different: Tony? O_o According to Anthony, Daulton and I are a 'perfectcouple'. O_o
Dream: Blame Hyper, okay?
Different: ...tell me later.
Dream: Okay. So, did you guys like it?
Different: I liked writing it. :3 Very therapeutic, making Walter emo.
Dream: I just liked how Walter learned his lesson.
Different: I loved that part. xD
Dream: :3
Different: Anyway. Review? :3 Thanks for reading! :D