Hour XIII

…

It was towards the middle of the day, I think, and we were sprawled in front of the small gate, watching the sun arc towards the horizon. I got uncomfortable again and squirmed into another position, half-aware of the brunette beside me. She shot me an amused look, her hand cupping her cheek, and looked at Pence. "When's it getting here?"

"Whenever it feels like it," he muttered sourly. Waiting was usually his strong point, but even the indomitable Pence had his limits. "He didn't give us a time. Remember?"

"Stupid Seifer," I grumbled. "He probably lied to us, you know, and we're wasting our time."

"You sound like Rai," Olette informed me with a playful punch.

I heard a growl from my other side and looked at Hayner. "What's with you?"

"Would you stop talking about that stupid…that stupid, stupid guy?" he demanded, glaring at me. Hayner had, of course, recently finished a rant on Seifer, and had run out of things to call him. In a minute he'd think of something-- "That dick!" --there it was, and go on about him for a bit-- "It's just like him to pull something like this! He never leaves us alone." --and then blame it all on something (or someone) completely unrelated (i.e. me)-- "We wouldn't even be here if Roxas hadn't gone along with it! Why do you have to be such a bonehead all the time?"

Rolling my eyes, I sighed and turned on my side, away from him. "Shut up. It wasn't even my idea. We could've done something more fun."

"Roxas, Hayner, come on, guys…" I heard Olette say soothingly.

"That's right, you wanted us to research your stupid heart problems."

I hit him. I punched him hard, right in the face, and ducked out of the way when he tried to hit me back. "Stupid?" I repeated, trying to keep my voice from shrilling, even though I was almost angry and hurt enough not to care. "I could die, Hayner!"

"Guys, guys, come on!" Pence said then, getting between us. "We've been out here a long time, so it's getting kinda tense. Back down, Hayner, huh?"

I could already see the regret in Hayner's eyes, but it didn't make it any better. I've had heart problems since I was a baby--and though around Hayner, Pence, and Olette, they're just "heart problems," that's a euphemism.

I have half a heart.

It's not an easy condition to live with. It's not even a condition I'm supposed to be able to live with, and the doctors aren't really sure how I've managed to survive, especially since there's no medical record from before my fifteenth year here in Twilight Town--which is weird, because I've lived here for as far back as I can remember. So long as I take my medicine, though, I'm okay.

"You know we don't want anything to happen to you, Roxas," Olette told me while Hayner stomped off to the opposite side of Sunset Hill to sulk, Pence close behind him. "Hayner's just mad at Seifer again. You know how he gets--he was really pissed off after what happened to the pictures last month. Remember?"

I frowned at the train tracks. Of course I remembered the pictures--how could I forget? While we were trying to chase down the thief, this no good weirdo got his mitts on Pence's camera. I chased him down while the others tried to convince Seifer to lay off, but he just threw the camera at my feet, along with the other photographs. "They don't mean anything," he murmured in a voice that struck a painfully nostalgic chord--where had I heard it before? He was wearing a cloak that hid everything, other than those hips of his, or else I probably would have recognized him. "I guess…" He looked up at me, and the flash of jade sent a thrill through me. "I guess I just had to see you again. Even if it was fake."

"Roxas!" came voices from the woods around me, Olette's louder than the rest--probably because she was closer. "Roxas, are you all right?" Funny, I could hear her even now.

The past blurred into the present as I realized the others were clustered around me. Hayner stood in front of me, his eyes burning into mine and his hands on my shoulders. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"Huh?" I looked down, and realized my hands were on top of one another, placed over my heart. It beat again sharply, sending a sharp pain through my chest. "Uhn…!"

"Do we need to take you to the hospital? Or is it just the medicine this time?" Pence asked, making Hayner let go of me, which was better. Pence's expression was totally calm, and while Hayner was managing this with difficulty, Olette looked ready to burst into tears. I'd never had an attack around her before, that I could remember, so it wasn't like I could blame her for being scared.

Keep beating, I urged my heart silently. Keep going. Come on. It was a mild attack, but it still hurt. I would need medicine. "We…we should probably go home," I said in disappointment, looking over Hayner's shoulder for…the…

"Hey! Hey hey HEY--the train!" I realized, pointing. The others didn't seem to react, but I pushed past them anyway, reaching the gate. "It's here! It's really here, like he said!"

"Roxas?"

"What about your--!"

"Wait!" I said quickly, my eyes locked on the train as it entered. It was a steely black color, mixed with white and a bit of gray, and there was a strange white, sort of curvy, crosslike symbol on the front that I didn't recognize. It passed under us in dead silence, but I could see that there was someone driving it--someone cloaked. Looking at them gave me the chills somehow. Hadn't that guy, the one from the woods, been wearing that same cloak?

I didn't look directly at them when I turned back to the others, so I guess that's how I missed the looks of confusion on their faces. Because I know now, they must've been there. "Guys, I…I don't know what that was…"

"But, Roxas…" Olette frowned out at the tracks, shaking her head. "There's nothing there."

I blinked at her, wondering if she could be quite that stupid. "Well not now," I said simply. "Come on, let's go to the station. I mean, we have to go home anyway, and maybe we can talk to that guy. We just might be able to get this thing done!"

"What are you talking about!" I thought I heard Hayner half-scream behind me, but I was already leaving the hill and didn't really think about it.

The train was waiting for us when we got to the station, and I felt a bit of foreboding when I walked towards it. I could see the cloaked figure inside, bending over, it looked like, probably to punch a ticket or something. Sucking in my breath, and ignoring the slight pang in my chest when I did so, I started for the train. But I stopped when I realized that Hayner and the others weren't following. "Are you guys coming or what?" I asked them, turning around.

"You know, Roxas, it just occurred to me that this whole thing is a really bad idea," Hayner said quickly, stepping in front of me. "We should really get you home before anything else happens."

Pence was at my elbow a moment later, nodding. "He's right, you know. You're probably feeling a little light-headed from all the excitement. Not to mention your heart's been acting up--"

"Yeah, and that's why you think you saw that train," Olette pitched in from the other side.

What was wrong with that girl? I glared at her and pointed. "Olette, it's right--!" But my eyes widened as I stared through the space between Hayner's arm and hip. "…there…?"

The station was empty.

"But it was! It was!" I insisted to them.

Hayner grabbed me by the shoulders and escorted me to one of the benches. "Sit." I sat. "Listen. You're just feeling a little woozy from your heart problems, okay? Doesn't that medication cause hallucinations anyway? We all really wanted to see that train, so it's no surprise that you thought you saw--"

"Hayner, it was there!"

"Roxas," Pence said sharply. It was a tone of voice I'd never heard him use—not that I could remember, anyway, which seemed really strange. In fifteen years, wouldn't I have heard him when he got mad or upset? "You were the only one who saw that train. I didn't see it, Olette didn't see it, and Hayner didn't see it. It wasn't real."

That quelled any other protest I had been about to make. The train wasn't real, and that was the end of it. "Fine," I said, crossing my arms and sighing. "Let's go home, then."

"Aww, you're not mad at us now, are you?" Hayner asked, bending down to my level.

"No," I confided. I put a hand over my heart thoughtfully. "I just…I want this to go away. I wish it wasn't a problem anymore, somehow."

"Yeah. We wish there was something we could do to help," he said, smiling sadly.

Olette glanced up at the clock above the ticket counter. "Hey, it's still about a half an hour before the train gets here," she alerted us. "How about we run grab some ice cream?"

"The usual?" I asked, grinning. Sea-salt was sounding pretty good about now.

"Well, they don't sell that here, actually," Pence explained. "This kind comes in a cone. More flavors than just sea-salt, lemon, and strawberry. Dibs on chocolate!"

"Vanilla banana swirl," Olette said with a nod.

"And I'll take that boysenberry stuff," Hayner said. "Which one do you want, Roxas?"

I blinked. They were so prompt--like they'd been here before. But then, I'd been here before, too, right? Lots of times. So why didn't I have a flavor… "Um, vanilla, I guess," I said, shrugging.

"Maybe I should stay here with him, and you guys get the ice cream," Hayner suggested.

"Sure. Raspberry, right?" Pence asked.

"No, boysenberry!"

"Right, right."

"Don't worry about it, I'm just sitting right here," I told him. "Nothing's gonna happen. Besides, how long can it possibly take you guys to get ice cream?"

"All right, just don't do anything stupid, like try to get on the mystery train, all right?" he said, grinning.

"I won't," I promised, waving as the three of them ran off together, chattering excitedly and countering flavor with flavor. They looked so at peace together, like they…like they really fit, even though I wasn't with them. Why am I being so depressing all of a sudden?

I tried to think about some more upbeat things. Like that girl over by the tracks, the one in the white dress. She's kind of cute, I thought, grinning inwardly. If she looks this way, I'll wave to her. Maybe we'll start a conversation. She did look my way, but when I waved, she just returned her gaze to the tracks. Maybe not…

Well, I was bored. Hayner and the others sure were taking their sweet time with the ice cream. They sure as hell better not forget mine. Even if it was stupid vanilla, and I had just then realized I didn't really like vanilla. I looked up, realizing with a start that there was a train in the station and that maybe it was time to go home already and where were Hayner and the others? But--no, it was just that stupid hallucination again. I scowled at it. Back to bother me again?

The girl, though, was walking towards it. Or, no--the train wasn't really there, so she was walking towards the tracks! "Hey!" I called, rising and approaching her. She turned to me, shooting me an inquisitive look with those large blue eyes of hers. Somehow, she didn't seem outwardly mean, but there wasn't really anything welcoming about her, either. "You--you'll get hurt," I managed, suddenly nervous.

She smiled, as if to say, "poor, naïve soul," and shook her head. "I'm going away. Do you want to come with me?"

"Wh--but, the train…" I hesitated. Maybe…was she a hallucination, too? If so, I…well, if she was a hallucination too, I was beginning to hate my life.

She shrugged--an easy gesture that briefly dislodged the blonde strands resting over her right shoulder--and started for the train again. "Suit yourself."

I opened my mouth to respond to that, and suddenly it hit me. "It" came in the form of an attack--a bad one. Needles shot through my heart, and by extension my chest, and I hit the ground a moment later, squeezing my skin where it hurt so badly. "Kh…nnnhh…!" Gritting my teeth against the pain, I tried in desperation to form the name Hayner, Pence, or Olette--but my jaw was locked and wouldn't obey.

"I can't leave you here, can I?"

It was the blonde, bent beside me and looking at me again. Blonde strands fell about her face, and though there was no concern in her eyes, I could feel that, at some much deeper level, she cared. "Come on. I can help."

I felt her hand slide into mine, and she pulled me to my feet, even though the pain seemed to be getting even worse now. I leaned heavily against her, but it didn't slow her down. As we approached the train, I heard footsteps clatter against the cobblestone behind us, and looked back in time to see Hayner, Pence, and Olette arrive. Their eyes met mine, then turned to meet the girl's, and finally rested on the train. The train--they could see it, then!

"Roxas!" Olette cried out sharply, her voice edged with fear.

Hayner shook his head, trembling slightly, and I realized with a shock that he--that Hayner…Hayner was crying! "I'm sorry, Roxas! I'm sorry about what I said! Just don't go!"

"Hayner, I--!"

"We knew it wasn't going to be for long," he continued, his voice beginning to break. "We knew it wouldn't last, but…but it's been too short! Don't leave us now, Roxas!"

The emotion in his eyes hit me in a place I hadn't been struck before. "Hayner…" I managed softly. Then the blonde tugged on my hand gently.

"If you stay with them, you'll die," she said. "That's the simple truth."

I looked up at them again for what I knew was going to be the last time, and my body quavered with emotion. Could I…no, I couldn't do this. "I…I wish…" My voice broke, and I turned away to hide the cold tears quivering on my chin. Then the girl, with a single backward glance at my friends, led me inside the train.

They shouted in alarm, as I knew they would, and ran forward. "Tickets," I heard from behind me as I watched Hayner, and the blonde solemnly handed two of them to the cloaked man who was the engineer. The two of us sat down on one of the long benches in the four cars on the train, and then my attention was focused on the other three, who had reached us and were by the window. Hayner's hands were pressed to the glass, and I pressed one of mine to his on the other side. Our eyes met, and then the train let out a loud hiss, chugging to life. As it coasted along and Hayner and the others disappeared into the distance, the noise faded away into an eerie silence…an eerie nothingness.

"Na…" I said to the girl next to me. I knew her name, somehow. It just took a little while for it to come back to me. "Na…mi…"

"Namine."

"That's right. I almost had it," I said quietly, trying almost to make light of it. "What…what am I supposed to do now?"

"You wait," she said. "It'll take us some time to get there."

I felt something in my hand, and looked down in time to see her fingers twine around mine. "Sleep now, Roxas," she said soothingly, and it occurred to me that I kind of liked the way she said my name--even though her voice seemed so…cold, was it? In fact, Namine herself seemed cold, somehow. It wasn't like she was freezing, just kind of chilly, as though it was winter when she was wearing that little dress. Even though I was holding her hand, my touch didn't seem to warm her.

Before I knew it, my head was resting against her shoulder. Her fingers flickered in front of my eyes in slow, rhythmic patterns, and she vibrated slightly as she hummed a familiar melody. That song…the one with seven notes…

But then it all faded into dreamless slumber, into nothing.

…

By the time I woke again, the train had stopped. Somehow I knew it had, even though it moved so silently that it was almost impossible to tell. I guess it was because the floor wasn't shaking as much anymore.

I was fading in and out of sleep, but somewhere along the line, my head had moved from Namine's shoulder to her lap. She wasn't humming anymore--instead, her fingers kind of threaded through my hair. Voices were echoing outside, and the train door burst open. Normally, I would have been awake in a second, frightened and wanting to know what was going on. But Namine was completely calm, and that calmness somehow passed on to me, too. I drifted back into unconsciousness briefly.

Warmth replaced the chill that was Namine, as arms encircled me and started out of the train. It was a struggle just to look back and see what had become of her, but when I did, I could see that two of the cloaked men had brought her to her feet. She was still calm and said nothing, but they struck her across the face and dragged her out of the train after us. Fury rose up in my heart--well, in what heart there was to speak of--but it was quelled a moment later by a sudden onset of exhaustion.

"Roxas," came the voice, it must have been several hours later. "Roxas, can you hear me?"

"I…uhn…" My hand went to my heart by habit, and I tried to focus on the face above. It was a familiar face…so familiar… "A…"

The redhead above me smiled. "He's fine," he said to the person next to him, and they nodded and left the room. As the door closed, he turned back to me. "Been awhile, hasn't it?"

I sat up, rubbing the back of my head. Everything was still kind of foggy. "I…I guess. If you're that guy I never met in my life, yeah," I added, shrugging.

"Sticks and stones." He rolled his eyes--pretty jade-colored ones, at that. "You'll start remembering soon enough. Until you do, the name's Axel. Got it memorized?"

But I was too busy frowning at him. "Hey, aren't you…you're the one who stole Pence's camera!"

He raised his hands negligently. "Guilty as charged."

"What did you mean?"

One red eyebrow shot up.

"By what you said. You said something about how they--about how the pictures didn't matter," I added. "And you had to see…" I suddenly realized I was blushing, and I had to drop my eyes from his. The amused smirk on his face didn't exactly help matters. "What did you mean?" I repeated, intent on an answer.

He cleared his throat. "Listen, Roxas…people don't always say what they mean, and what they mean doesn't always have to be an issue. See? Now, aren't you a bit more worried about why you're here and what we're going to do with you?"

I hesitated. For some reason, the thought hadn't occurred to me, although it seems like that'd be a prime concern. "Well, I guess," I managed. "What are you going to do with me? Hey--where's Namine?"

"She's safe, she's safe," he assured me, waving a dismissive hand. "Geez, you savior types always get all uptight about the girls…but don't worry about her. She's been working for us for a while now. You used to know her."

A jolt went through me. "I…I did?"

Axel sighed so powerfully I actually relaxed a little. "Wow. She really did a job on you, didn't she? You don't remember a thing!"

"About what? Was…" I hesitated as that black fear darted up--the fear that those memories, the records, all those little things I didn't remember, could have an explanation. "Was there something before Twilight Town?"

Axel looked in my eyes, and I watched his heart break right then. At first, I wasn't sure why—but I realized that it was because I had forgotten him, because we must have had something special. It wasn't just that, either. It was because now I was going to suffer, and he felt that. He felt it acutely. "Yeah…there was, Roxas," he said quietly. "You've…" He scratched the back of his head, laughing nervously. "Well, I hate to tell you this, but…you've only been in Twilight Town for, maybe, two months."

I stared at him. "No. No, that…that can't be right. I could understand if…if maybe ten years ago I lived somewhere else…but…two months?"

"Think about it. You know I'm right."

And the awful thing about it was, he was right. That explained the records, and why I'd never seen Pence upset, or Olette get that scared, and why I didn't really have a flavor when we went to Sunset Terrace. "So…what was it, then?" I asked, looking around at the room in which they were holding me. It was kind of an off-white color, still splattered with that strange, crosslike design, and the door looked securely locked. Didn't give much of an indication of the rest of this Castle Oblivion place. "What was it like before Twilight Town?"

Axel got up and began to pace the room. For some reason, the question seemed to make him nervous, but this seemed to pass and he shrugged. "Before Hayner and the gang, you ran with us," he said simply. "You had one of our stylish cloaks--which are 'totally happening,' according to Xigbar--and you followed orders like a good Nobody, even if you weren't technically one of us." He sighed. "This all got blown downwind of Xemnas, our big boss guy, and he decided to put you away in Twilight Town, and maybe you'd complete the metamorphosis there. Under what twisted logic I have no idea."

"What's a Nobody?"

"I'll let Namine do the explaining, since she's requested to see you before the tests--but in short, a Nobody hasn't got a heart. Got it memorized?"

"Oh." I thought about it for a minute. But…even if I only had half a heart, why would they send me to Twilight Town? Additionally--"How do you people live?"

"It becomes a matter of choice, after a while," Axel said, shrugging. "Anyway. Before you go, want to hear a secret?"

I was already standing, half-inclined to find Namine by myself and bust her out of there--but as I turned to look at Axel, it occurred to me that we had been best friends. Maybe I should extend the same courtesy to him.

Whoa. Wait. Since when?

"Um, sure, I guess," I managed, not really thinking about what I was saying. Suddenly I was in his arms, my back to his chest and his lips at my ear. I could feel my heart thudding in my ears, and a blush rose on my face unbidden. "I love you," he whispered.

"Wha--!"

Then the floor dropped out from under me and I fell.

…

A/N: Meh. The original idea was kinda supposed to be surreal (because I DIG surreality), but it doesn't really come off as that, much. I mean, you can pretty much track everything down to a logical KH idea. Anyway, hopefully I can update about once a week or so, and while this one isn't prewritten like LIE, I have most of the challenges worked out. The ending just needs some tweaking, and the pairing may or may not change (probably won't).