A Mysterious Heart
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Disclaimer: I do not own Kung Fu Panda. All characters (excluding OC's) are property of Dreamworks Animation.
A Mysterious Heart
Drowning, falling, suffocating, chocking on your own life-force. This is what it means to live my life; this is what it means to be me. All my life I never had the chance to live the life I wanted. I was changed, tormented, recreated into a weapon. To others I have always been a monster, a cold blooded killer. In my heart and mind I wanted to scream; "I'm not a weapon! Not a monster! Not evil!" But alas no one can hear another person's thoughts.
I have suffered for over thirty years. As a child I was scared by the torment of my peers. They called me a demon. They never wanted to play with me. They never wanted to be friends with me. I knew why; I had no restraint, no control. But I couldn't help it! I was only a child. Children are supposed to be the symbol for innocence, purity. But I was exposed to profanity, explicitly, and violence at those early years.
Then came my 'father'. He saved me from my own personal hell hole. I thought my life would change the day he came into my life. I thought I would finally live out my dreams of being a princess of China, but those dreams faded along with my youth. I was taught to fight. I wasn't like the normal girls; I never got the chance to dress up, or play dolls, or even play for that matter. I was confined to my home known as the Palace. Every day I trained and studied. Every time I got hurt or had a nightmare I was told to 'be quiet' or 'control myself' and sometimes even 'suck it up'.
One day I eventually escaped my prison. I ran away and hind in the Iron Forest near the Valley of Peace. I sat there and cried for hours, trying to figure out why my existence had been cursed. But then I had an epiphany. I was surrounded by what could make me great; the trees. For the next twenty years I trained in total secrecy. I cried, from tragedy, from pain, from suffering in secrecy. Here in the Forest I could be myself without the watchful eyes of judgment and society searing into my back.
But it was also here in the Forest where I lost myself. I put on the cloak of emotionless and heartlessness. I started to become the very thing I swore I wasn't. As I aged the cloak thickened, and people began to believe the lie I had created. Even I began to believe my own lies. And that is how it is; the most convincing lies are the ones you believe yourself. I started to forget to be myself, to be the little girl I once was. For years I lived in my own shadow that is until I met him.
He dropped into my life out of nowhere. He had stolen what I had worked so many years to achieve and I resented him for it. He never showed unhappiness or resented me back. He never even complained when I humiliated him. A year or two past and I finally let him into my life. It had been years since I had someone I could truly confide in. He was so open and so caring, why had I resented him? It was because of my lie. My lie had been so good that it made me lose myself, lose that part of me which would have never abused his humility, his generosity. But it was his nature to forgive me for my actions and the moment he did so was also the first time I had cried in someone's loving arms.
Months passed and this uncertain emotion boiled uncomfortably in my stomach. It was terrible yet wonderful at the same time. It caused the rest of my emotions to fall out of line. Every time I was around him I felt wonderful, nervous, scared, loved, and cared for. Together we celebrated victories, grieved over loss, and enjoyed each others' company. He taught me that I had a family all these years but I had been so blinded by my own lie that I didn't see it.
But even though my I love my family, I love my children with my heart and soul. My family, my husband, my training, and my children are now the center of my life. Things never would have been like this had I not met my wonderful husband. Oh how I love him so.
If I were ever given the chance to explain my suffering I would show others the light. That even if your life is terrible, full of miseries, full of sadness and loss. If you cannot find the strength to get up in the morning or have the courage to stand up for yourself, take heart. There will always be a person out there to save you, just be patient and hold on to what keeps you afloat, what keeps you breathing. Because they will find you and they will revive you. They will breathe the life back into you that was previously sucked from your lungs. And they will help you rebuild the world that has fallen down around you.
This is my advice to you; if you have fallen victim to your own lies, or if you have fallen victim to the misery of life you must continue to fight for your right to live. You must continue to crawl towards the light, until the hand of a saint pulls you from the rubble. And when you meet your guardian angel face to face thank them and do no not fear to weep with joy. For they have given you another chance at life like me.
And now I must end this testament to my life. For now I am no longer the sad and lost person I used to be, but instead I'm a new happier person with a better life, a family, and after some discovery and events; a new name.
Final entry in the testament of the life of Master Tigra (Tigress) Ping, Jade Palace.
Thank you to all you loyal readers and reviewers! J I cooked this up in two hours and I may be convinced to upload one of these for each of the KFP characters in my story: The Shadow, The Eagle, The Dragon, The Phoenix. Leave a comment to help me decide which character I should do next. Also for those who are reading my story/multi-chapter fanfic, I haven't stopped it I'm just delayed by school. It's coming along slowly but the next chapter should be out soon. Also; new readers that are joining in, thank you so much for viewing my writing, and also check out my other fanfic! It is a slow start but I promise it gets better as it goes…what have you got to lose?! J Thank you so much everyone! Please continue to follow, review, and favorite! Every bit helps push me along and speeds up the process. ;)