AN- I do not own the characters or twilight they belong to Stephenie Meyer

Jaspers eyes grow wide as he sniffs the air quickly the moisture glistening at the corners of his mouth is evident as he starts to drool "What is that smell Alice it's delectable"

"You never say that about my cooking!" Alice says whilst fake sulking.

Emmett runs in and slings Alice over his shoulder bellowing

"come catch your little wifey Jazzy" as he attempts to poke his tongue out he trips over a large log in his stupidity.

Before Emmett can stand up Rosalie walks in and stands above him with her foot on his neck. "Emmett You are an Imbecile!"

Emmett struggles and attempts to grab Rosalie's big spiky shoe. Alice shudders as she has a vision and roars "Emmett stop what you are doing right now!"

Carlisle, Esme, Jasper and Rosalie all look at Alice baffled by her sudden outburst as she had said nothing during her 'attempted Kidnapping'.

She cuts off their stares by replying tersely

"I had a vision he was going to snap the heel..."

Rosalie and Garrett glare at Emmett in unison and Alice spits acidly "Those are Manolo Blahniks!! Do you know how much they cost?"

Emmett stares blankly at his feet and stammers "But...it's a shoe?"

Rosalie walks over briskly and slaps him the sound reverberating around the huge yard. "Emmett honestly DON'T mess with my shoes EVER!" screams Rosalie as she wheels around to stomp off.

Emmett grabs her wrist and turns her around pouting and making puppy dog eyes "I'm sorry Rosie baby" he offers as he hugs her. "How can I make up for it?"

Rosalie smiles deviously whilst Edward walks over and says "OH please Rose stop picturing what you two are going to do in your room in the next 5 minutes please? It's barbaric" At Edward's comment Emmett laughs and grins cockily

"Don't be such a prude Eddie, we can't all be celibate like you"

Edward glares at Emmett crouching defensively getting ready to fight.Alice slaps Emmett on the back "Emmett, don't be so mean to Edward."

At this she nudges Edward on the arm suggestively and Edward just directs his glare at her. Alice Looks at Edward wide-eyed and doubles over in hysterical laughter "she refused you? Oh...Edward I did not see that coming…" Alice pats Edwards arm in what is supposed to be a comforting gesture and adds mentally "after the wedding then"

Edward glares which only makes him look even more astounding "No Alice I had to stop it I don't deserve her it's just wrong. I'm such a monster who am I to deserve an angel like Bella?" Edward says in a strangled voice.

A large crashing sounds from behind them and they turn to see Bella in a heap at the bottom of the stairs sobbing.

Everyone runs over at vampire speed and Bella sputters through her broken sobs.

"Don't leave me again Edward... I, I... I'm sorry I know that I am not as beautiful as all the other girls who would gladly throw themselves at you, but I can go without sex if that is what you want... I won't marry you if you don't want it just please don't leave me Edward... I'll die!"

Jasper screams "Oh for Christ sake you guys are all so emo. I cannot handle this a moment longer just get over yourselves and go have sex! The pent up frustration emanating from you two is enough to make me wish I could die! Oh and no one ever told me what that smell was."

A.N- This was a result of one of my best friends and myself being bored and annoyed about the spoiler for Breaking Dawn PLUS too much sweet milky tea! i MAY just write a serious fic now...