How to Annoy the Cullen
"Kids"
Jasper Cullen
1.Tell him he's got more mood swings than Bella.
2.Play with sharp objects when he's around.
3.Put rainbows on his boxers.
4.Tell him Alice is the man in the relationship.
5.Make him do 'Thriller' by Michael Jackson.
6.Take him to see the fishies at WalMart when he's thirsty.
7.Have Emmett blow kisses and wink at him at school.
8.Spray a room full of humans with laughing gas when he's trying to have a "serious" moment with Alice.
9.Tell Alice that Jasper doesn't like the room decorations.
10.Put gum in his hair.
Rosalie Cullen
1.Cough she enters the room.
2.Don't look at her.
3.Laugh when she's trying to talk to you.
4.Ask her where she bought her hair.
5.Ask her to fix your car, then break something afterwards each time.
6.Tell her, her makeup looks smudged.
7.Dress Emmett in her lingerie.
8.Give Emmett a pet kitty named Rosie.
9.Walk past her and scream then run the other direction.
10.Throw Rosie at her.
Alice Cullen
1.Tell her she has bad taste.
2.Tell her she needs to sue whoever did her nails.
3.Egg her Porsche.
4.When she has a vision of you tee-peeing her room, tell her Jasper told you to.
5.Send Maria a love note.
6.Sign Alice's name to it.
7.Tell her she doesn't look too bad for her age.
8.Ask her which Target she got her purse from.
9.Buy her a 'How To' makeup set.
10.Submit her to a "shopping rehab" support group.
Edward Cullen
1.Tell him Bella had guilt sex with Jacob.
2.She's pregnant.
3.Hide his Volvo keys.
4.Ask him what steroid he's on.
5.Have Bella walk down stairs in Stilettos when he's out hunting.
6.Make him volunteer at a daycare with ADHD toddlers.
7. Lock him in a room with all women at a sanitarium.
8.Say Bella's wedding ring is fake.
9.Play hide and seek with Bella in the woods.
10.Tell him you know he's gay and you have a friend who wants to meet him.
"Ha! Squares." Emmett folded up his list of ways to sabotage his siblings and put it in his pockets.
"Who's the dumb one now."