DISCLAIMER: I do not own these characters, that honor belongs to Stephenie Meyers. I do however own an awesome Jasper bookmark. I also do not own the song When You Were Mine, that honor belongs to the Dixie Chicks.
This is the first angsty story that I have written. I was driving to work one day and heard the song and it sent the plot bunny jumping around in my head.
The kids were sleeping, the dishes done and the house clean, I could sit down and think now. Though lately that wasn't always a good thing, you see my best friend and husband, Jake, left me three months ago. Since he left things have not been that great, I have been depressed there is no way around that. I thought that I was going to spend the rest of my life with him. That was my plan anyways. You see when I was eighteen years old I was so completely in love with this boy named Edward. He was different than any other boy that I met, he was a Vampire. I loved him so completely that when he left me after my birthday I was completely devastated. I was completely broken and Jake, my sweet, wonderful Jake helped put me back together. But he was different too, he was a Werewolf and that is what led him to leaving me.
I poured myself a glass of wine and went to sit in the living room. Sitting down in my favorite chair I pulled my legs up and under me. I held an envelope in my hands and after a few minutes I opened the letter.
Dear Bells,
Bells, I am sorry to be writing you. I never thought that I would have to. I always thought that I could love you enough to fight this from happening. But Bells, I was wrong. I am so sorry Bells; I wish that it wasn't true. But this time apart has allowed me to see that she is where I am meant to be.
Please Bells, don't hate me or her. In the back of our minds I think we always knew that this might happen. I really did love you, and I enjoyed our life together, please believe that. But staying wouldn't be good for any of us. Tell Jakey and Jadeyn that I love them and I will come and see them as soon as I can.
Bells, I am so sorry, I wish that things had gone differently.
Jake
I had tears running down my face when I finished the letter. It was not the first time that I read the letter, I have had it for a little over a week now and I have read it every day. When he left three months ago, I knew in my heart that he wasn't going to come back. But to see it in black and white is completely different. How was I supposed to say goodbye to the man who held me together and gave me my two beautiful children?
I can't find a reason to let go
Even though you've found a new love
And she's what your dreams are made of
Jake was my very own personal sun. He made me feel so safe and secure and he made me whole. I can't imagine how I am going to be able to do this on my own. Did I want to do this alone? Could I do this alone? I looked up on the mantle and saw a picture framed there from last Christmas, I walked over to the picture and held it gently in my hands. In the frame were my two beautiful and sweet children sitting in front of the tree on this past Christmas morning. Looking down at them I knew that I could do this, for them. I would hold myself together for them. For them I could and will do anything.
I can find a reason to hang on
What went wrong can be forgiven
Without you it ain't worth livin' alone
All of this won't be easy, but than nothing in my life was ever easy. I was already back to having nightmares. I would wake up screaming and crying into my pillow, I just wanted my family and life back. I was fighting so hard not go back to that zombie like state I was in when Edward left. Who does the chick think that she is? What right does she have to take my Jake from me? I put the picture back on the mantle with a small smile, my eyes traveled over at the picture from our wedding day. Picking up the picture and looking down at it I saw that we looked so happy and in love. Why does destiny have it out for me?
Sometimes I wake up crying at night
And sometimes I scream out your name
What right does she have to take you away
When for so long you were mine
I ran my finger down the face of Jake in his suit; he was holding my back against his chest and smiling at the camera his hands were on Jadeyn, who was just starting to show in my stomach. He looked so happy and so proud. I put the picture down and pulled out the wedding album, looking through all the pictures, tore at my heart. We were so happy and so in love, in all of the pictures we were touching in some way. The only time he let me go that day was when I was dancing with Charlie or his dad. My favorite picture was of the two of us and Sam and Emily Uley we were all laughing and dancing. It was such a beautiful day, one that I would never forget. I thought that I found my Happily Ever After.
I took out all the pictures
Of our wedding day
It was a time of love and laughter
Happy ever after
But even those pictures
Have begun to fade
I put everything away and headed up to bed. I checked in on the kids and they were both sleeping peacefully, I kissed both of their foreheads and then slipped into my room. After Jake had left I removed all of the pictures in here. They were just too hard to look at every day, too hard to look at my broken happy ever after. I changed and crawled into bed, I slipped quickly into sleep. I woke up crying into my pillow again. I still couldn't believe that he was gone; I truly did not know how he could leave us. In the back of my mind I knew that imprinting was something that we would have to deal with at some point, but after a while that thought just goes away. After seven happy years together I thought that we would make it. How can all of this be real? I slipped out of bed and grabbed my phone. I wanted to call Jake and tell him to come home, tell him that I will do and be whatever he wants me to be, just as long as he comes home. I need him to come home. I dialed his number and then hit end, I just couldn't call him. I don't know that I could handle hearing his voice just yet.
Please tell me she's not real
And that you're really coming home to stay
Sometimes I wake up crying at night
And sometimes I scream out your name
What right does she have to take your heart away
When for so long you were mine
I wasn't the only one that needed him to come home, Jakey and Jadeyn needed him to come home too. I wanted them to have better than I did; I wanted them to have both parents present in all that they do. Jake wanted that too, before he met her. But now that has all changed, since he left he has seen them once. What kind of man, what kind of father turns his back on his kids? I walk over to the closet and start ripping everything of his out and throwing them in the middle of the floor. Once everything was out of the closet I collapsed beside the pile. Did he just change his mind? Was I too broken for him? What am I going to tell people? What am I going to tell the kids?
I can give you two good reasons
To show you love's not blind
He's two and she's four
And you know they adore you
So how can I tell them
You've changed your mind
He left his favorite shirt. I pulled off mine and slipped his shirt on, it still smelled like him. I knew that sitting in his shirt would hurt me more, but I missed my husband, my best friend. This was so not fair, he got to be happy and I am miserable. How is this fair? I get to be a single mom trying to raise my kids alone, while he is out living his life and happy. He still holds my heart in his hands, even after he ripped his from my hands and gave it to someone else. I laid down on his pile of clothes and cried myself to sleep, again.
And Sometimes I wake up crying at night
And sometimes I scream out your name
What right does she have to take your heart away
When for so long you were mine
I woke up just as the sun was streaming through the curtains. I picked up all of his clothes from the floor and put them back in the closet, same thing I did every morning. I then got ready to face the day. The kids were waking up just as I finished making pancakes. I could hear them moving around upstairs, so I went to get them. After we had breakfast and they got dressed, we went outside to play. We played outside most of the morning. We came in for lunch and naps. When I was with my kids I could handle the fact that Jake left me. I was curled up on the couch reading, when the door bell rang.
"Bella Black?" the man at the door asked.
"Yes" I answered as he handed me an envelope.
"Here you go." He said as he turned and left.
I opened the envelope, it was divorce papers. In a daze I walked into the living room and called Charlie.
When he came to the house, he found me sitting at the kitchen table. Looking up at my father I handed him the papers, "I remember when he was mine" I whispered before I started crying.