A/N: Thoughts that ran through Tony's mind as he flew his way into that portal, and the Hulk's mind as he caught him.
Disclaimer: I own no characters, storylines or dialogue that comes from Marvel.
Sacrifices And Saviours
Shall I try Ms Potts?
Sometimes the perceptive sensitivity his AI displayed towards him surprised even Tony. Because here he was, shooting to his death, and Jarvis had the presence of mind (so to speak) to suggest a call to the person who meant the most to him.
"Might as well ..." he murmured softly.
As he watched the picture of Pepper appear in front of him, "Calling" flashing above it, Tony was unsure of whether or not he actually wanted her to answer.
Part of him did. He had things he wanted to tell her. He wanted to tell her that he loved her. In one of those cliché more than he ever knew was humanly possible kind of ways.
He wanted to tell her that she was the best thing that had ever happened to him. He wanted her to know how she had influenced his life; made him a better person, and more importantly, he wanted her to know that he knew it. He wanted to thank her for making him happy. He wanted to tell her to be happy, too.
He also wanted to say he was sorry. So sorry that this was happening. Sorry that he had to do this. But there was no denying that he did. After all, if he didn't, they were all dead anyway. But he wanted to tell her how he wished he could spare her this. He wanted to tell her that wherever he went after he died, he would miss her with all his heart. He wanted her to know that he had no idea how to exist without her, even in death, and that even in death, he would never stop loving her.
All the things he had never expressly said to her, because he was Tony Stark, and he just didn't talk that way. He knew she knew the truth, but now seemed a good time to confirm it.
On the other hand …
Did he really want to speak to her as he rushed to his death? Have her hear him disappear?
He thought of how she would respond. She might cry, he thought. She wasn't exactly big on crying, but this might be one of the moments where she would cave. She would cry and tell him she loved him too, and tell him that she would miss him so much.
She might yell at him for being a pigheaded insensitive bastard for doing this to her. She might even beg him not to do it. Beg him to think of another way, so that he could come back to her. Even though he knew there was no other way, and he would have to tell her that, and she would crumble.
Or she might say that she was so proud of him, that he was the bravest man she had ever known. He wasn't being arrogant for once. He knew Pepper thought that about him. She would bid him goodbye, her heart breaking, and his own heart would break to hear it. And so he would die, he thought, listening to the heart of the love of his life break, and feeling his own heart break, and it all seemed a bit harsh. The numbness he was feeling now was better.
And so with each ring that she didn't answer, he felt an odd sick mixture of relief and disappointment in his stomach. He was very near the portal now, and he could see space out there. Vast endless space. But he chose to stare at her picture instead, knowing now that it was too late anyway. Even if she answered now, there would be no time to say anything much. So he contented himself with gazing at her face, her smile, her twinkling eyes, and thinking that if that was one of the last images ever to permeate his brain, it wasn't a bad one.
And then the flashing "Calling" changed into a red "Call Failed" as he exited the network coverage area, which was also more or less exiting the realm of earth. Away from everything, away from her. And the disappointment that he hadn't been able to hear her voice predominated for a moment.
Then the suit flickered around his eyes, and went dark with a last half-formed Sir from his AI.
Power gone.
He let go of the missile.
Jarvis gone.
That was a strange thought, because since he had designed Jarvis, Tony had never not had him around. It was as though he had lost touch with a part of his mind. He was truly and completely alone now, and he wondered irrationally if he should have said goodbye to his AI. There was no reason to except sentimentality on Tony's part. Jarvis had provided him with a companionship that he had sorely needed. He wondered what would happen to Jarvis when he was gone.
Because he was gone.
He was flying alone into space through a portal above Manhattan, into a far end of the universe, and watching a missile head to the biggest damn mother ship he had ever seen. He should be interested, at the very least. He wished he could show somebody.
Pepper was naturally the first person who came to mind. She usually was. She would appreciate the beauty and mysticism of space, of infinity. But he didn't want her here at all. Not even in his mind anymore, because it was too much.
Banner perhaps. But even if he could show him, Banner was currently a Hulk, so he probably wouldn't appreciate it as much as the human version. The human version would have been fascinated by the vastness and the impossibility of what was happening. He wished he'd had the time to tell Banner he was a good guy. Tony liked Banner, and thought smugly that he had told them he would show up. He wished he'd had the time to tell Banner that he'd told him so as well.
People shouldn't always doubt him, because he was Tony Stark, and he had just flown through a portal into space, carrying a nuclear missile away from Manhattan and into the mother ship of the race that was currently invading earth. This was so a sacrifice play. Rogers was probably eating humble pie at that moment, Tony thought, but then thought that he was probably feeling regretful. Maybe even proud. Because they were a team, and were acting like it as of today. He wanted to tell Steve that he was a good leader, whatever else, and thank him for directing their battle.
He was cold, he suddenly realised, distracted from his thoughts. Too freaking cold. Why was space so damn cold? Well, he knew the answer to that, but it seemed like an unfair thing to have to deal with right now. He watched the missile connect to the ship, and thought that it was probably going to get unbearably hot in a moment or so, and that that was irony if he'd ever come across it, because he was so cold, but he would die from the heat. He was suddenly feeling very lightheaded, and he wondered if that was to do with adrenaline or lack of oxygen.
After all, his suit was no longer working, and thus no longer performing useful functions such providing him with oxygen when there was none in his environment, or keeping him warm. He felt himself begin to fall backwards again, and added not powering him upwards to the list of things it wasn't doing. Well, that was okay, because he didn't need to fly directly into the explosion. It would get to him.
The explosion seemed to have taken forever to form, but now it lit up Tony's visor, and he stared at it, overcome with a surreal feeling. It was very bright. A hell of a lot of energy, he thought, and wished he could capture it for Pepper to use for the good of mankind.
He suddenly wished, very selfishly, that he could connect to Pepper right now. He wished he could hold her in his arms and kiss her one last time. Or he wished she would be able to hold him in her arms, and kiss him, and protect him from this. He didn't want to leave her, and the horror of that thought filled his heart as the explosion filled the night in front of him. He was falling away from it, and the glowing heat was following him. He imagined that heat to be Pepper's embrace, imagined her telling him she loved him, and felt his heart break anyway, because why did this have to happen?
That would have been the moment for his panic attack had he had the energy, but all he felt was his eyes drooping closed, the surreal lightheadedness probably definitely from lack of oxygen now. All he saw was yellow, orange, red light, filling up his visual field. All he felt was heat, searing heat. And then he closed his eyes, because it didn't matter anymore at all, and he was too tired to think. At least that had worked, was his last thought before he sank into darkness.
At least he had saved the world. Or something.
x x x
The Hulk wasn't thinking much at all. He didn't tend to think; he was a creature of action. Sure, thoughts were there. It wasn't as though his mind was completely empty or anything. He just didn't have the patience for them. Sitting around and being introspective wasn't really in his nature. That was Banner's thing, and the Hulk was the anti-Banner.
So when a flood of thoughts rocketed through his mind at the sight of Iron Man holding a missile and shooting towards the portal in the sky, he wasn't entirely prepared. He froze in place on the roof of a building, dangling an alien off the side, and scowled. He didn't know or care much what Iron Man was doing, but somewhere in his mind, Banner certainly did.
And it was breaking him. Breaking Banner in his head, and there were a lot of thoughts that the Hulk had to try and slow down so that he could pick up the gist of it. Because he really really didn't have the patience for long complicated thoughts, but these ones were affecting him nonetheless.
The main points hit him as follows:
1. Iron Man was Tony Stark, the one Banner liked, the one who liked and trusted them
2. Iron Man was saving them all
3. Iron Man would die
And those thoughts brought a terrible grief into his heart, one that didn't originate from him, but from Banner. It was strong, and it confused the Hulk. It kept him immobile, but still raging with adrenaline as he stared upwards, knowing that he didn't want this to happen. And so it was that they stared together, because this was one of those moments where Banner was more awake in his mind than most times.
Iron Man vanished from sight, and the Hulk and Banner shared in their horror and grief, because the emotion was so strong in Banner, and the Hulk only remembered that Tony Stark didn't hate him, and didn't make him angry. And Banner ... Banner really cared for him. And the Hulk had never felt Banner's emotion so keenly before.
The Hulk threw the alien to the ground far below without shifting his gaze.
And then Iron Man was in the sky somehow, even though the portal had closed, and he was falling towards the ground. And Banner's heart leapt, and so did the Hulk's, and then a split second later, there were urgent thoughts again. The Hulk got the point very quickly.
They had to catch him.
As a creature of action, the Hulk responded to that thought almost in relief as he bolted forwards towards where Iron Man was falling. He didn't need logic or reason, because Banner was being clear here. They had to catch him, or he would die, and the Hulk didn't want that. He knew already the grief he would feel, because of the intensity of Banner's feelings.
The Hulk found he actually cared as well somehow, and he ran and leapt in a frenzy to get there in time. He grabbed at buildings and with a tremendous roar, launched himself into the air at Iron Man's falling figure, catching him in mid-air and only then thinking about breaking the fall. He used one arm to clutch at the nearest building to slow them down, feeling Banner's overwhelming relief. They landed, and because of the rush of desperation he felt, the Hulk turned to land on his back to break Iron Man's landing.
He tossed him to the ground and turned to stare the lifeless form. The intense fear of Banner washed over him with all those damn thoughts, so the Hulk was frozen, allowing Banner to stare down at Tony Stark through his eyes. The others gathered around them, but the Hulk was still immobile.
One of the others (the Hulk didn't care which one) removed the suit's helmet. The Hulk got to his feet, unable to tear his eyes away.
Iron Man wasn't moving. His face was blank. There was no light on his chest, which the Hulk gathered was bad, even though he didn't understand (or care) why.
Banner's heart went cold, so the Hulk's went cold, too. He didn't like the sensation, especially after having caught the man like that, and the rush of irritation briefly clouded Banner's consciousness. In his own mind again, the Hulk roared angrily at the unconscious Iron Man, and was decidedly pleased with himself when the man in question jerked awake with a cry of shock.
The Hulk roared again in triumph before Banner's relief overcame him, and the Hulk was relieved too, and the two of them were still together as they smiled down at Tony Stark.
The one Banner liked.
The only one the Hulk had ever liked. Well, almost liked anyway.
FIN
A/N: Thanks for reading ... Let me know what you think :-)