Disclaimer: Coulson and Clint are amazing and I wish I could say I owned them, but I don't.
A/N: Clint and Coulson are amazingly cute together, hence this story, but don't expect this to be the only person I ship Clint with, as I think Clint and Natasha are adorable too.
Clint used to think that Coulson's obsession with Captain America was cute. He'd even encouraged it, buying him comic books he didn't have and little mementos based off of the man. He liked to see Coulson trusted him enough to bear his inner nerd to him and thought it was adorable how excited he got when he thought there was a possibility of gaining a new thing to add to his collection.
So yes, Phil's obsession with the Star Spangled Man was cute.
Until the man turned out to be alive.
Clint liked to think when it was called for he could be professional. That didn't mean that as soon as he found out that the man had been unfrozen and Phil was going to meet him, he wasn't consumed with incredible jealousy.
Because it was okay when the man was a fantasy, a nerd obsession. But when he was real, a great lug of a man that even a lesbian would find attractive, with blond hair and sparkling blue eyes, it was certainly not okay.
How was Clint supposed to compete with that?
It was even worse once they actually started working as a team. The man was incredible, flipping over cars and punching enemies, and he healed a stab wound after like, ten seconds, and he finished a battle with ease, still full of energy, and meanwhile Clint was holding back a limp and battling against his pulled muscle, and he could see Phil freaking out at seeing Captain America in action.
So not cute anymore.
And Clint could ignore it for a while, could convince himself that he was being ridiculous. But he could only take seeing Phil's hand linger on the man's godly biceps before he wanted to shoot him in the knee.
It had become so bad that he couldn't stand to be in the same room as Captain America. Phil and Clint were curled on the couch, watching "Supernanny", Phil's favorite, when Tony and Steve wandered in, sitting in the seat next to the couch they were sprawled on, Tony's feet in Steve's lap. And when Steve said something and managed to get Phil to look away from the TV while the show was still going, something that even Clint could not do, and he had to leave before he punch Steve in the face for something that wasn't even his fault.
Phil didn't worry at first, when Clint left. He assumed it was for him to go to the bathroom or get food, or maybe even both, because Clint had the inability to watch TV without eating something with it. But then the next commercial had come up and Clint still had not returned, and Phil became worried.
He had noticed a slight change in Clint, ever since moving in. At first he had thought Clint was just waiting to get comfortable, but after Clint spent a whole day out of the vents, he knew it wasn't that. And usually Clint told him when something was bothering him. But he had been silent.
He got up, handing Tony the remote as he passed, and wandered to their bedroom, finding Clint lying on his stomach shirtless in the middle of the bed. He climbed up on the bed and straddled Clint's hips, pushing his knuckles into the taunt muscles of Clint's back. Clint was incredibly prone to having knots in his back, returning from missions so tense that he could barely bend, and by now Phil knew exactly how to sooth him.
"What's wrong Clint?" He asked after a few minutes of silence.
"Nothing," Clint said, not even bothering to try to lie. Phil allowed him silence for a couple more minutes, waiting until Clint's muscles were pliant underneath his fingers, and then tried again.
"Now the truth." He said sternly. "I know at least a thousand ways to torture a man, I suggest you do this the easy way."
"Steve's a superhuman," Clint said quietly. "And I'm only human." Phil remained quiet, waiting for him to finish. "How am I supposed to compete with Steve Rogers, Phil?"
Phil slid off of Clint and laid down beside him, meeting his eyes.
"Steve Rogers is amazing, I'll admit," Phil said, watching Clint's eyes dim. "But he's not you, and somehow, probably because you're annoying but persistent, I'm in love with you, Clint. Not Steve Rogers."
"But he can jump from buildings without getting hurt," Clint whined.
"And you can shoot an arrow from a mile away and still hit your target." Phil rolled his eyes. "Being human is what I like most about you Clint. You remind that no matter how crazy things get I'll still come home to find you in your boxers and socks, eating fruit loops by the box and watching N.C.I.S."
"I'm being stupid, aren't I?" Clint agreed, pushing his head under Phil's arm until it was around his shoulder.
"You are," Phil agreed. They sat in silence for a few moments before he spoke again. "Plus, I doubt Steve sounds half as good as you do when you sing in the shower."
So after, Clint, felt pretty secure in their relationship, secure enough that he could consider Phil's obsession, okay.
That's not to say the next time Steve talked to Phil, Clint didn't shoot a warning shot from the vent he was hiding in.