Disclaimer: don't own, etc.
"What's with you two today?" Darry asked.
"Nothing," Sodapop said.
"Nothing," I echoed, and sounded every bit as sullen as we both felt. It was more than either of us wanted to explain.
What happened was, Soda was up in the middle of the night and he got me up, too. "You awake?" he said, poking my shoulder hard enough to make sure I was.
"Well, I am now!"
"Oh. Sorry."
"You have a nightmare or somethin'?"
"No." He swallowed hard, and it was quiet so long I was about to say 'well then thanks a bunch for waking me up,' but he said, "I had a dream about mom."
That made me sit up and pay attention. It took a minute for him to talk about it because it was one of those dreams that's so vivid it scares you awhile. He told me it was a combination of stuff that really happened and some that hadn't...he talked about digging through her purse for a dime as a kid, and leaning up against her while she read him a story. There were bits of a birthday party thrown in, and he remembered her cool hands putting cream on his sunburned arm. "It was like she was here," he said with a wet sniffle. "I miss her so bad. Dad, too, but dammit...I miss mom so much."
"Me too." I put an arm around him and tried to ignore the burning in my throat.
"I'm sorry for waking you up."
"S'okay. You're always patient when I do it to you." He admitted that was true and we sank back down to our pillows, where he curled around me like a shell for the rest of the night.
He went back to sleep but I didn't for the longest time. At first I was jealous that he got the dream instead of me, but then I got stuck in the hopeless circle of missing mom myself. No matter what happens to me – college or even grownup success...there will still be a hollow part of me that won't ever heal all the way closed.
The sadness shadowed us into the next day, which Darry noticed. It was a sunny Sunday but all me and Soda could do was sit around and look miserable.
"If you two can't think of anything to do with yourselves there's a mile-long list of stuff that needs doing around around the house, you know." Soda's long face got longer, and I was kinda mad that Darry couldn't read our minds and know why we were both slumped on the couch with posture so bad my back hurt. Then I got an idea.
"Hey, Darry?" I asked. "Would you get mom's jewelry box down for us?" He seemed to understand then, and went off to his room to get it.
Soda looked over at me. "That's a good idea."
The three of us gathered around the dining room table for a ritual that's bittersweet but comforting at the same time, and we don't do it all that often because it wouldn't be as special if we did. It's just a plain wooden box with not much in it, but to me it's the most valuable thing we own. "Okay," Darry said, opening the lid. "Here we go." He always started by putting her wedding ring on his pinky finger, and it never went past his first knuckle. "Gosh she had small hands," he said, just like he did every time, and then passed it to Sodapop who tried it on his own finger before passing it to me. Next came the bracelet - a linked chain made of real gold, and last was a string of coral colored beads with earrings to match. If you ran the necklace under your nose, you could even catch the scent of perfume.
A while back we'd decided that each of us would get a piece of jewelry to share if we ever got serious girlfriends or wives - it made sense that Darry should have the ring, and Soda was always fond of the bracelet. I liked the necklace and earrings, so it was nice that we all got our favorite thing.
"Think you'll ever find a girl you want to give that to?" Soda asked Darry, who had the gold band back and was examining it with great care.
"You know," he began thoughtfully. "I kinda like the idea of it always staying mom's." Maybe he was considering the danger of giving it to someone who didn't deserve it...I think Sandy taught all three of us a lesson, whether she meant to or not.
"That's smart," Soda said, weaving the delicate bracelet between his fingers. "I might do that, too."
I let the string of beads pool between one hand and the other, and I remembered how whenever mom wore it, she'd wear lipstick the exact same color. If I ever get a girlfriend I can trust, maybe we'll go the drugstore and look for that same shade. I'm sure as heck not gonna go looking at makeup by myself.
"Hey Ponyboy," Soda said playfully. "Gimme one of them earrings." He clipped it onto his ear and yelped when the clasp snapped shut. "Oh man, how'd she wear these things?" It made me curious enough to try out the other.
"Ow!" He wasn't kidding - it pinched like you wouldn't believe. "That hurts!"
"You two look like a couple of crazy pirates," Darry said, which of course set Sodapop to talking like one.
"Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! Hey, Pony want a cracker?"
"Ha ha."
The old sparkle was back in his eyes. " Well? Do ya?"
We goofed around a little more, and when Soda ran out of jokes Darry collected the jewelry and brought the box back to its shelf. He also asked if we wanted to go for a ride later, which we did.
Soda looked over at me with soft eyes and said, "That was a real good idea, matey. I feel lots better."
"Yeah?"
"Well, not all better, but you know. Better."
"Yeah," I said, and smiled back. "Me too."