Something Like Human

Authors Note: I do not own RPM. I'm going to play with them a lot though.
This is a Summer/Dillon story. Someone who read it on LJ assumed that Summer was meant to be his Sister. (SPOILER FOR: Go for Green) Its pretty much confirmed to be Tenaya.
Rating: T (Dark Themes)
Timeline: Rain (possible spoilers if you've not seen Rain and Go for Green. And my own theory to Tenaya 7, Dillon's Sister. The one he was dreaming about)
Genre: Angst/Drama
Word Count: 1,259

I forgot what it was like to be human, to feel pain, to bleed. I didn't care, why should I? I had no attachment to anyone except for the girl whose white eyes haunt my dreams. I needed to find her. My lost…Sister. That feeling is strong. She was younger, reaching for my hand, waiting for me to take it and save her. I failed. I won't fail her again. I will find her. But then I pause. Something is holding me back. The one tie I have to this place.

Then I hear her screams, their cries, she's fallen. The girl bathed in Yellow. I turn my back on them for only a few more minutes before giving in and going to their aide. When I arrive, I do not expect to see the red and blue kneeling over her, screaming. They are surrounded and do not care.

I call upon my new power and defeat the hordes of Grinders. They fall effortlessly. It was no challenge to me…because I wasn't human. As I hear the men's sobs, I turn. Blood surrounds my boots and as I power down I look at her shuddering form as her organs begin to shut down. For a moment I forget everything but her face and fall to my knees. My jeans are soaked in her blood, and I find myself staring at her yellow hair soaked in red…such an ugly shade. I forgot what blood looked like, the smell, the horror it brings as her life fades more and more. The dark color draws me to her pale skin and her hand.

I look into her face and feel this one attachment slipping away. She was all I had to tie me here, to the team, them. The girl who trusted me so easily though she had no idea who I really was. I didn't know either but she was convinced I was worth it. I see the rejection in her eyes as they begin to lose focus. I let her down…and it cost her. She was dying because she trusted me. I warned her not to trust me with anything dear, especially her life. Somewhere within me, I knew this would happen.

I pull her to my chest and place my hands on her back, holding her close. There was nothing that could save her now, and all I wanted to was to feel her before that last second was gone. I wanted to feel her breathe, her heartbeat…that mocks me as it slows down. I forgot how fragile life was, she was, and because I was I didn't feel human anymore. I didn't want to feel human. Now…she paid.

Then I feel her shudder and still in my arms, her body has passed on. Until this moment, until she was the one in my arms dying, that meant nothing to me. Now it means everything. I bury my face in her yellow hair as the weight of what just happened settles over me.

"I'm sorry Summer…" I hear the soft melody of my watch and glance over. It had fallen from my pocket with enough force to open and its song makes me shudder as I see it bathed in her blood.

"This is your fault!" Flynn growls and launches himself at me as Scott pries her from my grip. "YOU HEARTLESS MONSTER!" his hands wrap around my neck and I let him try to strangle me though we both know full well that it won't work.

"I am…"I manage to grunt out. "Not human!"

"No? You felt her death; you took her from OUR arms and held her! You FELT her die. You FEEL! You ARE human! And just because you couldn't see that, cost Summer her life and she was the one who cared about you!" Scott snaps, as he gingerly touches Summer's face. There is something about his sorrow that hits me so hard. This isn't his first loss of someone he loved. He's reliving that death as he looks down at her. I brought that agony back on him.

Flynn sees Scott and flies into a darker rage and begins to hit me as his tears bathe my face. I don't remember what it's like to cry. To have a need to feel. But now I do…and I'm some kind of monster.

The melody plays on, its gentle tune mocking me. Making me think of one of the last times I saw her alive. She was staring down at me, watching me, as I listening to the melody, silently begging it to tell me something.

"Dillon?" a soft female voice whispers to me. "Dillon," it calls again from the melody…

My Eyes snap open to find Summer leaning over me. Her yellow hair is surrounding my face like a halo. I immediately seize her and pull her down to my chest. She shrieks and flails around until she realizes I'm hugging her. I can see her eyes through pieces of her hair and see that she is utterly surprised. I don't blame her. Unfortunately her cries had reached Flynn and he bursts in, looks at her, then me, then back to her since she stopped flailing.

"What in the hell-"

"I'm hugging Summer." I tell him.

"I can see that." He says shortly. "Summer, what in the hell were ya doin' in here?"

"I wanted to talk to Dillon! I didn't think he slept!" she says, though it's completely muffled into my chest. He mutters something and leaves. Only then do I let Summer up. She looks a bit shaken but she's ok.

"I apologize, I forgot how terrifying nightmares could be. I don't think I've slept in so long."

"Its ok Dillon, what did you dream?" she asked, her face is full of concern. She is full of so many emotions; she makes me want to feel. And I do a little bit.

"Your death. I dreamt that you died. Because of me, because I'm a monster, because I'm not human." Her face lights in surprise.

"What do you mean? You're not a monster and you're not not human," She tells me, it makes me smile.

"Then what am I?" I ask, I want to hear her answer, she pauses for a moment and her eyes scan my body. I realize she's focusing on the places where I have robotic implants.

"You're something like human. Eventually you'll realize that these implants aren't what make you who you are. It's you. And when you realize that, you'll know you are human." She smiles and stands, she holds my watch in her open palm. "Good night Dillon," she says softly and turns on her heel, heading for the door.

"Good night Summer and…thank you. I think," I tell her, I'm not sure what do to or how to feel now but it's a start. She just smiles over her shoulder at me and closes the door behind her.

--END--
This is a one shot. DO NOT review with CONTINUE. There is no more and won't be. There will be more RPM stories though. I hope you liked it.