Title: Caution, Trust, Friendship, Love
Author: WarriorsSlashLove
Rating: T/PG13
Genre: Angst, Romance
Characters/Pairing: AshSoot, AshSquirrel, AshWhite, AshLion
Warnings: Slash, AU
Summary: Ashfur knew he was doomed from the day he was born.
Disclaimer: Any and all characters mentioned in this story are property of Erin Hunter. I am not making any money off this story, and no copyright infringement was intended.

Always, it seemed, he picked the wrong cat. When he was little, an apprentice, a young warrior, it had been Sootfur he'd wanted. His hopes, his dreams, everything revolved around Sootfur. Ferncloud was the only one he could tell. She was his sister; no one else would understand.

Gray and gray, he remembered thinking, back when they were both apprentices. They deserved to be together, didn't they?

"I'm going to tell him," he announced to Ferncloud one day, when they were deep in the forest, where no one would hear.

Ferncloud gasped. "No, Ashfur!" she exclaimed. "You can't!"

He frowned. "Why not?"

"He… He wouldn't understand," she said quietly.

He scoffed. "Of course he would! Why wouldn't he?"

"Well… I've seen him looking at another cat," Ferncloud admitted.

Ashfur's heart dropped. "What? Who?" he demanded.

She shifted uncomfortable. "Well… Oh, Ashfur, I don't know if I should tell you."

"Of course you should!" he protested.

She looked unsure. "It… Squirrelpaw."

His eyes almost popped out of his head. "An apprentice?"

"He was an apprentice not so long ago," she pointed out.

He started pacing. "It can't be true! He loves me, I know it! He just doesn't realize it yet."

"Ashfur, he's a tom," she reminded him gently.

His head snapped up. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Well…" She hesitated. "Ashfur, toms are supposed to love she-cats, not other toms."

"Says who?" Ashfur demanded.

"StarClan, who else?" Ferncloud said, looking surprised.

"There's nothing about it in the warrior code," he said.

"Well, maybe there should be," she murmured.

He stared at her despairingly. "I'm your brother. You're supposed to support me."

"I do!" she wailed. "But Ashfur, it's not natural. Toms don't love other toms. Not the way you love Sootfur."

"You don't know that," he snapped. "Maybe there were others at some point. Maybe they never told anyone. Maybe they were scared."

"They should be!" Ferncloud retorted. "Ashfur, it's not right!"

"Unless StarClan themselves tell me that, you won't stop me!" Ashfur snarled. "No one will!"

He turned and stalked away. Ferncloud could only stand there, helpless and knowing there was nothing she could do.

The thing about Ashfur and Sootfur, the thing everyone always forgets, is that they were related. Half-brothers, with the same father, Whitestorm, Firestar's first deputy. It was easy to pass off Ashfur's interest in Sootfur as friendship, or older sibling protectiveness. After all, Clan cats tend to see no more than they want to.

Still, Ashfur wasn't stupid. He knew that his feelings for Sootfur would not be accepted by the Clan. If they found out, it was likely that he would be punished, forced to change, or worse, exiled from the Clan. But it had never been hard for Ashfur to conceal his feelings. Loving him was natural. It was just the way that Ashfur was. But love like this, as Ferncloud reminded him, between two toms, was not natural.

He pushed these thoughts out of his head. Surely there had been some other tom, somewhere, sometime, that had loved another tom the way he loved Sootfur.

Now, Ashfur approached his half-brother, giving him a week smile. Coming out, he decided ,was not fun.

"Hey, Sootfur," he said. "Can we… Can we talk?"

Sootfur frowned. "What's up, Ashfur?"

"Nothing," Ashfur assured him. "I just wanna talk to you."

"Sure." Sootfur stood and shot a smile at Squirrelpaw. Ashfur's heart skipped a beat. Is Ferncloud right?

"Catch you later, Squirrelpaw," Sootfur said. Ashfur could have sworn he saw the ginger she-cat roll her eyes.

Sootfur followed Ashfur out of the camp and up to the top of the ravine. From there, shfur would easily be able to see and scent anyone coming.

He took a deep breath and turned to Sootfur. The gray tom was studying him curiously.

"What's going on, Ashfur?" Sootfur asked.

Ashfur swallowed. No point in beating around the bushes. "Sootfur, I love you."

Sootfur burst out laughing. "Good one, Ashfur. Now what's up?"

Ashfur frowned. "Sootfur, I'm not joking," he said.

"Of course you're not, Ashfur. Now come on, what were you gonna tell me?"

"That is what I was gonna tell you!" Ashfur said despairingly.

Sootfur frowned. "So you dragged me out here just to tell me some stupid joke? Ashfur, I can't believe you!"

"No, Sootfur, I—!" Ashfur started, but Sootfur cut him off.

"Thanks Ashfur," the other tom snapped. "You made me miss a meal with Squirrelpaw for nothing!"

He turned and stalked away. Ashfur could only stand there, helpless and knowing there was nothing he could do.

That was the first lesson: Approach everyone and everything with caution.