I wish I owned the Winchesters or the show, but I own nothing... Except for maybe the first four seasons of Supernatural on DVD… that is all. Enjoy!
Supernatural Survival Manual
By ShadowsandDreams
-Salt is the best condiment EVER.
-There is no such thing as unicorns.
-Demons lie, and demon bitches should be shanked at the first opportunity that presents itself. (yeah Sam!)
-You should be afraid of the dark, the people with oddly colored eyes and overly emotional cupids.
-No matter what your brother says, reading up on dead languages will save your asses (Latin 101 Required)
-Angels are pricks, so study up on your angelic sigils (drawn in blood of course!)
-Like Dorthy, kill all the witches in your area but beware hex bags and normal looking subdivisions.
-Santa is real and if you see him, steak him through the heart with your Christmas tree. (will also work on Tricksters)
-Beware the puppy eyes, even Lucifer has realized their power over others.
-Deal with demons, don't make a deal with one.
-Gofer Dust and Devils shoestring is useful against hell hounds. If you happen to get yourself into this situation… nice job dumb ass! You should have read the manual first!
-If your last name is not Winchester you should avoid pissing off one or more of the following… Lucifer, Michael, Gabriel, the host of heaven in general, Lilith, Azazel, and Yorkies.
-Ghostfacers are dorks and should never be taken seriously, unless there is no other option.
-Garlic, silver, sunlight and crosses don't work on vampires. A stake and axe however work nicely.
-If it seems too good to be true, it's because it is and demons or reapers (or both) were involved.
-Metallica, Blue Oyster Cult and other such musicians will become your therapy in time.
-Check, double check and seal all exits when making a devils trap and make sure you have enough rounds when it does fail.
-Rock salt rounds: Good for getting rid of ghosts but stings like hell when YOU get shot.
-It's official, planes crash and clowns kill.
-Sacred oil, useful for stir-fry's, baths and trapping vengeful angels.
-Grave digging and all around hunting and slaying is a great way to burn calories and survive a zombie attack.
-Aliases are a must, famous and obscure references are perfectly acceptable.
-We need YOU to be a part of Team Choice! The third option in the Apocalypse and War between Heaven and Hell.
-Manborgs with laser eyes, cheesey Dracula and the Wolfman are really just ornery Shapeshifters. They are not bullet proof.
-Don't underestimate the determination or creepy devotion of a rabid fan girl.
-Blonde's are either bitch'n or demon bitches, there is no middle ground.
-Just because you've never heard of it, doesn't mean it won't kill you.
-Driver chooses the music and shot gun shuts his pie hole.
-LARP-ing is Live Action Role Play.
-Bobby is always right, idjit.
-If one of you develops super powers, assume it's not natural and get ready for things to get worse (ie Hells gates open or the end of the world)
-Normal will no longer apply to you or anything you do from here on out.
-If everything seems to be going great, it's probably because your mind is trapped somewhere outside of reality.
-Hunters do not play well with others or each other.
-If you have a bad memory when it comes to past events don't worry, they'll come back to haunt you soon enough.
-If You see God, tell him the Winchesters need to talk to him asap!
-It can always get worse.
-Life is a temporary state, sometimes death is too.
-Don't bet against a prophet, they already know they're right, you just have to wait longer to realize it.
Your basic arsenal should include but is not limited to…
-Rosary
-Reading material (bible, dad's journal, exorcisms for dummies, sigil diagrams, demon traps, ext. )
-Silver (bullet or raw form)
-Stakes
-assorted knives & daggers
-Sawed off shotgun
-standard shotgun
-The Colt and/or handguns
-Rock salt & holy water
-gasoline & matches
-cassette tapes
-laptop
-sacred oil
-flashlights
-assortment of fake badges