Arnold and Helga are the epic love story. They fight villains, save neighborhoods and liberate refugees. They are the angst-filled, insane love story that we all clamor around to hear.
But does anyone care about ours?
Phoebe sighs as she closes her diary. Arnold and Helga get soliloquies and fate intervening. They love each other with every fiber of their being. Is something wrong with us?
A knock on her bedroom door startles Phoebe out of her thoughts.
"Come in."
His hair precedes his body's entrance into the room by a full three minutes. "Hey babe. Konichiwa beautiful."
She smiles at the sight of her boyfriend. "Hi Gerald. What a pleasant surprise."
He walks over to her seat in front of the desk and places a soft kiss on her cheek. Gerald smiles to himself as he sits on her bed, noting the faint blush that stains his girl's cheek.
Phoebe swivels her chair to face Gerald, her boyfriend of four years. They began dating in the seventh grade where relationships were forged under supervised movie dates and minor heart attacks over hand holding. However, their love was sweet and innocent. It was strengthened by years of friendship and flirtation.
Gerald looks at the despondent look in his girl's eyes. "Phoebe, what's wrong?"
Nerves suddenly overtake her as she attempts to stutter some sort of response. "Y-yes Gerald, I'm f-fine." She flashes what she hopes is a distracting smile.
Gerald looks at her, none too convinced. "I've known you since preschool sweetheart. I know when you're lying to me. You try and flash that monstrosity, albeit cute, attempt at a smile. Pheebs, I want to be here for you. Tell me what's wrong baby."
She rises from her seat and takes the seat next to Gerald on her bed. Gerald, sensing her need for affection, wraps his arms around her and places her in his lap.
She sighs. "Gerald, have you ever thought there was something wrong with us and our relationship?"
His arms tighten around her waist. "What do you mean?"
"It's just that we're friends with Helga and Arnold and their love seems to transcend time and space. They love each other so passionately and so enormously that I wonder if we seem lackluster in comparison. They have the epic love story that all clamor to hear. We're just the background romance."
Gerald looks at Phoebe with sadness in his eyes. Did he do something to make his girl feel this way?
He takes a breath and gathers his thoughts. It's about time for the keeper of legends to tell another.
"Pheebs, we're not Helga and Arnold and honestly, we're never gonna be. Yeah they have their epic love story but it's not the only story out there. Let Gerald, the keeper of legends, spin another tale for his Oriental beauty."
Phoebe giggles and relaxes into her arms. "Listening!"
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Many years ago, a short boy, about three years old, with hair higher than his entire body was walking down the street with his big brother about to go to the park. He walks down one of the streets and sees a moving van on the street.
His brother says "Stop! Let's see whose moving in! Maybe they'll be some new hunnies for me to scope out."
The little boy was confused at his brother's statements. He didn't know what hunnies had to do with anything but he stopped and kept watch at the moving van.
He saw an older Japanese man and a redheaded lady. At first he was intrigued, but then his attention shifted to the little dark haired girl who trailed behind them.
She had big blue glasses and dark black hair. Now this little boy was mesmerized. He was convinced she was some sort of sorceress that had him entranced under her spell.
His big brother goes "Looks like there's no hunnies for me but watch out little bro, I see you about to get a little girlfriend!
The little boy's cheeks turn red at his brother's statements so he runs away from the street, terrified of the feelings he has in his heart when he sees this exotic enchantress."
Phoebe laughs. "That was YOU? I saw someone staring at me that day but I dismissed it as new neighbor curiosity. That's actually kind of sweet."
Gerald's heart warms at the smile on her face. "There's more to this tale baby."
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He sees her again in Preschool, a fun place they like to call Urban Tots. She sits on the mat, playing blocks and constructing things that are out of the scope of the three year old mind. He's amazed at her intelligence and terrified of its magnitude.
During art time, the teacher asks them all to draw their favorite things in the world. The little boy thinks to himself: What should I draw? I like basketball, baseball, my momma and daddy, my big brother when he's nice, my new best friend, the color red. He looks at his best friend's picture and is surprised to see it covered in pink bows.
He leans forward to grab a pencil and knocks the cup down. He's embarrassed, but suddenly, he sees the girl coming toward him. She leans down on the ground with him and says "Helping!" in a small, shy voice.
She helps him pick up everything he dropped. When he looks up to say thank you, he's entranced by her small brown eyes. The words get caught in his throat and he tries to choke out a thank you, but she's already back to her seat and coloring away.
He sits down at his seat and looks up at the girl with the blue glasses. He grabs a pencil and gets to work, finally figuring out what his favorite thing in the world just might be.
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Phoebe looks up at him in shock. She remembers that picture in preschool. Everyone else drew in typical kindergartener fashion, with stick figures and colors escaping boundaries.
But one picture stood out from the rest. It was so well done that the teacher had the photo hung in the entrance of the building. The shading and lines were professional and it lacked the innocence of an unpracticed hand.
What shocked Phoebe the most was that the picture was of her. It captured her features so beautifully that when she got home, she stood in the mirror for hours, wondering what the artist must have seen in her to make her look so beautiful. It was unsigned and the artist refused to step forward in front of the class so she never knew who to thank for that wonderful masterpiece.
"You drew me?" she whispers in a small voice. Gerald's skin darkened with a blush but he remained silent. "That picture made me feel so beautiful. Thank you hun." She places a light kiss on his cheek.
Gerald clears his throat. "Now let me continue."
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A few months later at Urban Tots, the little boy sees the girl playing with her blocks again. She seems to be enjoying herself and when she's happy, for some reason, he's happy too.
While she's playing, three boys come up to her. They see she's constructing something amazing, something far from the realm of thinking. But with callous disregard for the work she put in, they stomp her creation to death. They kick it to the ground until her Tahj Mahal is reduced to scattered block pieces.
He looks at the girl and sees her eyes beginning to water. He prepares to go up and defend her until he sees a blur of pink beat him to the punch.
"Who do you think you are, Pink-Boy? She's my friend and nobody messes with Helga G. Pataki's friends!"
The three boys laugh at the blond terror. "And if we don't?"
She steps up to the largest boy and punches him straight in the jaw and then knees him in the stomach. "Then you'll be real acquainted with my friends Old Betsy and the Five Avengers."
The way this girl defends the girl: he respects her. He knows he has to get her approval. But first, he has some business he needs to handle with three bullies.
In the bathroom, he hears them planning on getting revenge on the girl and her infamous new friend Helga. He steps into the conversation.
"Hey you wanna help us pound those girls?"
"One, my momma said it's not good to hit a girl. And two, NO! How about you pick on someone your own size?"
And on the middle of the boy's bathroom floor, he takes on three bullies in defense of her and earns their respect.
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"HAROLD GAVE YOU THAT BLACK EYE! You said it was Jamie-O!"
"Well, see what had happened was…"
"You got beat up defending us?"
"Can we forget this conversation happened? I kinda swore it to secrecy. Pataki will murder me if she finds out I took a few punches for her."
"NO! NOT FORGETTING! REMEMBERING!"
"How about we move on to third grade?"
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In February of third grade, the boy learns about a special day. It was known as Valentine's Day. His best friend loved this holiday. It was his chance to make all the girls in class smile by giving them their own personal valentine.
Over the years, the boy started developing strong feelings for the girl. They even became friends. He found her smart, organized and just freaking cute as hell. But his problem was that he didn't know how to tell her.
So when his teacher decided to make a project where everyone creates valentines for their classmates, he is excited. He makes two valentines: one generic one for everyone in the class and one special one that he signs anonymously so she won't feel obligated to share her feelings if she isn't ready.
When the cards are handed out, his heart warms because she beams as she reads his special valentine. He is so moved by her smile that he decided to make her two special valentines every year for a very long time.
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Phoebe blushes at his words. His feelings were running deep in the third grade? She gets up wordlessly and heads to her closet to pull out a shoebox. Gerald looks on, bemused, as she grabs this decorated shoebox and then situates herself back into his lap.
"That card in third grade made my day. I didn't expect to get anything at all. I saved every valentine you sent me anonymously and I didn't know it was you. Even when we started dating, I didn't figure it out. I just wondered why the anonymous cards stopped."
Gerald smiles at the thought. "Heh. So remember when I talked about how the boy would have to get approval from the best friend?"
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It was 7th grade at Hillwood Middle School. The boy swore up and down that this was the year: the year he would ask out his dream girl.
His dream girl has blossomed into a petite beauty. With exotic features and a petite stature, all he wanted to do was kiss her and then protect her from harm's way. But then he remembered how quickly she could slit him with a sword.
However, the girl had a loyal friend. He once thought she was an enemy and an evil viper. But then he saw the glimpses of good in her and remembered the lengths she went for her friend. Even more, when his best friend started dating her, he finally got to see the sweet side of her that everyone was convinced she had. He knew he would have to get her approval to prove he was worthy of his dream girl.
"Hey Helga, can I talk to you a minute?"
"Yeah sure, Tall Hair Boy, what gives?"
He started shifting his weight on his feet and fidgeting nervously. "Ummm, I, uhhh, I ummm…"
"Spit it out already!" she said exasperatedly.
"IwanttoaskPhoebeonadate!"
Her eyes narrowed to slits and her mouth drew into a tight line. "You. Want. To. Do. What?"
He took a deep breath. "I want to ask Phoebe out on a date."
"Why you telling me?"
"Because she's your best friend and I know how much you want to protect her, especially from guys who might take advantage of her. And I respect you for that. I think you're a great friend for doing that. And I know that if I ask her out, she'll come to you for advice and to see if I'd be a good guy for her. So I want to talk to you first. I want to let you know that I'm not asking her out to 'make out under the bleachers' or 'cop a feel' and all of that other stupid crap. I saw her the day she moved into Hillwood and she's been in my mind ever since."
"Uh huh. And?"
"And I'd say she's been running through my mind all this time but that would be a grave understatement. She walks through my mind, manipulating every brain cell into thoughts of her. She's so ingrained in my being that sometimes I swear she's tattooed her name and likeness on the inside of my eyelids so that whenever I close my eyes, I'm graced with her presence. So I wanted to talk to you first and let you know that if you think I'm worthy of your friend, then you don't have to protect her from me. But the real paradox in that idea is that she's so amazing that no one can ever be worthy."
The friend looks to the boy with cautious eyes. She gauges his facial reactions to rate the sincerity in his statements.
"Tall hair boy? You serious?"
"Helga, you know that I have a problem with image. Sometimes I think image is everything. So do you really think I would come to you like a straight pussy, dropping my feelings like this, if I wasn't serious?"
She raises her eyebrows at him. "You love her?"
"Now that I don't know. But I'd really love the chance to find out."
She looks at him, at first, with a blank expression. Then, she fights off the smile that creeps its way onto her features. "You got no arguments from me, Geraldo! You got a plan on how to ask her out though?"
The boy's face lights up. "No. But I'd really appreciate some help Pataki."
It takes a week for them to come up with the perfect plan to ask her out. It takes two weeks for him to get the balls to go through with it. It takes 30 seconds for him to fuck it up. And it makes his entire lifetime when she takes 5 seconds to say yes.
And every November 26th, he remembers the day those ten years of wishing finally came true.
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Phoebe looks at Gerald with tears in her eyes. "So that's our story, huh?"
Gerald uses his thumb to wipe away the tears that escaped. "Yeah Pheebs. Our story isn't the epic like Helga and Arnold. But we have a story too. Their love is the way it is, not because it's better or stronger than ours, but because of other factors like parental neglect and abandonment and personal insecurities. Their love is obsessive and all-encompassing, right?"
"Yeah."
"We could have that if we wanted. But I don't want that for us. I don't want to consume you and be your everything. I want to be one of the important things in your life, but I still want you to remember to have a life. I want you to miss me when I go away, not break down into a suicidal mess. I don't want to consume you because I don't want to destroy you."
Phoebe looks to Gerald and smiles. "I'm sorry Gerald. I didn't think about it that way. It's just…I was envious of the nature of Helga and Arnold's romance that I solely focused on the lack of that in ours. But we have love in our romance. Love that is pure and innocent not rooted in other evils. I love you Gerald. Forgive me?"
Gerald presses butterfly kisses down her jawline. "Forgiven!"
They laugh. Gerald whispers in her ear "Our love doesn't have to be the epic for the world, baby, because it's ours. And the only people that matter in our romance are us."
Phoebe turns in Gerald's lap so that she's straddling him. "So we're the only ones that matter?"
"Yup."
She places a feather light kiss against his lips. "And what we do, we do for ourselves?"
Gerald gulps. "Yup."
"So how about me and you make a little epic explosions of our own?"
Gerald captures her lips in a passionate exchange. He runs his hands up the back of her shirt and presses her body closer to his. He nibbles her lower lip and she parts them eagerly, allowing his tongue to slip inside and fight for dominance against hers. The need for air arises and they part breathlessly.
"You're a bold kid, Phoebe, a bold kid."
A/N: I'm cranking out the one-shots today :)
-Same thing: don't own Hey Arnold...its a Craig Barlett, Nickelodeon thing
-Decided to write a Hey Arnold fanfic about the couple we love to love. They're sweet and so underrated. Gerald and Phoebe are so adorable and their kids would be SMOKING (pretty blasian babies)
-I didn't write Gerald speaking "hood" in this fic mainly because I'm sick and tired of the token black kid on each show having to be the ghettoest person on the planet. Dude, black people can speak like they're educated without sounding "white." And plus, since everyone in HA! world lives in the hood, its either they all speak hood or none of them do. (Sorry for my venting)