Disclaimer: I do not own any of the wrestlers in this story, the WWE, Caramelldansen, the banter from South Park, Monty Python, or anything else. No profit is to be made from this. NEVER EVER. Enjoy.
WWE Stripping Party…the sequel?
"Yes, you heathens, I have returned. And I, am going to strip." World Heavyweight Champion Chris Jericho stated into the microphone.
The crowd booed vehemently, but was ignored by the best in the world at what he does.
"Silence! Now is the time to show my glorious body!"
But before he could begin, the Hart Dynasty's music blared through the arena.
"Hey buddy! What are you doing? What is this all aboot?" Natalya Hart asked.
"I'm not your buddy, guy!" Jericho retorted.
"She's not your guy, pal!" D.H. Smith retorted back.
"I'm not your pal, buddy!" Jericho re-retorted.
"He's not your buddy, guy!" Tyson kid retorted back as well.
"Enough! You three hypocrites don't realize how important stripping really is! You pink wearing heathens will not only witness an art form, but one of the greatest bodies that ever graced this ring!" Jericho stated.
The Hart Dynasty looked at each other, and formed into a group huddle. They discussed something for a short while, then broke.
"Jericho, we have a request…" Natalya said.
Jericho's face turned into a state of slight confusion.
"And that request is?" Jericho asked, apprehensively.
"That we join you, fellow Canadians to another fellow Canadian, to celebrate this wonderful art form." Natalya negotiated.
Jericho stroked his chin, thought, and smiled.
"What a wonderful idea. Come on up Hart Dynasty, and let's strip! Let's take off our clothes, and strip!" Jericho said, with relish in his voice.
The Hart Dynasty went to the ring, and just before Jericho could say, "Hit the music", Edge's music blasted through the arena. Edge stood on the stage, with intensity in his eyes.
"Jericho, you and I are going to Wrestlemania, the grandest stage of them all, to battle for the World Heavyweight Championship. But before then…"
Edge paused, leaving Jericho and the Hart Dynasty to hang on to Edge's cliffhanger.
"I don't see why I can't be involved in this epic stripfest that you are arranging." Edge said, with an evil smile.
Jericho smiled too.
"I don't see why either. Come on down!" Jericho said.
Edge sprinted to the ring, and took off his leather jacket.
"Any others? Who wants to make stripping destiny?" Jericho asked.
Then, Christian's music blasted through the arena. He walked to the ring, and looked at everybody disapprovingly.
"I just have one thing to say to all of this…" Christian said.
"…stripping rules!" He concluded.
"Totally!" Edge agreed, giving a thumbs up.
But to everyone's surprise, William Regal's music blasted through the arena. Wearing a suit and looking very posh, he spoke.
"Ello, ello. What's all this then?" He asked.
"Stripping!" Everybody in the ring said, simultaneously.
"Rather. Here I come, chaps." He said, walking gracefully to the crowded ring.
"Now, hit the music!" Jericho commanded.
To the strange song, "Caramelldansen", the wrestlers stripped to the unwelcoming crowd. The mothers covered their children's eyes, and the teenage fans sighed and shook their heads sadly.
But then…
Bret, the Hitman, Hart's music blasted through the arena, shocking everyone in attendance, including the wrestlers in the ring.
Clad in a leather jacket and shades, the Hitman looked at the ring disapprovingly.
"Oh my Lord in Heaven! You're Bret the Hitman Hart!" Jericho said, excitedly.
"That I am." Bret retorted, rather coldly.
"Would you like to str…" Edge asked, but was cut off by Bret.
"You are all dead to me. Each and every one of you. I did not come back for this crap. What is this? A bunch of Canadians and an Englishman stripping to a Swedish pop song? How low has this industry fallen? I remember back in a time where wrestlers would, you know, WRESTLE? Stripping? Really? You know what? I award you all no points, and may God have mercy on your souls." Bret ranted.
Everyone, in their undies no less, bowed their heads in shame, for their hero had shunned them.
"Oh, and one more thing. Play them off, keyboard cat!" Bret bellowed.
On the Titantron, Keyboard cat played his familiar epic fail tune, leaving the wrestlers in the ring to exit in shame, with the crowd laughing and jeering the wannabe strippers.
The moral?
Don't let a large group of WWE wrestlers strip in the ring, or else a WWE legend will berate them, and humiliate them on a global scale with an internet meme.
Wait…what?!
The End.
Meanwhile, at another company…
"Ha! Finally, justice is served!" Jeff Hardy said smugly.
The locker room door was kicked open, and Hulk Hogan entered.
"You know something brother? Hulkamania is running wild! Whatcha gonna do?!" Hulk Hogan bellowed, as he tore off his shirt.
"I know boss. I know…" Jeff said, losing his smugness.
Really The End.