Promises are Shtako

AN:: As far as I know, what I am writing about Defiance and it's inhabitants is true to the last episode of Season 1.

Warning: suicidal thoughts, spoilers for S1, mainly 1x12.

I'll try not to deviate from the storyline too much but I will be adding references to the game here and there.

Authors notes cutting through the fic will be in Bold-Italics.

I know there are two ways (that I'm aware of) to spell Connor, (Conner, Connor), but I'm sticking with the British traditional way of Connor, simply because I am British and that is how I have been taught to spell the name. Apart from that all my spellings are correct to subtitles except maybe Irathient.

I) Running without Looking Back

I am Joshua Nolan. I am an arkhunter and the ex-lawkeeper for Defiance. In the past four, five months, my life has taken many twists, some for the greater good, some that, to be honest, are really shtako. My daughter is missing, my home is being dictated by the E-Rep, and I am forcing myself to get away from the past, yet again. I had a good run, hell, I even came close to dying a few times, but staying there is just going to hurt, and when it's under Earth Republic rule, the one thing Defiance prided itself on not being, life would be a whole bunch of shtako.

So I ran. When the E-Rep announced they were seizing control, I ran, without thinking. I kept my guns, I needed them. Why wouldn't I leave them? They're full of memories, especially my sidearm. That may be a reason to leave them behind, but if I'm heading out to the Badlands, I need a weapon. It's an obvious rule, you're your own protection, don't trust anybody without good reason. Sure, the E-Rep assault rifle didn't mean much but it was powerful, and I had helped kill some E-Reps while liberating Irisa. Then Black Jonah shot me. That's when Irisa ran. I must have blacked out or something, but I felt... dead? I don't know what death really feels like, but it was weird.

We made a rule, "We live or die together." We decided to stick to it, I even promised her that. I remember what she told me, just before we came across the arkfall that started it, "Promises are shtako." I don't know what to do now, though. Suicide seems the most viable option, but that's just as bad as being a Castithan, and shaming your Liro. All it will do is land you in deeper shtako.

Everything is shtako. I'm dead weight to everybody. Had I known where Kenya was, and had Amanda been voted in to stay for mayor, I would have paid her for her services. She might not have accepted me as a client, though. I heard she had cut down on her clientèle list, but if that's true, I don't know if I would still be on it. I could have taken my mind on things, maybe even pay her more as a thanks for her services. I doubt it, though, after Eddy came along, chasing Pol. He was right, though, we all know a war is starting. But I know I'm right, too – his WMDs can stay out of it.

Nolan was at the Irathient village when Stahma murdered Kenya, so he wouldn't know she was killed.

Datak Tarr forced me to step down from my post as lawkeeper, with his propaganda campaign against Amanda during the election. Had I still had the power, I would have made sure that nothing could happen to Irisa. I trusted Yewll but she left her to the E-Rep. I got answers from her, when

Irisa ran. It wasn't a Votan parasite, it was old Votan artefacts, keys to a deadly Votan weapon.

In the deleted scenes on the box set, Nolan chased up Yewll about Irisa running off when she was supposedly 'paralysed by a Votan parasite'.

Maybe, just maybe, if she is dead, Irisa will be in Irzu's domain, she'll be reunited with Sukar, Rathus, and the other Irathients that died in the past few months.

He would have found out which I-raths were killed, during the plague Rathus was shot by the miner, and I forgot his brother's name – he was murdered by the E-Rep sniper.

Rafe lost almost everything he cared for in these few months, too. His son Luke, he was killed for one of the keys. He had it in his possession, an Indogene, the old assistant to the mayor to be exact. Then his other son, Quentin left to find their mother. Rafe told me everything, and in return I stood by him. I wasn't trusting, at first, but in the end I opened up. To most people. I never trusted Datak, and I was always looking for a viable way to get rid of him for good.

Amanda was a great friend and a much greater leader. She never thought she was up to the task but she helped rally people against the Volge attack. She lost an important person in her life, when Connor was killed by the Irathient during the plague, yet she still stood strong. I'm gonna miss her, gonna miss everybody. But I have no place in Defiance. Everything that I stood for, that Amanda, Rafe, all of us opposing Datak, all that we stood for, has been for naught with the E-Rep takeover. I would hate to just up and leave but nothing that I can do or say could atone for my actions, for my cowardice.

I'm going to lose everything. I remember what Amanda said. "Defiance is a town of new beginnings. It's a place to put our past behind us, to start afresh!" Maybe she was saying that the new beginning was leaving the town to start a new life. But I'm not really starting over, I'm just going back to an old profession – arkhunting.

And as I look out to the town, wish the inhabitants luck, I turn my back on the town for the final time, and I begin to walk, not looking back, my slow steps soon turning into a run. Maybe I'll get an EGO implant, that could be a massive help in making a bigger name for myself. I don't know what I'm doing, what I'm thinking, all I know is that I'm ending my life as the Joshua Nolan I have been, and I will start fresh as a different Joshua Nolan – one who stands by his promises, who isn't so quick on the trigger, one who will do everything to stand up against anybody threatening anybody's existence.

From this day on, I, Joshua Nolan, pledge my allegiance to nobody except myself. I will take the oath to protect everybody in danger and make a living for myself as a freelance mercenary and an arkhunter. From this day on, I am no longer a citizen of any town, any city, I am a free person.

I am Joshua Nolan. I am an arkhunter and the ex-lawkeeper for Defiance. Promises are shtako. I have lost everything, but I stand by my own words.

I come to an outpost, a small border town, and I sit down. I take in my surroundings, and see a sign; "Welcome to Iron Demon Ranch.!", and I walk into a overcrowded bar. I buy a drink, and I sit, slowly drinking it, slowly looking around the bar, recognizing the faces of the dead. My past has caught up with me but I don't care, these people aren't real, I'm just dreaming. I know this to be true because the dead can't rise again. I see the dead Casti boy, Pol Madis, Sukar. I see Jonah Keller, the damn bastard who shot me, I see the dead Castithan deserter, even Kenya. I see everybody there, everybody that has had a hand in making me the person I am right now, everybody with a connection to Defiance. But when I see Kenya, I know something is wrong.

I'm up, looking at the Indo bartender. "What the hell did you give me?" I ask, my voice gruff, my gun drawn. I'm aiming it at his head, he's looking back at me, and I'm waiting for his answer.

"You asked for Votan ale, so that's what I served!" he replies, the fear in his eyes obvious. I glare at him, then lower my gun.

"That's not Votan ale, I know the taste of it." I say. I tip the glass over the bar, then leave the building. I look around, maybe I could earn some scrip somewhere, but if I can't, I'll find another town, however if past experiences are anything to go by, there's always jaja to be earned, especially in a new world.

I mutter a few human curse words under my breath, realizing I'll have to enter the bar again. I turn around, taking the steps forward into the bar, and walk up to the bartender, his eyes ever fearful. "Know anywhere I can earn some money? Preferably using a gun."

He nods. "There's a place near here. They call it the UTAH Company post, but it's a Echelon outpost. You'll be in good shape for them, I think." He tells me, and I grunt.

"Echelon? What business do they have here?" I ask, even though I already know.

"Treasures, mainly in the Gulanite mines of Defiance." He replies, and I nod.

"I know that much but that's E-Rep in general." I tell him. "So what the hell is Echelon doing here? And what do you have to do with them?"

"There's an old Votan ark, fully intact, in the mines. It's a warship, holding the most powerful weapon we know. Or so we think. It could be a myth. Only the Devouring Mother can power and use it. As for me, Echelon got desperate with it's recruits."

"The Devouring Mother, eh? That's a bunch of shtako, I know it is. And by desperate, how desperate?"

"The Shadow War. Echelon recruits top-notch arkhunters, splits them into two teams, equips them and makes them fight. Any casualties and Echelon pays the reconstruction fees, but they only take people with EGO implants for that reason. If you don't have one, they charge you 4K in script to be implanted, or you can leave."

"How long has the War been going on?" I ask him, testing his knowledge.

"A few years. The winning team of each battle reaps the rewards. Most battles are near major arkfalls. The losing team goes home with a sour taste."

I nod, then look around, the bar is emptying slowly.

"So, where is it? How near?" I ask.

"By near, well, I mean it's behind the bar. I'll take you there later, I can't do it with everybody watching. It would give us away."

"I'll meet you back here in say, two hours?" I suggest, wanting to rush him, intimidate him. It's not something I would usually do but I don't like the look of this guy, he's too shifty for me, and shifty people generally jump the gun. Or the charge knife, the cold fire weapon, anything that they could be holding. Still, if I'm looking at him, and I'm wary, he can't do much to me. Especially when I'm known to be quick on the draw.

He nods again, before leaving to tend some customers who just walked in. I decide not to question him further, looking around the town for the two hours. I see a garage, and I know I could buy a roller, which is good. After I hit a payout, I'll get the roller, get my equipment and I'll high-tail it out to the B-lands.

Of course, I'll have some more trouble there, but I've always had trouble, so I can't really give a damn enough about that. I have lived in the Badlands before, it's a place any arkhunter, bounty hunter or even tracker can make a name for themselves and earn some scrip.