Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers.
A/N This takes place after the events of Iron Man 3
The Avengers' Child Dilemma
Chapter 1: Discovery of the Children
The Avengers had a meeting on the Helicarrier with Nick Fury, Director of SHIELD. Believe it or not, none of them wanted to be there. For some reason, the Council thought that the Avengers needed better press. And so here they were in the conference room… discussing the merits and cons of the Council's plan for better press.
"What?!" yelped Tony after Fury finished explaining the Council's plan. "You can't be serious here Nicky. Me and children DO NOT MIX!" he cried hitting the table for emphasis. "I mean, how would you expect us to even take care of them? I really can't even take care of myself even. Just ask Pepper or Bruce, they'll tell you. You can't expect me of all people to be able to take care of a kid! I'm just too busy, not to mention how distracting and annoying they'll be. You can't just-" Tony rambled hysterically before being cut off.
"Shut up, Stark. You can and you will, all of you. It's not like we even have a choice," Fury sighed. "The Council is threatening to shut down the Avengers if we don't go through with this. 'Too much bad press' they say," Fury added while rolling his eye.
"But sir, It'll be a danger to the children," Steve complained worriedly.
"No buts Rodgers. I don't like it either. Any more complaints?" Fury asked sternly.
"Well, now that you mention it…-" Clint began before being interrupted.
"That was rhetorical Agent Barton," Fury sighed, glaring at all of them, "Like it or not, all of you will be hosting a child each for a week. Any questions?"
Natasha started, "Sir… do we get any choice as to which children we get stuck with, or will we get a choice as to who will be staying with us?" she asked softly.
"Good question Agent Romanoff. What's going to happen is that tomorrow the Council is going to have a commercial running throughout the day on many different television channels and radio stations. You will choose from the applicants who will mail their letters to you," Fury responded matter-of-factly.
"So we will get to choose from the little Midgardians who request our company?" Thor boomed.
Bruce rubbed his temples, "Yes," he sighed and turned to look at Fury, "I personally don't think this is a good idea. But," he added unhappily while running his hands through his hair, "I know it's necessary."
"Good. Now that we all understand the situation," Fury stated with a pointed look at Tony, "Class dismissed."
LINE BREAK
On the way back to the tower from the Helicarrier, the Avengers discussed their new agenda in the quinjet.
"My friends!" Thor cried out, "Meeting with the little ones will be great fun indeed!"
Everyone looked unconvinced.
"By doing this, they're putting the kids into danger." Steve muttered angrily, seeming put out.
Bruce sighed. "I'll have to agree with you there Steve. What if I accidently 'go green' in front of them?" he inquired worriedly, while managing to look incredibly nervous by wringing his hands together.
"Then we'll handle it," Tony rejoined, patting Bruce's shoulder comfortingly. "What I'm worried about is me. You guys know how antisocial I am. I won't survive the week…"
Clint spoke up, "You'll do fine Tony… sure, you'll annoy the kid a lot with that Stark charm of yours, especially when you start flirting with their mother… even if you don't mean it, because it's second nature to you." His forehead creased in thought, "We'll have to make sure all the weapons and alcohol and medicine are locked up. We wouldn't want them getting into it."
"Clint's right," Natasha chipped in, while crossing her arms. "We'll also need to decide which levels of the tower are safe for the children to live in. Should they live together, or do we each get to share a floor with our respective kid?"
Bruce answered, "It'd probably be best if we shared with the kids. That way, if something happens, the kids can each have an adult to go to." He turned to face Tony with a look, "Tony, this means that you should cut down your hours in the lab. You need your sleep anyways, and this way the kid will be able to find you."
"Can't you guys just take care of my kid for me?" Tony cried out. He only met blank stares. "Fine….," he sighed at length.
"Tony does have a bit of a point there though," Steve piped up. When he met incredulous looks, he elaborated, "We do need to appoint a designated babysitter for the kids if something comes up. One of us can watch over them, Pepper can come over, or we can get SHIELD to send some agents."
"I think it would be the safest for them if one of us watched over them." Clint seconded. "But… that might be a problem depending on how dangerous the villain or catastrophe is…" he added.
Right then, the quinjet landed. They all went inside to the communal living room and took their respective seats: Clint in the rafters, Tony on the sofa with Bruce, Natasha on a recliner, and Thor on the couch with Steve.
Tony continued their conversation, "Why don't we ask the kids who they want for a babysitter." Tony yaaaawwwwwwwnnneeed loudly, covering his mouth with his hand. After, he looked as if he was going to get into trouble.
How right he was. Immediately after Tony yawned, Bruce looked worried. He never heard Tony yawn. Therefore, Tony must be really tired, which meant he hadn't been getting enough sleep. Bruce asked JARVIS, "How long had it been since Tony has slept?"
JARVIS answered to his inquiry, "It has been fifty-two hours, thirty-four minutes, and seventeen seconds since sir has last slept." He added in a scolding tone (which he somehow managed despite being an AI), "I would really suggest you go to bed sir."
Tony seemed reluctant. Eventually, Steve and Bruce had to come and drag him to his bed. After settling him in, with a stern warning to go to sleep, they left.
And so, the Avengers anxiously waited to see the commercial the Council had made and to get this whole ordeal over with.