Ok, this was an early Xmas gift for a friend of mine. She actually asked for Tatsuki/Renji pron. I couldn't write pron if I wanted to and had a gun to my head. But the way she phrased it (yes, as Tatsuki/Renji) spawned a crack bunny. And this is as close to pron as I'm ever gonna get. ...I still can't believe I wrote this... I hate my brain...
Renji and Tatsuki are making out, and of course, Tatsuki quickly wins the dominance battle.
"Wait, how the hell is this gonna work?"
"With this!"
"... you have a strap on?!"
"Uh, yeah. Actually I confiscated it from Chizuru one time. She wanted to get Orihime to 'try it out' with her."
"...You humans are insane."
"You're one to talk, Ukezaru."
"What the hell? Call me that again and I'll-"
"You'll what?"
"Thought so. So which one do you want me to use?"
"...Why do you have so many?"
"Chizuru."
"That girl... She's almost as creepy as Kurotsuchi-taichou."
"You have no idea. So how about this one?"
"That's... small. And reminds me of..."
"Of what?"
"Yamamoto's."
"What?! You peeped on your commander?!"
"It was an accident! A group of us were going to the spa for some R&R and didn't know he was in there..."
"Ew."
"We all got very drunk that night. And if I wasn't so horny, that woulda definitely killed my mood."
"I bet. So how about this one?"
"... If I wanted to get screwed by a horse, I'd just go find one."
"Okay, how about this one?"
"What's with all the... bumps?"
"No idea."
"That one from Chizuru too?"
"Uh... actually, it's from Orihime."
"... what?"
"She saw me taking the strap on from Chizuru and decided to get me an 'accessory'. I think she just liked how it looked."
"... I ain't testing it."
"Fine, how abo-"
"How about I just look at what you have and choose?"
"Sure, go for it."
"... Good god, don't you have any normal ones?"
"Doubt it, they're all from Chizuru, minus a couple from Orihime."
"... ya know, I thought I was too horny to care, but it seems I was wrong. How about I go out and get one I wouldn't mind and we can pick up where we left off tomorrow?"
"That would probably be best..."
"See ya."
Uh, and for those who're reading 'Be Careful What You Ask', it'll be updated soon. Hopefully. As long as I don't get mobbed by another hoard of crack!bunnies...