Sweet Waiting
Chapter 1: Beckoning of the Ocean
Ocean waves collide into sandy beaches, crashing up jagged rocks and sending breezes of salty air towards the city. The sun sits low, barely hanging on its hinges just above the riveting waters. Clouds are vacant from the sky, letting the stars begin to pierce the rich blue of the night.
Just a mile from the city, and edging towards the black abyss is James Tiberius Kirk, letting the high waves and roaring waters call to him, beckoning him to the icy ocean of February. The night air is still and the sun is providing the last warmth of the day.
To the right, boats are lined up, tied securely to the docks, but rocking gently in the water. And just further down is the Coast Guard Station, lights still on and several cars parked outside.
"Thought I might find you here."
The voice is of thick Georgian accent, and the drawl is just heavy enough to bring a wave of southern hospitality to Jim's feet.
"Clear night."
Jim nods, his voice still rough and dry from the night before.
"You know you can't blame yourself for that."
He can only snort a laugh that disguises his sob of utter brokenness. Of course he can blame himself. He always can.
His one and only southerner, Leonard McCoy, or who he likes to call "Bones", sighs, boots shifting in Californian sand, "Why don't I take you home, we'll get some drinks and settle down."
Jim squeezes his eyes shut, pinching the bridge of his nose, blocking out the sudden screams of memories hounding his thoughts.
Suddenly there's a sturdy hand on his shoulder, anchoring his mind to the present. The hand then slowly turns him away from the ocean and into an embrace. His head is guided to strong shoulders with one of Bones' arms slung around his neck and the other around his waist, leaving Jim to grab the front of the southerner's shirt and with his other arm, hook around Bones' armpit.
Then, he's actually shivering, despite the fact there's no winter draft blowing through, just salty airs that he's so used to, he shouldn't shiver.
"It's alright Jimbo; it's not your fault."
A sob rips through his throat violently and Bones' hand finds its way to soft blond hair, kneading the younger man's head.
"It's my job Bones." Jim whispers hoarsely, biting his lower lip to stop it from trembling, his chest is already shaking with sobs.
Bones hums quietly, "I know, but that doesn't mean you get to save everyone. Sometimes you lose people."
Jim shakes his head into Bones' shoulder.
They shouldn't have lost anybody. The mission had started out terribly, with them scrambling just to get over the bar, almost being pitch pulled due to their frantic haste. By the time they got there, the ship had already been flipped over, due to the constant crashing of waves. There wasn't much they could do, but then they realized that the lifeboats had been deployed. So they began their search for them. They managed to find one lifeboat, with five people huddled on it. Only one person made it off of that lifeboat. That one survivor said that there were seventeen people on that boat, and everyone made it on a lifeboat. But Jim only saved one person.
"Just let it out kid." Bones soothes and Jim grips his shirt tighter.
One person. John Harrison he believed was the name. He can't believe that out of seventeen people, only one made it out alive. That one person now has to live with losing all those people, surviving that awful event. All because he didn't get there in time. All because the first person they pulled from that lifeboat was John Harrison and after that, the lifeboat was flipped and the people plummeted beneath the dark waves of the night.
Jim shakes involuntarily, "I let them die."
"Kid, there was nothing more you could've done." Bones replies softly, grasping Jim's shoulders to keep him at an arm's length away.
The blond nods, sniffling quietly.
"Alright, c'mon, let's get you inside. You're shaking like a leaf in the wind." Bones comments, stripping himself of his old hoodie and bringing it down over Jim's head, "Bones, please." Jim protests, but Bones shakes his head, "I'm getting you warmed up."
Bones slings an arm around his shoulders and guides him away from the beckoning ocean tides, with the sun riding low behind them, casting long shadows before them. Jim sighs and lets himself be lead away, warmth surging through his body, with the sweatshirt's sleeves running well past his knuckles and the sides extra baggy on his slim frame.
His best friend takes him to the old pickup truck, even opening the door for him and placing an experienced hand on his back to make sure he climbs in. Bones then scrambles into the driver's seat, jamming overused keys into the ignition and letting the engine purr.
There's only silence between them as Jim dries his tears with a large sleeve and Bones focuses on the road, the San Diego beach disappearing with the sunset. Soon enough the stars begin to peek through black space, glinting gently in the night.
"Want a drink?" Bones prompts, but Jim shakes his head, letting his shoulders sag and his hands to fall into his lap motionless.
He hears Bones sigh and a scratching sound as the southerner itches his beard.
"Okay, we'll go home then."
The engine hums the whole way they, Bones letting the truck coast through the deserted streets country side lanes. Then he pulls towards the city lights and to their shared apartment.
Bones kills the engine casts Jim a weary glance, watching the blond's head loll in sleep.
Next thing Jim knows, Bones is opening his door and unbuckling him from the seat. He groans and goes to swing his legs out, but the southerner is already scooping him from the truck, he finds himself without the energy to protest. Instead, he lets his best friend carry him into their apartment bridal style, Jim's eyelids drooping tiredly in exhaustion.
"Alright, hold on Jimbo." Bones tells him, setting him down onto his wobbling legs to pull out a pair of keys to unlock the door.
Jim hears Bones rattle the keys, and then a clank when they fall to the ground. There's a mumbled 'shit' and Bones scuffling to pick them up and put the key into the lock. With the door ajar, Jim is led inside, hands keeping him steady and guiding him as his eyes fail to focus on his surroundings.
"Warm shower, than bed." Bones decides gruffly, steering him towards their shared bathroom.
Jim's set down on the toilet, and he's vaguely aware of Bones scampering away to find him some clean pajamas to change into before coming back.
"Need help?" Bones asks gently, but Jim shakes his head, "No…no I'll be fine."
Bones nods, "Okay, I'll be right out here if you need anything. And right afterwards you're going to bed; I know you haven't slept since before that night."
That night being Jim's failed mission.
Jim watches Bones scurry away, and sighs. He runs a hand through his ragged hair and leans against the bathroom counter, letting the muscles in his back relax. The blond's been tensed since the night he stepped off the boat, with John Harrison using him as support. Harrison now is probably under medical treatment in the San Diego Hospital, but other than that, Jim has no idea what's going through the man's head. But right now, selfish as it is, he needs to worry about himself. He hasn't been able to take a single bite of food and water only makes his stomach churn. Sleeping is a whole other issue in its self.
He rubs a hand over his face and huffs before beginning to undress himself, not bothering to close the door. Bones will simply open it the second he steps into the shower. Jim then runs the water hot, waiting for the steam to begin to pool out before stepping inside. The water instantly reaches his aching muscles, letting him finally sag in relief. He cleans up slowly, making sure to get every inch of his body clean before turning off the shower and being met with Bones waiting with a towel.
"You alright Jimbo? You were in there for nearly half an hour." Bones inquires, wrapping the towel around his shoulders and sitting him down on the toilet.
Jim nods sleepily, "Yeah, I must've zoned out or something."
Bones purses his lips, examining him closely. Jim's shoulders are hunched over, he's leaning over, elbows on knees, head bowed, water dripping from the tips of his golden hair.
Jim feels a towel begin to massage through his hair, "It's alright, you're tired." He hears Bones' voice murmur somewhere above his head. He closes his eyes, letting Bones' soft rhythmic brushes lull him.
Next thing he knows, Bones is making him stand, towel dropping shamelessly to the floor. It's not the first time Bones has seen him this pathetic and vulnerable, so Jim doesn't mind it, he doesn't even care when his best friend helps him dress.
"There you go, now time for bed kid."
Bones' arms lead him to bed, guiding him onto the cushioned mattress, then blankets being pulled close to his chin.
Jim blinks drowsily up at his friend, grasping his hand, "Thanks Bones." The southerner gives him a smile, "No problem Jim, get some rest now."
He does as he's told. His thoughts begin to ebb away, and the darkness swoops in and clouds his mind. His subconscious can only dream of black waves, beating again the side of his boat, sending her from side to side, tipping and testing her bulk. Water rushes along the decks and the engine begins to sputter and spurt its last efforts. The wheel spins freely, letting the boat be taken by the rising waves. Lights start to flicker out and the only sounds he can hear is the roaring ocean in his ears, making his heart thump loudly in his chest. He clenches the railing and feels the fear grab at lungs, stealing his breath away as the next large wave collides into the boat, sending her rolling into the water, submerged in the cold darkness. When she surfaces he's on the ground, clinging onto the guardrail desperately before the next wave hits, drowning his lungs and filling his vision with the haunted black.
When he surfaces again, he's gasping for breath and is crawling over to the steering wheel, hoping to guide the boat out of this storm. But the next wave isn't as merciful as the last, its sends him overboard, under the power of the ocean's might.
As he struggles to stay afloat, the one person he thinks of before he slips under the surface is Bones, he wants Bones here, no not here, he wants Bones to save him, he needs Bones to save him.
Apparently he'd screamed out to Bones in his sleep, because a warm presence wraps around him and suddenly he's not deserted in the open waters, but curled up on his bed, choking on his own tears and sobs of despair. But Bones is there now, letting Jim press up again his chest.
"You're alright kid." Bones soothes, speaking softly into his damp hair.
Jim's breath hitches, and he grips onto the southerner's loose t-shirt, shaking the memories of the icy waters from his mind.
"It's alright, take your time. I'll be here waiting kid." Bones mutters gently, "I'll always being waiting for you Jim."