"Well Shinra, what's the diagnosis? Nothing too horrible, I hope~"

Izaya laughed, spinning in his desk's chair. He thought himself to be a funny man. But Namie was an even funnier woman. Her glare could barely reach him from where she lay slumped into the couch, ashen and weak. After nearly ten days of being unable to retain food in her belly, Namie had finally given in to Izaya's nagging that she see an underground doctor. As much as he enjoyed her apparent pain, Izaya would be loath to catch whatever bug Namie now possessed. It was unprofessional to come into work so ill.

"I'm not quite sure. There's no fever and it doesn't seem to be bacterial. It could be a virus but-"

"It's either a virus or it's not." Namie snapped, voice barely above a whisper. "So make up your mind already. It isn't that hard."

Shinra swallowed. "But I think you already know?"

Gradually Izaya's seat came to a halt. He leaned into his desk, chin in hand. "Have you been keeping secrets from me, Namie? That would be mean of you. More importantly, it's a violation of our agreement."

"Shut up." Turning her head into the cushions, she let out a shaky breath. "I'm too sick to listen to your disgusting voice."

"But I really don't think you're sick at all! That's what I've been trying to say. All of your symptoms—"

"SHUT UP!"

"I'd be careful if I were you, Shrina. She bites." Izaya's eyes never left the crown of Namie's head, peaking just above the couch.

This was not how Shinra had hoped to spend his Saturday afternoon. His plans of wooing Celty beneath the shade at the city park were buried within a bucket of vomit. This wasn't fun for either him or Namie. At least Izaya seemed to be enjoying himself. Sighing, Shrina pushed up his glasses and continued.

"Aside from fatigue, all of your complaints seem to stem from your abdomen. I could feel for any abnormalities, but it wouldn't be a thorough check."

"Do not touch me."

The unspoken threat laced within her growl seemed all too sincere. Shrina immediately leaned back, hands up in defense.

"Let the man do his job, Namie. He came here just for you, on the weekend no less," Izaya said.

"I told you not to call him. If anything, this is your fault!"

"And how exactly is that?"

"Um, guys?" Shrina interrupted. "I can come back tomorrow?"

"That won't be necessary. Go ahead and feel her stomach. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you both~"

Namie did not respond, too weak with fatigue to do anything other than wince. She rarely, if ever, felt nauseous. And her sleep schedule had yet to fail her. But she couldn't bring herself to accept what she knew Shinra would say. It was humiliating. And Izaya could smell the humiliation within her; that's the real reason that he had gone against her wishes to not call Shinra. He probably had already guessed. The thought made her gut twist further.

With care, Shinra slowly inched forwards as though approaching an unfamiliar dog. His hands were cold against her skin and Namie snarled in warning. He replied with a sheepish grin, continuing to press gently into her stomach. It lasted only a minute or two, but Namie felt it had been weeks.

"Well?"

"Though small, almost unnoticeable, I did feel something. You really should stop by my place for a comprehensive examination. You either have the beginning of a tumor or—"

"Or, what?" Izaya purred.

"I'd rather not say." Standing, Shrina gathered his things and gazed desperately at the door.

"Say it."

"Namie-you are pregnant. You can't continue to ignore something like this."

Laughter rumbled in the base of Izaya's throat. He stood, almost leaping onto his feet, and strolled to the couch placing a hand on either side of Namie's head. She had yet to move. The 'diagnosis' was hardly surprising. Namie was a woman after all, and well-educated. But she had childishly hoped that Shinra would say otherwise.

"I can't be." It was too horrible to grasp. And denial was far too tempting.

"But you are. I know it's hard, I don't really understand it myself—"

"Well you see, Shinra. When a condom breaks between a man and a woman—" Izaya ducked a pillow, letting his words fall short. Namie was now sitting up, the venom within her eyes burning bright in spite of her ailments. Fists clenched, bone white at the knuckle, she exhaled shakily.

"This is your fault, Izaya."

"It's our fault. You consented."

"Under the impression you knew how to properly use a damn condom!"

"I don't hear you complaining about your failed birth control. I know it's hard for you to do so, but try and think logically."

"Wait. Izaya's the father?!" Shinra's bag slipped from his fingers.

"Aren't you going to congratulate me?"

Namie would have yelled at them both, but a heavy wave of nausea struck at her core. She leaned over and vomited, not even bothering to aim for the bucket. It would stain Izaya's carpet for sure. She hoped that made for a small victory.

Shinra blinked. "The antichrist is upon us."

A/N: Because we all know that Izaya and Namie would give birth to the antichrist. Izaya has the demon seed. Bless my otp. Because if they were to be in a relationship it would be so messed up, and complicating that with an unplanned pregnancy is far too tempting. Plus I really needed the writing exercise, I haven't written anything in years. School keeps me busy. I might make this longer if I get inspired with more ideas. I've never been pregnant and that's probably obvious? Thanks for clicking! :3